My uro said I can't get an implant until my fiance comes into the office.. is this right??

The final frontier. Deciding when, if and how.
Time2Change
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Re: My uro said I can't get an implant until my fiance comes into the office.. is this right??

Postby Time2Change » Thu Sep 25, 2025 3:14 pm

LetoMan wrote:Before we all jump to reporting this doc to the medical board:

I think it’s reasonable for a doc to say that if a man is in a committed relationship, their partner should be part of the discussions. Why? Because that is the best way to make sure that it is a good outcome for the patient. If macoza is having sex with his fiancée, she is absolutely going to know something is different after he gets implanted. It’s not good for him, her, anyone to spring this on her as a surprise. He’s not saying that her consent is required or that she will be informed if he goes ahead with it, he’s saying that the best course of treatment is for both parties in the relationship to understand what is going on and what the implications are prior to getting implanted.

It’s not medical malpractice to say that the course of treatment involves discussion with the partner. If he refuses to bring her in, that’s fine, but the doc using their judgement might refuse to implant as a result if they see that as a red flag for a positive outcome. Whether the doc can do that or not is a technical question in the jurisdiction where the doc is located, but generally speaking docs are not obligated to provide elective treatments particularly if they feel that has the potential to affect the patient in negative ways.

Macoza, if your fiancée has had sex with you previously, it is virtually impossible that she won’t notice afterwards that something has changed dramatically. That is different than the idea that women who have sex with a man for the first time after implantation will largely just assume he is just super hard all the time. That may be the source of your confusion.

My advice is that you discuss implantation with your fiancée and help her get comfortable with the issue, including discussion with the doc.

Be well,
Leto


If by good outcome you mean positive reaction from your partner, then I agree that he probably shouldn't spring this on her.

But if you mean the quality of the physical results of the surgery, I'm going to disagree.

My marriage was so bad at the point when I got my implant that I had almost no support from my wife. She was skeptical of the surgery to begin with, offered no help as I struggled to get approval from the insurance company, had no positive reaction when I told her it was approved, and just dropped me off outside the hospital the morning of the surgery and picked me up the next day outside the hospital.

But I am still very happy with my implant. I didn't have any real problems during my recovery. My doctor has been satisfied with my implant during every yearly follow up appointment we've had.

Overall, I'm going to say that this surgeon is mistaken to refuse to provide the surgical service unless the patient brings in his fiancee.
57; ED for 24+ years; Coloplast Titan implant on 10/26/20; Dr. Martin Gross; Happy to share my experiences in private messages

Courage
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Re: My uro said I can't get an implant until my fiance comes into the office.. is this right??

Postby Courage » Thu Sep 25, 2025 3:22 pm

Reminds me of an old SNL sketch about Viagra.

https://www.tiktok.com/@thealmanac77/vi ... 9041780997
Middle-aged SGM with lifelong ED. AMS 700 CX 21cm + 3.5cm RTEs implanted January 2025 and explanted due to infection February 2025, with salvage. Revision to Coloplast Titan 24cm + 1cm RTE July 2025.

ready2go
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Re: My uro said I can't get an implant until my fiance comes into the office.. is this right??

Postby ready2go » Thu Sep 25, 2025 10:23 pm

macoza wrote:
I skipped injections, as implied by my signature. I feel significantly more pleasure having sex with an implant than I did with pills,


Appreciate this a lot. Right now I'm doing injections and even though I'm responding well to them I feel they're a nuisance and risk. Thats why I'm heavily thinking about getting an implant. But I think the uro won't let me get an implant for the reason that the injections work. What are your thoughts on this?


Injections are unpleasant at best and extremely inconvenient, plus they might cause damage long term ,if they work that long , you want to carry a needle around with you if you expect to have sex other than at your house ?
Dump that pushy uro ,and get a new one ,when they ask if pills or shots work for insurance purposes ,say ;NO! Nothing works anymore .
If you get an ipp ,and your girl some day notices you have bump in your balls , or tubes or whatever . you can say good news, dear , its why my dick stays hard until you can't go anymore . your a lucky girl . You have your own live hard on demand , walking talking dildo .
enjoy !
done deal, every one is happy .
What women on planet earth would be unhappy their man has a dick that can be pumped up and stay erect for as long as she wants to use it ?
none , EXCEPT ,the ones who do want sex and are worried ,that Mr bionic will get it else where
American , retired in the philippines .
tactra malleable 13 mm ,in new delhi India . on april 2024

Discovernew
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Re: My uro said I can't get an implant until my fiance comes into the office.. is this right??

Postby Discovernew » Fri Sep 26, 2025 3:10 pm

macoza wrote:Hi guys..I'm thinking of getting an implant. But something is stopping me from getting one. My uro said that during sex, a woman can tell if I have an implant. But I've read that most women can't tell at all. My uro said that in order for me to get an implant that I'd have to bring in my fiance to the office to tell her. Is this right?


This is so stupid. Who is your doctor?

Imagine if before a woman gets breast implants they would say "you need to bring your boyfriend so he can give you permission" lol.
Implanted October 11, 2024, Dr Karaman. Infla10 AX 20cm +1cm RTE.
My Implant Journal - Click Here

ED about 14 years. Pills worked for 12 years, later worked 50%. Tried almost everything, nothing worked: Shockwave-Testosterone-PRP-Stem Cells-Botox, Etc

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AussieGuy81
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Re: My uro said I can't get an implant until my fiance comes into the office.. is this right??

Postby AussieGuy81 » Fri Sep 26, 2025 6:09 pm

Time2Change wrote:
If by good outcome you mean positive reaction from your partner, then I agree that he probably shouldn't spring this on her.

But if you mean the quality of the physical results of the surgery, I'm going to disagree.

My marriage was so bad at the point when I got my implant that I had almost no support from my wife. She was skeptical of the surgery to begin with, offered no help as I struggled to get approval from the insurance company, had no positive reaction when I told her it was approved, and just dropped me off outside the hospital the morning of the surgery and picked me up the next day outside the hospital.

But I am still very happy with my implant. I didn't have any real problems during my recovery. My doctor has been satisfied with my implant during every yearly follow up appointment we've had.

Overall, I'm going to say that this surgeon is mistaken to refuse to provide the surgical service unless the patient brings in his fiancee.


Wow mate, that's cold from her. Are you still with her?
43, ED since late 20's, Pills on and off since then increasing strengths with inconsistent results. Now 5mg Cialis daily and either 20mg Cialis or 100mg Viagra
Not sure if it's Psychological or Physiological, long-term use of SSRI's probably hasn't helped

ready2go
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Re: My uro said I can't get an implant until my fiance comes into the office.. is this right??

Postby ready2go » Sat Sep 27, 2025 4:11 am

Discovernew wrote:
macoza wrote:Hi guys..I'm thinking of getting an implant. But something is stopping me from getting one. My uro said that during sex, a woman can tell if I have an implant. But I've read that most women can't tell at all. My uro said that in order for me to get an implant that I'd have to bring in my fiance to the office to tell her. Is this right?


This is so stupid. Who is your doctor?

Imagine if before a woman gets breast implants they would say "you need to bring your boyfriend so he can give you permission" lol.


exactly .and the question the op asked was ,is it right for the uro to demand that he bring his women in to ok the implant . And the answer is , hell no !
He is way out of line .
He doesn't need advice from us regarding if he should kowtow to his partner's thoughts on the matter .
the doctor needs to back off . And stay the hell out of people's personal life and decisions . His only job is to perform the implant and do it skillfully
he is not a relationship counselor .
American , retired in the philippines .
tactra malleable 13 mm ,in new delhi India . on april 2024

ready2go
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Joined: Fri Aug 25, 2023 7:47 pm

Re: My uro said I can't get an implant until my fiance comes into the office.. is this right??

Postby ready2go » Sat Sep 27, 2025 4:15 am

The answer from a online search
"It is ...not ethical.... for a doctor to demand a patient bring their fiancee to a consultation for a penile implant by refusing treatment if they don't, as it violates the patient's autonomy and confidentiality rights.

What his uro demand is UNETHICAL
it is not ok .
American , retired in the philippines .
tactra malleable 13 mm ,in new delhi India . on april 2024

QuestionGuy
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Re: My uro said I can't get an implant until my fiance comes into the office.. is this right??

Postby QuestionGuy » Sat Sep 27, 2025 4:25 pm

I have not read all the responses, but I have experience in several areas here.

Detectability: I have been with hundreds of women, and my experience is that less than one percent are so "grabby" that they would detect the blub or any other apparatus. The overwhelming majority of women choose to be pretty passive. If she were a urologist, or "suspected" you had an implant, she could figure it out.... but the majority will not.

Injectables: anyone who jumps straight to the implant without trying injectables first is making a mistake. The implant is not akin to a toupee or contact lenses....it's more like a coloscopy bag. it is a device permanently implanted in your body and it's not "nothing". If you're at a time in your life when you are a major casanova, and sex is the main thing in your life...then this could be worth the overhead....but if you only have sex "now and then" or go long stretches of time with no sex (for whatever reason) then you need to weigh the costs and benefits carefully.

Involving the sex partner: After I was implanted i counseled alot of men considering the surgery at the request of my doctor. I was very disturbed by the number of them who were actively including their partners in the process. This is a big big deal. it's a major life decision, and something of a "one way street" . It is my opinion that you need to clear your mind, search your soul, and not distract yourself with the opinions and thoughts of your "current" partner. YOU ARE THE ONE BEING SURGICALY ALTERED!

I could elaborate if anyone's interested.....and i know that many of the other people on this thread disagree with me....but this is one man's opinion.
Age 63. PostFinasterideSyndrome/Peyronies

BIMIX - TRIMIX- Coloplast Titan

ready2go
Posts: 777
Joined: Fri Aug 25, 2023 7:47 pm

Re: My uro said I can't get an implant until my fiance comes into the office.. is this right??

Postby ready2go » Sat Sep 27, 2025 11:01 pm

QuestionGuy wrote:I have not read all the responses, but I have experience in several areas here.

Detectability: I have been with hundreds of women, and my experience is that less than one percent are so "grabby" that they would detect the blub or any other apparatus. The overwhelming majority of women choose to be pretty passive. If she were a urologist, or "suspected" you had an implant, she could figure it out.... but the majority will not.

Injectables: anyone who jumps straight to the implant without trying injectables first is making a mistake. The implant is not akin to a toupee or contact lenses....it's more like a coloscopy bag. it is a device permanently implanted in your body and it's not "nothing". If you're at a time in your life when you are a major casanova, and sex is the main thing in your life...then this could be worth the overhead....but if you only have sex "now and then" or go long stretches of time with no sex (for whatever reason) then you need to weigh the costs and benefits carefully.

Involving the sex partner: After I was implanted i counseled alot of men considering the surgery at the request of my doctor. I was very disturbed by the number of them who were actively including their partners in the process. This is a big big deal. it's a major life decision, and something of a "one way street" . It is my opinion that you need to clear your mind, search your soul, and not distract yourself with the opinions and thoughts of your "current" partner. YOU ARE THE ONE BEING SURGICALY ALTERED!

I could elaborate if anyone's interested.....and i know that many of the other people on this thread disagree with me....but this is one man's opinion.



the question the op asked is if the doctor has the right to deny the implant if the patient did not bring in his partner .
the answer is no .
then other members chimed in that , she might feel it later and blah blah .
the question of the op "My uro said that in order for me to get an implant that I'd have to bring in my fiance to the office to tell her. Is this right?"

it is not right .it is not the doctors place to dictate to a patient on how to conduct his private personal life , its is not in his professions' role to be concerned if the patients partner can feel the implant . or any part of his personal life .
it is unethical
the uros one and only concern is to do a skilled job implanting the device , not on who he will use it with or if , or if the partners know he has an implant or not .

ethics on a doctor refusing a operation ,when a spouse is not informed ;

No, a doctor generally does not have the right to deny an operation solely because a patient hasn't informed their spouse, as patient autonomy and informed consent are paramount.
American , retired in the philippines .
tactra malleable 13 mm ,in new delhi India . on april 2024

ready2go
Posts: 777
Joined: Fri Aug 25, 2023 7:47 pm

Re: My uro said I can't get an implant until my fiance comes into the office.. is this right??

Postby ready2go » Sun Sep 28, 2025 9:39 pm

macoza wrote:
ready2go wrote: Injections are unpleasant at best and extremely inconvenient, plus they might cause damage long term


Thank you for the details. I'm very sick of using injections. I injected 5 days ago and although it worked when i injected today it failed.

If you get an ipp ,and your girl some day notices you have bump in your balls
[/quote]

I'm very confused now.. What do you mean by this??? Are you saying she'll notice a bump in my testicles??[/quote]

the bump would be the pump they put in your balls .
but your original question of if its right or your ero to demand he see your partner is out of line , he broke the ethics of a doctor -patient trust .
a person's medical history is not allowed to be shared and definitely not allowed for a doctor to coerce a patient to share it with anyone .
that is a strange thing for a doctor to demand .
American , retired in the philippines .
tactra malleable 13 mm ,in new delhi India . on april 2024


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