Latane wrote:Hello . Am a 57 year old gay Male in Dublin Ireland... I had a partner for 25 years and it was not an issue because I felt really good with my partner . Unfortunately he died 8 years ago as a result of radiotherapy having been tested for a stage 1 cancer . It should not have happened as a clot developed in his leg and killed him before my eyes in a couple of minutes... If anybody would like to communicate I would be very grateful . Very alone with all this here Gay or straight doesn’t matter... And the silence is the worst - as if one should never even dare bring it up... No pun intended. Many thanks for reading . Noel
Hi Noel ~
I am so very sorry for all you've gone through and are currently going through. But I'm also very glad you reached out and posted. If I were only allowed one sentence, I'd tell you, "You're not alone... I understand more than you realize." For starters, I'm also gay, and have an Irish heritage. With a name like Colin, I couldn't deny it if I tried! (And my husband is James Patrick!)
When I read your words about your former partner, they absolutely went through me. I am so, so sorry, Noel. My husband (Jim) went through Hodgkin's Lymphoma in 2008-09. As a result of one component in his first chemo infusion, his lungs were destroyed. Three years ago he ended up on a ventilator, in an induced coma for 14 days. Amazingly, they got him off the vent and out of the coma, but this "Bleomycin-induced Lung Damage" is constantly progressing. He's on oxygen 24/7 and "Quality of Life" is an oxymoron for him.
I don't need to elaborate on that anymore really. Most of the guys reading this have heard it. But I wanted you to know that "I get it" and my heart goes out to you.
On the subject of ED, I was diagnosed with venous leakage in my 30's. I've done the Viagra and Cialis route; then Caverject or Edex injections for a few years. Alternating with injection days my urologist had me using a pump and cock rings. But eventually those all stopped working for me but like you, my lack of an erection wasn't an issue between Jim and me. But he really hated seeing me missing out on that part of our sex life. When all those ran their courses of effectiveness, my urologist/surgeon pretty much said an implant would be my best option... and he was right. My AMS 700 LGX became a part of me in April of 2015.
That's all for now. Again, I really wanted you to know you're not alone. I'm glad you found the group. If I can help anymore, just say the word!
Hugs ~
Colin