psychological distress

The final frontier. Deciding when, if and how.

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DougAnd
Posts: 1206
Joined: Sun Jul 08, 2018 5:10 pm
Location: Melbourne, Florida

psychological distress

Postby DougAnd » Mon Jan 28, 2019 3:55 pm

You fence sitters who just can't decide know exactly what I'm talking about. Giving up on your natural erection is a very hard choice. Almost like pulling life support for a friend. Every negative issue is amplified. For me it didn't end with my implant. The nightmare kept going. But the vast majority come out of surgery look down and smile. A hard cock is hard to deny. So get yourself a huge smile. You won't regret it! Stress is way over rated. :o
LGX 18cm+3cmRTE 8 / 8/18 by Docs Saracino , Prody of FL Disfigured by Implant. Married 31 years, Functionally impotent 2+ years. 4" day of surgery now 7" inflated after VED 6.5" without. Pump moved 12/4/18 by Dr Kata

Lost Sheep
Posts: 3348
Joined: Mon Jul 04, 2016 11:16 pm

Re: psychological distress

Postby Lost Sheep » Mon Jan 28, 2019 4:08 pm

DougAnd wrote:You fence sitters who just can't decide know exactly what I'm talking about. Giving up on your natural erection is a very hard choice. Almost like pulling life support for a friend. Every negative issue is amplified. For me it didn't end with my implant. The nightmare kept going. But the vast majority come out of surgery look down and smile. A hard cock is hard to deny. So get yourself a huge smile. You won't regret it! Stress is way over rated. :o

"Pulling the plug on a friend".

Very perceptive. That is EXACTLY how I felt. Giving up on a hope of redemption. Letting go of the carabiner that holds me to the cliff's face (even though I know the rope is frayed badly) is difficult even when a safety line (the implant) is within reach.

Irreversible steps, even when clearly in a forward direction is difficult.

When effective treatments for permanent beard removal became available, men (even those who intended to continue shaving their facial hair forever) still rejected the choice. Simply having the CAPACITY for a beard/mustache is important to a man's self-image. Taking (even a non-functional) penis' POTENTIAL for a natural erection off the table (even in exchange for a 95% certain -?artificial?- but functional) erection.

I felt similarly about having a vasectomy, even though the chances of me having sex with a woman of child-bearing years is pretty slim. Just having those swimmers AVAILABLE holds emotional weight.

Thanks, DougAnd, for expressing with clarity what I felt and what I think almost all men here have somewhere in their hearts.
Lost Sheep
AMS LGX 18+3 Nov 6, 2017 Dr Shaw.
READ OLD THREADS to ask better questions and better understand answers.
Make yourself part of your medical team.
Document your current penile size: photos and written records.
Pre-op V.E.D. therapy helps.

GruffHunter
Posts: 112
Joined: Sun Sep 23, 2018 10:43 pm
Location: Chester, VT, USA
Contact:

Re: psychological distress

Postby GruffHunter » Mon Jan 28, 2019 5:23 pm

Lost Sheep wrote:
Irreversible steps, even when clearly in a forward direction is difficult..


Bingo. I remember saying to my Doc before the implant, "This HAS to work, because once its done, there's no going back!"
Gruff Hunter, 59, Titan (24 cm + 1 inch extenders) implanted by Dr Gross, 07 Jan 2017. Gay/open marriage, Chester, VT, USA

Lost Sheep
Posts: 3348
Joined: Mon Jul 04, 2016 11:16 pm

Re: psychological distress

Postby Lost Sheep » Mon Jan 28, 2019 5:44 pm

GruffHunter wrote:
Lost Sheep wrote:
Irreversible steps, even when clearly in a forward direction is difficult..


Bingo. I remember saying to my Doc before the implant, "This HAS to work, because once its done, there's no going back!"

Yep, GruffHunter. Bingo.

Stepping off the cliff to implantsville is best done when there is NOTHING to go back TO.

The hard part is if you still have residual erections inadequate for sex but thinking there might be a less invasive treatment that would restore full function. Weighing that hope (spontaneous and natural sex again) against the near-certainty of sexual function that an implant provides is a tough decision.
Lost Sheep
AMS LGX 18+3 Nov 6, 2017 Dr Shaw.
READ OLD THREADS to ask better questions and better understand answers.
Make yourself part of your medical team.
Document your current penile size: photos and written records.
Pre-op V.E.D. therapy helps.

Bionic Richard
Posts: 63
Joined: Fri Jun 22, 2018 6:23 pm
Location: OKC, OK

Re: psychological distress

Postby Bionic Richard » Mon Jan 28, 2019 6:12 pm

To me it would be like having a foot that doesn't allow you to walk, causes you to be in pain, and is not repairable by surgery. You can't live life as you once did. You feel less of a man because you can't do the things you used to.

You can live as is or have surgery to remove the foot. You will be fitted with a prosthetic foot that will allow you to walk, run, dance, without pain.

The choice is yours!
1957 model, married 27yr first time 6 yr present,10/16 Retired,12/16 PSA 4.9, 1/17 Biopsy, 2/17 Gleason 4+3, 3/17 Robotic Prostatectomy, 4/17 PSA nondecetable, Penile therapy, pills/VED/Trimix, 5/25/18 AMS 700 LGX 21cm 3cm RTE.

defiant
Posts: 337
Joined: Mon Apr 25, 2016 9:35 am

Re: psychological distress

Postby defiant » Tue Jan 29, 2019 12:38 pm

This post basically surmises my life's biggest predicament right now...
35 y.o, mild to moderate ED since 21, 3 Dopplers with 1 result of VL & 3 later results of NO physical problem, critically dependent on cialis (efficacy now waning), overcame Lymophoma at 26, ED causing immense & profound psychological distress

Xomanow
Posts: 392
Joined: Mon Dec 14, 2015 9:03 pm

Re: psychological distress

Postby Xomanow » Tue Jan 29, 2019 9:18 pm

I had no problem giving up on my non existent natural erection....I couldn't worry about what used to be.....the anxiety of being a single guy, dating women and not being able to get it up was far more stressful than worrying about not being able to go back....go back to what?......at 69 years old with a two year old implant....I'm walking around like a proud peacock......as for being on the fence....I was on the fence for maybe a couple of days and then realized that time was of the essence and had it done as soon as was possible.....
Implanted Jan 4 2017 by Dr. Eid - 70 yo and single...ED gradually over 15 yrs...tired of pills, injections, cock rings....happy with my choice and results. Titan OTR - one 20cm cylinder - one 20cm+1 RTE...."got a rocket in my pocket"....

DougAnd
Posts: 1206
Joined: Sun Jul 08, 2018 5:10 pm
Location: Melbourne, Florida

Re: psychological distress

Postby DougAnd » Tue Jan 29, 2019 9:51 pm

Xo,
I would say it is easier for us older guys but I was 66 and it was not easy. Let me rephrase that, I had researched on and off for 4 years prior. I was 100% ready after my doppler then I talked to my uro. I'm going to shorten you about this much (1 inch). I had just found videos warning about these quacks who did not know how to use modern implants and freaked. My first try and I had found one or rather been referred to him. So I went looking. Guy number 2 said he would shrink me even more if he wanted to had just cut 2" off of a patient. I freaked even more. Then guys number 3 and 4 both showed me they would take about 1/2" so I gave up and went for it. In my case it was the docs who caused my doubts. Don't get me wrong I figured that I had no other choice for 2 years prior but not until it was proven to be physical not mental did I finally feel comfortable with an implant.
LGX 18cm+3cmRTE 8 / 8/18 by Docs Saracino , Prody of FL Disfigured by Implant. Married 31 years, Functionally impotent 2+ years. 4" day of surgery now 7" inflated after VED 6.5" without. Pump moved 12/4/18 by Dr Kata

needhelp
Posts: 208
Joined: Sun Jan 07, 2018 7:07 pm

Re: psychological distress

Postby needhelp » Tue Mar 05, 2019 5:14 pm

Xomanow wrote:I had no problem giving up on my non existent natural erection....I couldn't worry about what used to be.....the anxiety of being a single guy, dating women and not being able to get it up was far more stressful than worrying about not being able to go back....go back to what?......at 69 years old with a two year old implant....I'm walking around like a proud peacock......as for being on the fence....I was on the fence for maybe a couple of days and then realized that time was of the essence and had it done as soon as was possible.....

I'm single too.....and worried about the dating seen as far as not being natural
61 years old, single, Charlotte NC, Had a penile fracture. Implant scheduled for April 17. Dr Terlecki Winston-Salem, NC

Lost Sheep
Posts: 3348
Joined: Mon Jul 04, 2016 11:16 pm

Re: psychological distress

Postby Lost Sheep » Tue Mar 05, 2019 8:08 pm

It is also hard to make such a decision when you have been depressed and questioning your self-image and abilities because of E.D.
Lost Sheep
AMS LGX 18+3 Nov 6, 2017 Dr Shaw.
READ OLD THREADS to ask better questions and better understand answers.
Make yourself part of your medical team.
Document your current penile size: photos and written records.
Pre-op V.E.D. therapy helps.


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