andywalther wrote:Question for those of you who could get an erection before implant but couldn't keep it long enough for intercourse. That has been my problem for over 6 mo. now, been using injections for 12+ yrs. now, and I'm to the point that I don't try now because I have it in my head that I will fail. My wife is very understanding but I feel like a failure. Question; after your implant and recovery, how confident were you that you would be able to perform? Did it take a number of "tries"? I know we are all different but would like some idea what some of you went through. I'm 74 years young, have a wonderful wife of 51 years, and am looking forward to fully satisfying her, and myself. Thanks for your input.
P.S. Should be having surgery in June sometime, waiting for date, everything has been approved, (Kaiser).
Here's my prescription:
Pump up to just barely enough that your dick does not buckle when you press on the tip with the pressure (from your hand) approximating the pressure from you wife's vagina during penetration. (Your wife does not have to be present for this).
If your erection is of such a size that you can conceal it in everyday activities, do this during the day. If not, do this at night.
The purpose is to show/reassure/convince your unconscious mind that your dick will stay erect, no matter what.
That SHOULD give you the confidence that your erection will not cooapse at inopportune times.
This is what I do to boost my confidence that I can rely on the implant to maintain an erection usable for sex.\
Having said that, my and my partner's problem is no longer MY ability to maintain an erection. But her ability to move with the flow. (She has bad knees and other problems).. An ironic twist. Before, I had difficulty. Now SHE has the difficulty.
But I have found that my confidence that we can try this position, that position, another position, position after position until we find one that works. And I can try repeatedly without a single shred of doubt that my erection will BE THERE for her to try whatever position will work for her.
Second prescruption:
Level with her. She WILL understand. Women are chromosomaly wired to be supportive (I know, that SOUNDS sexist, but trust me, it is not. It is no more sexist than recognizing that women produce eggs and men produce sperm.) And, aftera all, it is in her best interest for the two of you to succeed.
Third prescription:
Remember that it is not the destination that is the goal. It is the JOURNEY. Even if you don't have orgasms (either of you), coupling is the journey.