My Journal

The final frontier. Deciding when, if and how.
merrix
Posts: 1188
Joined: Tue Oct 27, 2015 1:08 am

Re: Cialis update

Postby merrix » Thu Jun 02, 2016 1:54 am

alibaba wrote: How much better can it get Merrix? Your dick is almost like a genie in a bottle now!
Cheers.
d


I think you're right actually. Not only is there nothing to complain about, but it works great.
But I'm a hard mf to please... Always setting up extremely high standards for everything in life, including a dick prosthesis.
43 yo, ED forever from VL
Fit and active
Implanted December 2015
Titan XL 24 cm, no RTEs
Dr. Eid
Activated day 13
Sex after 3 weeks
Gained length and girth
So far It works perfectly
Only one advice: Find a world class surgeon

alibaba
Posts: 3027
Joined: Sun Oct 12, 2014 8:04 pm

Re: Cialis update

Postby alibaba » Thu Jun 02, 2016 1:01 pm

merrix wrote:
alibaba wrote: How much better can it get Merrix? Your dick is almost like a genie in a bottle now!
Cheers.
d


I think you're right actually. Not only is there nothing to complain about, but it works great.
But I'm a hard mf to please... Always setting up extremely high standards for everything in life, including a dick prosthesis.


Standards are important. Never settle for less. If you do, less is what you will receive. No sense in letting things spiral down to junk status.
Awesome man. Keep your lady happy with it!
d
LGX 21cm .Milam 01/13/16. Horror; both service and surgical outcome. hated infrapubic installation. Kramer revision 03/01/17. 22cm Titan +1.5cm extender. Those who think their opinion is the only one that matters are a danger to themselves and others.

PFracture

Re: My Journal

Postby PFracture » Thu Jun 02, 2016 9:54 pm

I will second what this gentleman said above. Enjoy!

merrix
Posts: 1188
Joined: Tue Oct 27, 2015 1:08 am

7 months post-op update

Postby merrix » Mon Jul 11, 2016 1:14 pm

I’m now four days shy of seven months from my implant surgery by Dr. Eid in NY. I’ve been posting frequent updates all the way, the last one I think was at six months. I didn’t look back and read any of the previous ones before writing this just to make sure I write 100% what I experience now without influence of anything I wrote before.


Psychological and emotional status

For sure, I’d say this is the major difference compared to a couple of months ago. It was pretty clear to me already after a few months that I had gotten about as good results from a technical/physical point of view as practically possible, but I still wasn’t in seventh heaven about it. Even though I wasn’t impotent anymore, I still felt rather un-normal. Even though my wife (of course) knows all about this, I still felt kind of awkward about the whole thing. I didn’t like her to see me pumping up and didn’t like the feeling of the lack of ability to get the erection during foreplay – as it is supposed to be.
The sex itself wasn’t as good as I had hoped either. I was still severely affected by my old ED-habits. Before the implant, I was always fighting to keep my erection. My best weapon in that fight was to keep going hard with maximal stimulation/friction from start to finish. If I didn’t orgasm quite quickly, my dick was doomed do go down. My wife was the same. She knew me well of course after all years, and did her best as well to keep the intensity up from start to end. And likewise, she knew that if I didn’t orgasm within soon, we were in trouble. This of course made her very focused on me and my pleasure, and not so much on herself and her pleasure.
This phenomenon followed us in to my bionic sex life as well. It made it hard for me to relax and just enjoy and take my time. Likewise, my wife had a huge change to go through as well. To learn to stop focusing on me coming fast, and just learn to enjoy herself instead, confident that I can keep going forever if needed and wanted.
Fast forward, the last month or so, there has been a huge improvement in this regard. I can surely say that we’re both really learning to put this robot dick to best use. I don’t think we’ve reached the end yet on this learning curve, but we’re for sure already in a good place. We’re both having more pleasure from our sex life than we’ve ever had during our time together before. I see (and hear) my wife enjoying our sex more than ever before and that in turn makes me feel great and confident – and voila – we’re in a virtuous circle.
But it has basically taken me (or taken us) 7 months of practice to get to this stage. It isn’t till now that we really start to reap the true benefits of the bionic dick. And who knows, maybe we’ll get even further from here..?


Physical results

Size

I have reported many times about this. I measured myself to anywhere between 16 (6.3") and 17 cm (6.7") length and 13.5-14 cm (5.3"-5.5") girth before surgery. Depending on the quality of the day of my erection. Dr. Eid measured me to 16.5 cm (6.5") length and 14.0 cm (5.5") girth day before surgery. He guaranteed that those measurements was what I would get after surgery. Nothing more, nothing less. He was right. I have been measuring myself roughly once per week since surgery just to see what the final outcome will be and whether the size keeps changing.
The average of the last four measurements are 17.0 cm (6.7") length and 14.0 cm (5.5") girth. Especially the girth is difficult to measure in a reliable way I’d say. It depends on where on the shaft I measure, and it depends on how tight I pull the tape. I have measured anywhere between 13.8 (5.4") and 14.3 cm (5.6"), but the average will fall at pretty much 14.0 cm (5.5"). Same with my length, I have measured between 16.7 (6.6") and 17.2 cm (6.8"). But the average is 17.0 (6.7").
That would mean I have gained 0.5 cm (0.2") in length and maintained my girth compared to what Dr. Eid measured in his clinic day before surgery. And it means he kept his promise and then some.


Pump

I have posted pictures before on my pump. It cannot be seen when I am standing up naked. Neither with my dick flaccid or erect (i.e. deflated or inflated). It sits at the same height as my balls, hidden behind the balls. It can easily be felt though if thoroughly touching my scrotum. And I keep saying that anyone who says the pump cannot be felt by a woman who thoroughly touches the balls is lying. If the pump cannot be felt – then how the fuck can you inflate/deflate it???? To be able to manipulate the pump, and especially the deflate valve, one must be able to feel the contours very clearly. And if the owner of the pump can feel it very clearly when touching it, then so can anyone else. Period.
That said, this is no big deal. My wife knows I have an implant, and we both know there is a pump in my scrotum. She will feel it when she works her magic during a blowjob, but so what?
None of us can feel the pump during intercourse in any position. It is nowhere near the shaft of the penis, it sits further down, further behind – behind the balls.


Tubing

The tubing cannot be seen, but can be felt if thoroughly palpated. Again, this is a non-issue though, and I think the tubing would not be felt by a woman during any sort of touching during sex.


Pumping

The number of pumps I can get in has changed over time. At first, I couldn’t even compress the pump completely. I could just partly compress it. Once I could completely compress it, wall-to-wall, I could do a bit over 20 pumps. This gradually increased. In march, 4 months after surgery, I could do around 27.
4 months after surgery – 29.
5 months after surgery – 31.
6 months after surgery – 34.
7 months after surgery – 36.
I still get pain in the tip when I inflate to maximum – if I am not aroused. When aroused and my glans is filled with blood, I feel no pain no matter how much I inflate. Never did really.
I can pump up to around 20 pumps with one hand, beyond that I need two hands to be able to completely compress the pump.


Deflating

Deflating was an issue in the early days. I think most (or at least many) guys who get an implant get disappointed at first with their flaccid. So did I. Turned out though that part of the reason was a non-complete deflation. It was also due to the stiff plastic in the Titan needed some time to soften.
When I deflate from a full or close to full inflation, I will hear and feel a buzz when the fluid flushes out from the cylinders. This will take a super erection down to pretty much what a normal dick looks like right after ejaculation in a few seconds.
If I deflate from a more comfortable, sex-level inflation, I will not always hear and feel the buzz. But the one-touch-release still works and the erection disappears in a few seconds.
After that, I always use one hand to squeeze the shaft (hard) and one hand to press the perineal area. Next step is to press the pump once to reset the deflate valve in order to avoid auto-inflation. Most of the time, this will work immediately. Sometimes though, I can press the pump several times without getting the ‘pop’. The pump just feels mushy and nothing really happens. These times, I just press the deflate valve once again, and then I compress the pump to get the ‘pop’.


Flaccid look and feel

My flaccid is for sure larger than it was pre op. It is now 14 cm (5.5") long and 11.8 cm (4.6") girth, which is bigger than the average erect penis according to the largest survey in the world.
My pre-op flaccid was 10.8 cm (4.25") long and 11.5 cm (4.5") girth.
However, this rather big flaccid doesn't cause me any issues. It is soft enough to hang pretty much straight down. And it is pliable enough for me to be able to bunch it down my underwear instead of keeping it hanging down one leg - which would definitely look quite abnormal.


Hardness

If I pump the dick full, i.e. 36-38 pumps, it will be so hard that it is basically un-useable for sex. The shaft would not bend a single millimeter no matter how hard I tried to. This is not the main reason it can’t be used for sex though. It is the base flex. When fully pumped, the dick points straight out at 2:00 and can barely be flexed in any direction. Not up, or down, and not right or left. This makes it hard to have good sex, since it requires some flexibility in the base where the shaft is ‘attached’ to the body. Furthermore, at full inflation, I will feel the cylinders in my dick when having sex. Just a weird feeling.
Regarding the ‘bath-towel test’, at full inflation I could probably hang a kettlebell at my dick and it’d still point well above 3:00… Joking aside, I seriously could hang as many bath towels that can fit on it and it will barely flex a millimeter. If forcing it up or down with my hand, I cannot get it up to my belly and not further down than 3:00. Same lack of flexibility from left to right.

For sex, I used to pump around 20-23 pumps. Nowadays I can go further without experiencing the negative effects. I am now using around 26-27 pumps for sex (70% inflated). This makes the dick still rock hard (harder than my best natural erection ever was, and harder than or at least as hard as any natural dick can ever be according to the best judge I have available), and it still feels completely natural for me. I don’t even feel the cylinders in my dick. It just feels like a normal erection. If I’d pump harder, I’d feel the cylinders in my dick. This feeling occurred at 23-24 pumps a few months ago, and now at 28-29. Perhaps this will keep changing and maybe I’ll use an even harder dick for intercourse in the future. Whatever the advantage of that would be. My wife thinks there would be no advantage whatsoever with further pumping beyond where I am today.


Curvature

Before surgery I had a pretty bad curvature. It was a ‘two-stage’ curvature, the shaft itself was curved to the left, but the shaft came out from my body pointing to the left as well. Meaning the angle between my dick and my belly was >90 degrees on the right side and <90 degrees on the left side.
Dr. Eid said he thought the curvature would improve some but not disappear. I am really happy with the outcome. There is a tiny little curvature still there, but it is very little. Before surgery, my dick probably pointed 45 degrees to the left (i.e. half way between straight forward and all the way to the side as in parallel with my body). Now it is perhaps 5 degrees. No issue.
I do however have a curved flaccid these days. It is simply the cylinders buckling. The curve is still less than my erect curvature was pre-op. I don't care about this, since it doesn't feel awkward or painful in any way. I don't feel it at all. Also, the buckling of the cylinders cannot be seen in any way. There are no sharp edges or anything which can bee seen. Just that the dick is slightly bent when flaccid. If I give it 3-4 pumps this will disappear.


Glans

The first few months after surgery I kept taking Cialis and/or Viagra when having sex. Just as an old habit. I also thought it’d help with glans hardness. I decided to stop that since this was one of the reasons for getting an implant in the first place – to stop all the timing of pills. And to my great satisfaction I didn’t even notice any difference when skipping the pills. My glans still swells up and fills with blood. It gets really hard and full. This, I am sure, is thanks to the sclerotherapy surgery I did with Dr. Kuehhas in Vienna 5-6 months before my implant surgery. Before the sclerotherapy, my glans didn’t get very hard. Only half-full, or half-hard. I just hope that effect will last forever. Because a rock hard shaft with a soft glans wouldn’t be nice. Now I am happy to have a super hard implant-shaft and a very, very hard glans as well.


Feeling

As said above, if I pump too hard, it feels a bit unnatural since I will feel the cylinders in the dick when having sex. However, if pumping at the right level, it feels completely natural when having sex.
I am still sort of numb on the shaft. If I just touch my shaft, I can feel that I have less sensitivity. For some reason, I don’t feel less when having sex though.


Orgasm

My orgasms are same, or maybe slightly stronger than before surgery. It is already hard to remember exactly how it felt before…
It happens occasionally that I cannot orgasm from intercourse. Being the way I am, I started to record how often it happens. 1 out of 10. That’s of course not ideal, but in the bigger scheme of things, I don’t give much of a fuck. I used to have a dick which went down about 3 times of 10 during sex even when on a heavy overdose of a Viagra/Cialis combination. And of the other 7 I often finished with a semi-hardon and couldn’t always reach an orgasm either.
So to have a rock hard dick 10 times out of 10 and reach orgasm 9 out of 10 is fantastic in my book. And the tenth time I can still give my wife what she wants and then some. And I can make myself come with my hand if I want to.
Why can’t I come those 10% of times? I don’t know. My theory is that it is all in my head. If it was physical, it’d happen more often, and it would be more of a struggle the other 90% of times.


Physical activity

I am very active. Tennis (at good level with high intensity) and lifting weights are my major activities. When I work out I do mostly heavy basic barbell exercises such as deadlifts, squats, rows, push presses as well as weighted dips and chins.
I am back to doing what I did before surgery in terms of load, intensity and frequency. I never feel bothered during exercise. Weights used for deadlifts and squats are roughly 400 pounds and 300 pounds respectively.
Sometimes I can feel a lingering subtle soreness in my groin after an intense workout or intense sex. But it is nowhere near painful, and it always disappears within short.


Wife

Since she is probably the best judge of the whole thing, having been with me both before and after surgery as well as with other men before she met me, her opinions are of interest.
She clearly thinks there is a big difference on my dick now and before surgery. It is much harder and she simply feels more pleasure from sex now than before. My implant dick (when pumped to comfortable sex-level) is harder or at least as hard as anything she has ever experienced. She thinks it is great to not have to worry about my dick going soft during intercourse. This was a big issue for her as well, both in egoistic terms since this would interrupt intercourse and deprive her of her pleasure as well, but also it was an issue for her since she hated to see me suffer after having to interrupt intercourse with a soft dick. All this is history now, and that is great for her as well. Sex is simply more enjoyable and all the stress related to the ‘will it stay up or not’ is gone.
In terms of how it feels for her, she claims that she cannot feel anything unnatural about my dick during intercourse or even when giving me a blowjob. The only way she will feel the implant is when touching or sucking my balls – she will feel the pump.
43 yo, ED forever from VL
Fit and active
Implanted December 2015
Titan XL 24 cm, no RTEs
Dr. Eid
Activated day 13
Sex after 3 weeks
Gained length and girth
So far It works perfectly
Only one advice: Find a world class surgeon

merrix
Posts: 1188
Joined: Tue Oct 27, 2015 1:08 am

7.5 months update

Postby merrix » Tue Aug 02, 2016 8:08 pm

7.5 months update

This won’t be as thorough as the last one. Focus will be on what is changed since the last one. If you haven’t read it, and if you bother - read it first!

Have been back in Scandinavia for summer. With kids and guests in the house all the time, not as much time for pumping morning and night as when alone during business trips (which is my normal life). Haven’t noticed any difference though in size or number of pumps I can get in. Both have stayed the same.

Have been working out frequently and heavy. No issues despite going all-out on both deadlifts and squats with the same old 400 and 300 pounds respectively.

The great news for me though is that my sex life keeps improving. I guess I needed quite a long time to mentally adjust, accept and learn to reap the benefits of the robot dick. The last month has been nothing short of great. Me and my wife have enjoyed the best sex of our close to 20 years together. I no longer have any issues with being implanted, and I am rather (weirdly) looking at the whole thing as an advantage (compared to a normal dick) instead of as an abnormality. Of course, if being honest, I guess I would still prefer to have a natural dick which worked great. But on the other hand, many natural dicks sitting on a man my age don’t work great (as in never fails, stands hard for hours, etc).
There is an aspect of getting used to things as well. I know how awkward I felt about the implant at first. But now I just enjoy it and don’t really think of it the way I used to (’sure, I can fuck whenever forever, but I am still an impotent freak with plastic tubes in my crap-dick’).
Probably, this is just a matter of the fact that everything becomes normal.
But nevertheless, I am taking advantage to the maximum and enjoying the ability to have great sex.

I also described in previous posts that I occasionally had issues to orgasm. I took notes and found that this happened roughly 1 (or 1-2) times out of 10.
Don’t know if it has anything to do with the change of environment, but during the time back in Scandinavia I did it 15 times and it was never an issue. On the contrary, I had the greatest sex with the perfect sensitivity, and basically felt I could come whenever I wanted.
Will see in a few weeks whether this trend continues or if it goes back to the 9-out-of-10 when my normal (busy) live resumes.

Anyway, my wrap-up in this unusually short update is that I am very happy with the whole thing.
But also that it was a f-ing rough journey to get here. The first weeks were, when looking back at them, bloody rough. I was as handicapped as it gets. Stuck for three weeks in a hotel room with bad pain. And then it took me about half a year to mentally heal and start to fully enjoy.
Hopefully this doesn’t scare anyone off, but rather brings hope to people who have done it and wonder why they take such long time to heal (physically and/or mentally). Just hang in there. You might reach the ’hallelujah’ state eventually…
43 yo, ED forever from VL
Fit and active
Implanted December 2015
Titan XL 24 cm, no RTEs
Dr. Eid
Activated day 13
Sex after 3 weeks
Gained length and girth
So far It works perfectly
Only one advice: Find a world class surgeon

MARKOS2018
Posts: 469
Joined: Mon Aug 22, 2011 5:20 pm

Re: My Journal

Postby MARKOS2018 » Sat Aug 06, 2016 3:11 pm

Merrix

Great follow up post!

Gained some info from your experiences that I should have done at the onset of my implant. Thanks for your openness too.

H
Titan implanted by Dr Eid Due to Peyronies, Implant was the only option for me.

dirtman1993
Posts: 519
Joined: Thu Feb 05, 2015 4:12 pm
Location: Beech Mountain

Re: My Journal

Postby dirtman1993 » Sun Aug 07, 2016 7:40 am

Cialis, Contact Jan Drugs, Canada and they are half the US price. I use 5mg daily and have great success with the penis still filling with blood in the shaft some and head as before implant.
Implanted March 2nd by Dr. Kramer with AMS/LGX. Had a problem lower left (scar tissue) and he placed a larger (thicker) implant as you can here on the YouTube video. Got all back, ED over 10 years before Implant.

Xomanow
Posts: 403
Joined: Mon Dec 14, 2015 9:03 pm

Re: My Journal

Postby Xomanow » Sun Aug 07, 2016 4:07 pm

Thank you Merrix for putting your time, effort, and thought into this......your journal has been most thorough and helpful, detailing all aspects of this procedure and thereafter.....I'm sure that it has helped many more than we'll ever know.....
Implanted Jan 4 2017 by Dr. Eid - 70 yo and single...ED gradually over 15 yrs...tired of pills, injections, cock rings....happy with my choice and results. Titan OTR - one 20cm cylinder - one 20cm+1 RTE...."got a rocket in my pocket"....

PFracture

Re: My Journal

Postby PFracture » Sun Aug 07, 2016 8:59 pm

Merrix, i am so glad to read another update of yours! i couldn't login for some time, and i read both and wanted to comment but i couldn't. Finally now i can again. At least to me, it's helping me a great deal because i am part of the younger group of possible future implantees which are young and have similar activities as you.
I have set new objectives and this upcoming winter i will go to a consultation in office with either Kramer or Eid, and take it from there. You are also inspiring me in creating a thread of my own, detailing my story and using it as a log for future purposes.

Take care, and please keep us updated in the future! Best of luck with the implant! :D

palace01
Posts: 157
Joined: Fri Jul 18, 2014 6:33 pm

Re: My Journal

Postby palace01 » Wed Aug 10, 2016 8:37 pm

Merrix,
I wanted to ask you about your paragraph "Number of Pumps".
You said that after 4 months it was 27, and after 7 months it was 36.
What is the difference between doing 27 back then, versus, stopping at 27 right now? Would you be smaller,softer, or less erect?
Put another way, what impact did being able to do 9 extra pumps give you?
I realize that not all pumps are equal and that I am only 5 weeks post surgery(coloplast), but seems I can get a firm horizontal erection with just 9 (almost wall to wall) pumps, and then cannot pump any more - of course extra length would always be welcome...
Age 73
Apr-15-14. RP-Pills, Injections No help. VED(almost old size in tube).
Feb-12-16, Dr Cornell, AMS-CX "18+4" LOTS PROBLEMS!
Jul-6-16 Dr Khera ColoPlast "20+1" Very Unhappy with very short length/width but Dr insists correct


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