My ED story (UK)

[siltmonkey]

Week 6 so far.

Week six. Goodness. 5 weeks ago I was certain that time had slowed to an infinitesimal crawl, as if the universe had seen me and thought, 'Aha! There you are! Now I'm going to give you months of pain like you gave to all those people you wronged in your youth, like the cricket team you failed when you dropped that catch.'

Venturing out into the world with a still-semi-permanent erection has become less worrying. Either I'm getting used to it or my wider clothing helps me feel less self-conscious. Happy news though - my dick now 'hangs' at about 5 o'clock. By 'hang' I mean 'stick out a bit rigidly'. This is a big improvement on the 3 o'clock wall bracket I had a few weeks ago.
I still need something on the tip to stop it rubbing. Condoms are the current go-to. Despite having a partner, I put it on secretly, even in the confines of my bedroom, probably because in the deep-rooted shame and anxiety of my head I'm never going to be Billy Big Banana. I can't roll it down because it seems to constrict and make an indentation after a couple of minutes. Not sure that's a good thing so I keep it on the tip. Ironically, this is the first time that a condom has stayed on. It's a strange world sometimes. Of course, a couple of times prancing round the house I've noticed that my condom has come off. Luckily it was still in my joggers, somewhere down by my sock. At least my mother-in-law didn't find it on the stairs on Christmas Day. Might have to pull it down a little bit more next time.

Last night I did my inflate/deflate with no pain. A small victory. I'm at the top of the sine wave here. I like to think the progress trend is a nice diagonal line upwards on a graph, but I know that the sine wave also goes diagonally and there will probably be a low point fairly soon. Probably when I have to go to the trampoline park this weekend. I think perhaps I will participate in the sitting section behind the glass where there are no trampolines.

I am due back at work on January the somethingth. I've been off since November 21st and have no real idea of time other than Christmas Day. I do worry about my clothing but I also worry about other people. I don't really want to answer specific questions because I can't stand lying but I also don't want everyone to know the reason I'm sitting down or keeping my hands in my pockets. 'Penile implant' is not exactly a casual conversation piece and even if it were I reckon I still wear a lot of anxiety on my face a lot of the time. I will also have to be very careful about proximity - I don't want anyone coming too close just in case they brush against it and cause me pain / them surprise. In an ideal world I'd have a large hoop surrounding me with which to fend people off but that would make doors and social situations untenable. I'm thinking I'll go with 'extensive internal reconstructive surgery' and hope that the 'ew' factor will stop most of them in their tracks. Or take a walking stick.

But things are improving little by little. At some point I'd like to re-acquaint myself with underwear. But for now, I have to be content with gazing wistfully into my drawer at the forbidden fruits therein Mmmmm...briefs...boxers...'

[newhope]

hey slit finger crossed for you.

Which implant size they implanted to you? what about your pre-op and post-op size?

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[siltmonkey]

Hi thanks for replying.

I was given a 22cm one. The surgeon said they started with a 20cm but realised they could go larger which I think shows they didn't rush the procedure just to get it done.

I'm afraid I have no idea about pre-op size because I never measured it. I didn't see the point. But looking at it inflated now I think it's pretty spot-on and I am pleased with having something that, for the moment, works. If I had to guess I'd say about 6 inches, perhaps a shade under due to lack of head engorgement. If I remember, I'll measure it when it's inflated but that won't help with a before/after comparison. It seems quite girthy which I think is a good thing but again I have no yardstick to go by. In a week I will hopefully be cleared for 'use' so the most important person will let me know if it 'measures up'!

Do I have to put a signature on the bottom of every post?

[SWorks17]

Hi thanks for replying.

I was given a 22cm one. The surgeon said they started with a 20cm but realised they could go larger which I think shows they didn't rush the procedure just to get it done.

I'm afraid I have no idea about pre-op size because I never measured it. I didn't see the point. But looking at it inflated now I think it's pretty spot-on and I am pleased with having something that, for the moment, works. If I had to guess I'd say about 6 inches, perhaps a shade under due to lack of head engorgement. If I remember, I'll measure it when it's inflated but that won't help with a before/after comparison. It seems quite girthy which I think is a good thing but again I have no yardstick to go by. In a week I will hopefully be cleared for 'use' so the most important person will let me know if it 'measures up'!

Do I have to put a signature on the bottom of every post?

Siltmonkey, you don’t have to make a signature block in your profile settings but it does help your fellow FrankTalk brothers know more about you and how they can help you with questions.
It gives them a base line about your age, size of implant, if you got rear tip extenders etc.
It does have a limit on the amount of characters you can use, but you can tweak it.
Mine includes my age, what date I got my implant, the surgeon, make and model of the implant, the size he installed and a few other details about yourself.
Love your post. Thanks for giving us a view of your journey.
Your Bionic Brother in Texas,
SWorks

[LGXDownunder]

Do I have to put a signature on the bottom of every post?

Hi siltmonkey. I haven't replied until now but I've been enjoying your story and I think you're doing well.
Following on from what SWorks said, no you don't have to manually add the signature block to each post.
Once you create or update it in your profile settings it will automatically appear under each of your posts.

[siltmonkey]

Done it!