considering89 wrote:Lost Sheep wrote:What does she know about your erectile difficulty? How knowledgeable and open-minded is she about sexual functions (physiology, alternative sex practices, etc.) ? Have you already been using other methods of erectile aids/treatments or had conversations with her about this?
I believe she is open minded. She is aware that I'm using pills and she is fine with that. She's actually very supportive and encouraging to me to use the pills if it helps our sex life. She herself had a breast reduction a few years ago for her own self confidence - obviously different than an implant, but she is familiar with the idea of getting medical work done to improve one's self esteem. She also wants to get a boob job done after having children.
Since she already knows you use/need assistance to have sex, the conversation is, essentially, already begun. So, your original post is a bit redundant, but understandable that you are reticent about opening up a formal conversation about the "nuclear option".
Some issues to be concerned about are that the operation renders the patient permanently impotent (though it is important to note, leaves his fertility intact). That is, without the implant you will never achieve an erection. Pills, vacuum erection devices (with constriction rings), penile suppositories, injections are all non-invasive and reversible. Other less-invasive operations (though success rates are debatable) are less destructive as well.
From what I gather, I recommend you research all the possible solutions to that you will be able to discuss them with confidence and accuracy. (Read through old posts here and discuss with your urologist - even if you have to get a referral to an additional urologist who specializes in sexual function.) Armed with sufficient depth of knowledge you will be ready to take the next step with her...talking about the pantheon of treatments beyond pills, including the one that is radical, but has a high success rate. If she is as open-minded and sexually interested as you testified, opening the conversation will be easy. (If it is not easy, I opine you two are not quite ready for marriage yet. Note that practice at opening uncomfortable conversations does help to make a couple ready for marriage - communication ease takes practice.)
Oh. Before you go there. Are you sure you are ready for an implant? It is expensive, carries some risk, is invasive, painful/uncomfortable for a couple weeks and does render you impotent for life (though does not affect fertility). I believe no man should take an implant if less-invasive treatments still allow satisfactory sex (even non-coital sex can be satisfactory for couples). But if you are unable to function satisfactorily, waiting has very little upside. Are you in the position that you HAVE TO HAVE an implant?
