who to tell or not?

The final frontier. Deciding when, if and how.

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m507116
Posts: 1
Joined: Wed Feb 14, 2018 1:47 pm

who to tell or not?

Postby m507116 » Sat Sep 15, 2018 9:10 pm

I have decided to go ahead and get an implant. My problem is I don't really want anyone (other than my wife) to know that I am having this surgery. My son and his wife are living with us, so they will know something is up (no pun intended).

Have others tried to keep it from their friends and family? What kind of excuse can you use? My doctor said a hernia operation could be used as they would have similar restrictions post surgery.

David_R
Posts: 2145
Joined: Mon Nov 02, 2015 1:03 pm

Re: who to tell or not?

Postby David_R » Sat Sep 15, 2018 9:28 pm

I just told people that I was having "urological surgery" (which is the truth), and no one wanted additional information. :)

Greg1956
Posts: 1717
Joined: Sun Aug 06, 2017 8:35 am
Location: Atlanta, GA USA

Re: who to tell or not?

Postby Greg1956 » Sat Sep 15, 2018 9:35 pm

My wife was the only one who knew about my surgery. I think since your son and his wife live with you it makes sense to tell them you had hernia surgery. If they share your space it will be difficult to hide your revert from them.

Many surgeons leave guys at least partially pumped after surgery so you will also need some super baggy sweat pants and big t-shirt if you don’t want to make a big show.

Best wishes.
I am 64 and had ED from a VL. Implanted by Dr. Ronald Anglade in Atlanta on 9/18/17. I have an AMS700LGX 21 cm via a Penoscrotal incision. Very happy with results. 5 3/4” soft and 6 3/4” x 5 5/8” hard.

Hawkman
Posts: 556
Joined: Sat Aug 25, 2012 3:09 pm
Location: PA
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Re: who to tell or not?

Postby Hawkman » Sat Sep 15, 2018 9:50 pm

Inguinal hernia repair but read up enough so you know what it is if asked.

Also, it will depend a lot on your surgeons post-op protocol and recovery. With Eid I had to take 2 hot soaks a day for at least 30 minutes each. Some of these protocols might be tricky to explain to someone living with you. They might also ask why you had hernia surgery out of town.

You can do it, just prepare your story.
Prostatectomy 2004-Bimix caused Peyronies-Viagra had little effect. Active sex life with wife of 50 yrs- been dependent on a VED for 10 yrs. 22cm Titan w/Dr. Eid Aug 7th See my Implant Journal -> http://www.peyroniesforum.net/index.php/board,56.0.html

Larry10625

Re: who to tell or not?

Postby Larry10625 » Sun Sep 16, 2018 7:51 am

Hawkman wrote:Inguinal hernia repair but read up enough so you know what it is if asked.

Also, it will depend a lot on your surgeons post-op protocol and recovery. With Eid I had to take 2 hot soaks a day for at least 30 minutes each. Some of these protocols might be tricky to explain to someone living with you. They might also ask why you had hernia surgery out of town.

You can do it, just prepare your story.



Inguinal hernia is perfect, you can say they are going to check your prostate too just in case you slip and say something that anyone catches. Good luck :)

Larry

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Happy Toy
Posts: 722
Joined: Fri May 11, 2018 9:30 am

Re: who to tell or not?

Postby Happy Toy » Sun Sep 16, 2018 9:59 am

I had the same concerns, turns out that few asked for any more details once you told them the "location" of your surgery. One friend did ask for more information, turns out he was having ED problems himself, so I told him all about it and about Frank Talk. He thanked me for being so "frank" about what I had had done. It's just not a big deal so don't worry about it.
Andy
Implanted 6/26/2018, Coloplast Titan 20cm, no RTE'S, infra pubic, Dr. Rhee, Kaiser :o 8-) 76yrs., married 53 yrs. ED for over 20 yrs.

briefs
Posts: 26
Joined: Tue Oct 17, 2017 2:03 am

Re: who to tell or not?

Postby briefs » Sun Sep 16, 2018 11:46 am

After my surgery I was having dinner with my circle of friends at one of our houses. I decided to tell them my full story, from the priapism that started my erectile dysfunction in 2004, through the shrinking of my penis due to Peyronie's disease, to my decision to get an implant in June 2018. But I've always been very open to my friends and knew it was a safe place to share. Besides, guys don't tend to tell one another that their penis lost length and girth or that they have troubles getting hard or aroused. It should be talked about more often but, as open as I am, I didn't even share my ED issues with many. I'm very fortunate to have non-judgmental and supportive friends.
Greg. 63. Gay in Los Angeles. HIV positive since '81. ED, venous leak and Peyronie's disease starting at age 49. Loss of length and girth -- 6 ¾ x 5 ½ before ED, 5 ½ x 5 pre-surgery 14 years later, 5 x 4 ½ after implant. Surgery was June 2018. :D

JohnThomas
Posts: 63
Joined: Mon Feb 05, 2018 5:59 pm

Re: who to tell or not?

Postby JohnThomas » Sun Sep 16, 2018 12:43 pm

I just said - small problem with the waterworks that needed to be fixed - that tended to close off any further discussion
Male, 64, suffers from ED, hypertension, elevated cholesterol, type II diabetes, Sleep Apnea, and Hypogonadtropism
Getting a Coloplast Titan Implant Early April. Surgeon Mr David Ralph, London.

DougAnd
Posts: 1206
Joined: Sun Jul 08, 2018 5:10 pm
Location: Melbourne, Florida

Re: who to tell or not?

Postby DougAnd » Sun Sep 16, 2018 3:00 pm

You say they are living with you? I was completely naked for at least 3 weeks did not want anything touching that area. It's now 6 weeks and I am still naked at night from the waist down. Of course that is in the bedroom. But even my flaccid pokes out against very baggy night clothes looks like an erection.
Sooooo. I'm just saying this thing is hard to hide, no pun intended.
My 2 cents if they are in your house 24/7 come clean and they will respect your privacy not be shocked when they accidentally see more than they bargained for.
Short answer, ask your wife and do what she says.
LGX 18cm+3cmRTE 8 / 8/18 by Docs Saracino , Prody of FL Disfigured by Implant. Married 31 years, Functionally impotent 2+ years. 4" day of surgery now 7" inflated after VED 6.5" without. Pump moved 12/4/18 by Dr Kata

FishingTime67
Posts: 380
Joined: Fri Jul 13, 2018 11:58 pm

Re: who to tell or not?

Postby FishingTime67 » Sun Sep 16, 2018 3:21 pm

My kids (both girls) was still living with us when I had mine surgery.
I just came out an told them that things wasn't up to par an needed to be fixed. I think it's best to do that stead of trying to what you've told.
Less stress trying to keep it hidden.

Carl
I'm 51 new implant in Jan. 2018 with Titan one 24 cm no RTE,had issues with tubbing and fluid gathered around reservoir which cause deflation issues. Tubbing got kinked. Had total replacement with AMS CX 24cm 3rtes
Size 7 in. girth 6 erect


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