My 12 days of Christmas have started

[oneperson]

I am going to answer your question, having in mind I am 3 months after implant and because a bunch of reasons that you can find if you read my messages I still haven't made use of it.

First point, there is nothing stupid in your messages.

Anxiety is the usual feeling. You will feel it before surgery and after, during your healing process. You will find yourself asking things like 'Am I healing properly? Am I doing the things in the correct manner? Will I be damaging myself doing 'whatever (walk, sit, stand up). Is the normal process.

For sure, you were be able to satisfy your wife. What I cannot tell you is if you will need 6 weeks or one year, but you will do. Sure as the air you breath.
If you have not been good satisfying because your ED, be ready to be able to perform as never: once you are completely healed, you will be able to be hard as a rock all the time you want, even after cum (something that 'normal' and young and healthy men cannot even dream about).

Your performance won't be adequate, will be much better than adequate. Have in mind that you will be able to keep an erection for hours without losing a mg of pressure in hardness. Nobody without an implant can do that. So you will perform better than the best not implanted performer,

Keep as much calmed as you can. I know it is easier to say than to do, but you have to try.

[Waynetho]

I think what I’m feeling is performance anxiety.

I’ve had ED so damned long and so little has been expected of me sexually that now that I have finally gotten to the point where an implant is going to basically make me whole, I’m worried that I won’t be able to please my wife.

I know historically that I’m real good at not pleasing. But with a dick that leaks blood out faster than the arteries can pump it in you have a pretty good excuse. But once I’m properly equipped, how will I do? It’s almost like the mixed feelings before your first time. Your dying to do the deed but wonder how well you will do it. Will your performance be adequate?

My first (and so far only) time with my wife since being cleared for sex, was more like I was rearranging the furniture or directing the construction of a house or something. Since my wife is obese and I've got 5" (generously speaking) minus a 1" fat-pad over the top, it was a bit of, "what do we do next, how do you want to have it, which position will work best?" It was awkward, it was not romantic, it wasn't even sexy. It was two inexperienced people who had been out of circulation for over 20 years, stumbling over themselves trying to find the right angle for a hookup.

It will get better and we'll get in a groove that works for us, but just like your performance anxiety, we have and had it too. Just remember it gets better with practice.

[David_R]

Guys just remember it takes time after the surgery to get to your new normal.

So very, very true.

[merrix]

I’m a Texas Aggie class of ‘78 and have spent my adult life in the oilfield or Army. I’m fond of saying there are no stupid questions, just stupid people. So forgive me in advance if what I’m about to say is really, really stupid.

I think what I’m feeling is performance anxiety.

I’ve had ED so damned long and so little has been expected of me sexually that now that I have finally gotten to the point where an implant is going to basically make me whole, I’m worried that I won’t be able to please my wife.

I know historically that I’m real good at not pleasing. But with a dick that leaks blood out faster than the arteries can pump it in you have a pretty good excuse. But once I’m properly equipped, how will I do? It’s almost like the mixed feelings before your first time. Your dying to do the deed but wonder how well you will do it. Will your performance be adequate?

My mind right now is like a bunch of caged rats. But this much is certain: I’m not afraid of the surgery. I’ll walk in, get it done, and see what happens. Yes I’ll try to be patient afterwards although that’s not my strong suit.

To Cajun Jeff: hated the LSU-A&M game. But real proud of your QB and his Heisman and hoping your guys go all the way. I’m married to a Louisiana woman so obviously nothing really scares me.

P

I was a bit younger than you when getting my implant, buy hey, do I recognize myself in a lot of what you say...
I, like you, had ED forever as well. Since I was a teen. And like you, I didn't really know whether something was wrong with me or not till later.
And like you, I had sex fast and furiously to keep it hard and avoid failure.
And - again like you - this was the way it was, and nothing more than that was expected of me by my wife.
If you bother, skim through my thread here (viewtopic.php?f=6&t=6010).
You will notice that I often come back to the mental challenges of suddenly being equipped with a world class dick. At least when it comes to hardness and stamina.
It is one thing putting it to good use immediately when one has been "normal" for the majority of the sexual carreer. But when, like you and me, having been sexually handicapped forever and never having done anything else than pumping furiously in and out for 5 minutes every time, one now all of a sudden must learn to take it easy and make good use of it - that's a more challenging beast.

Same thing for my wife actually. She has been used to adjust to my ED for as long as we have been together. No surprise seduction in the car, daytime, morning etc. Because she simply knew it wouldn't work if I hadn't taken my pill.
And once having sex, she knew that changing positions was a bad idea, and good sex for her was making sure I came fast to keep it up.

So she has had a lot of adjusting to do as well.

But you knwo what? It'll happen. And when it does, man, I tell you, it is great.
As everyone will say, being able to have sex without worrying about the dick going soft is just fucking great.
And in some weird way, maybe a man with our ED history will enjoy it even more.
If your dick would have worked perfectly for the most of your life, and then you got prostate cancer and all of a sudden it didn't, then an implant would for sure be a way back. But it would always feel like option B. Like a synthetic, not as good as the original replacement dick.
But for you and me...
It is an upgrade to our dicks even when they were at their best.
Our dicks have never came close to being as good as what we will have with the implant.
Trust me. It is going to be heaven.

Take care and good luck.

[Lost Sheep]

(edited for focus)
Why is a simple medical procedure affecting me so?

Not so simple a medical procedure. It is life-changing on a body part that is a major element in many a man's self-image.

Accept your anxiety. It is also a part of you.

(edited for focus)
My wife and I discussed doing this. The ED had made sex pretty much a train wreck over time even with shots and pills. She said, basically, git r done...so I’m cautiously optimistic. But I’m doing this for me and if it helps with wife great, if it does nothing except provide me an erection I use by myself I’m ok with that too. This is all about restoring me to something a lot closer to normal than I have ever been.

It is VERY good that you and your wife can be open with each other about sex. Women are incredibly supportive if they themselves feel trusted, respected, cared for and safe. Congratulations to you and to your wife.

(edited for focus)
That’s going to change. In twelve days. Why am I worrying?

When I had my implant, I was concerned about my ability to "perform". Not in the way I used to be concerned. Before implant, my concern was about the erection. As the post-implant "first encounter" approached, I was concerned if I would be able to direct my now perfectly erect penis in the manner to which I was now UNaccustomed. That is, when I was a young man and satisfactorily virile and potent, I could fuck "properly". Rub my penis against her belly, guide my penis into her vagina and stroke, etc. All that. But after years of not being able to do that, this was worse than when I was a virgin with no practical knowledge. I KNEW I SHOULD know what I was doing, but also knew that I had no idea WHAT I HAD FORGOTTEN.

It took me a couple of months (and a new partner) to get confidence in my performance.

But that's just me. I expect you will do better. In any event, buck up! With the help, cooperation and support of your wife, the two of you will figure it out. And even if it is not exactly the same as before (your angle and size may be different), you will figure out the geometry of positioning in no time. And, believe me, the figuring out is a LOT of fun!.

My lover and I are going through sex manuals and web sites like a smorgasbord, picking out interesting positions to try. Some work. Some don't. But trying out multiple positions is something I have NEVER been able to before and that is one of the GREAT things about an erection that I KNOW will not collapse when we change positions!!! I had not thought of that benefit of an implant before, but it is one of the things that I like best about it.

Why worry? Some people are built that way. If you are one of those, embrace it or discard it. Your reactions to life's situations are within your ability to control.

(edited for focus)
I’ll be ok. Just needed to vent a bit. Glad this place exists.

Venting, sharing, paying forward or paying back. I have had my implant two years and stay on the site to help and to continue to learn.

[Jack317]

Definitely feel you brother. I am up tomorrow I report to the hospital at 12:30 pm. My fears are similar to yours. It looks pretty small will the size be OK?, what if I get an infection?, what if something goes wrong and I die .... it runs the gamut. In the last month since I decided to do it I have had a few panicked moments of "damn should I be doing this?" but as soon as that thought hits me I push it away with a thought and vision of actually having a working dick again and I get excited as hell. I am tired of looking down at a little nub capable only of dispensing urine (and dripping on my balls) and want to feel whole again. I am in a long distance "relationship" so I don't even know how long I will have to wait to test it (although I will go to whatever measures it takes I am not going too long without banging a chick} but just being able to walk around knowing I can perform anytime anywhere is a feeling I know I will relish and will give me confidence. I think another thing that has me a little nervous is I haven't told anyone what I am doing my daughter thinks I have a hernia type simple surgery. You have a wife and she sounds like a fantastic support system. That is a bonus.

Life is unknown and fear of getting cut in the area we are causes trepidation to any man, I doubt I will sleep much tonight. But the reward is way worth the risk to me and I wish I did this years ago. I had a non nerve sparing prostatectomy in 2013 and haven't had a normal erection since, so it is way overdue. Thanks for posting what a lot of us are probably feeling and here's to swapping "war" stories in the future. Agree totally also that this forum is a godsend.

[Txagq8]

I think another thing that has me a little nervous is I haven't told anyone what I am doing my daughter thinks I have a hernia type simple surgery. You have a wife and she sounds like a fantastic support system. That is a bonus.

.

Well, yeah, if she knew . LOL. Here’s what happened.

I saw my urologist and the guy who does the implant surgery at Scott and White in Temple, Texas in November. Bottom line out of visit was I was a really good candidate for surgery....physically fit, non smoker, non drinker, young acting and appearing guy in his 60s. Historically I heal fast and other than self induced sports injuries and mild hypertension I have no real health issues.

So the ball was in my court to set a date. I talked about it with wife, who said do it. I called to set a date.....after my hernia on the 17th but before New Year since I’ve paid my max for health care this year.

No luck. Surgeon on vacation. Try January 22.

So in order to not make a big deal about things I tell wife late January. In the meantime I look at the list and find a high volume surgeon in Austin. He is usually booked out a ways but they had s cancellation for a consult. I sent him s mails with copies of a bunch of my medical records. I go to consult. He agrees that installing me is long overdue and can do it Dec 31st. Wife and daughter leaving on long planned trip Dec 28th. Won’t be back until January 5th.

Got a buddy to agree to dtive me to hospital and back. Found a kid to keep my dogs and feed the cattle. I’ll be 5 days post surgery when wife gets home.

About the time I get to the “you can start using it date” we will be headed to the Cayman Islands. Won’t she be surprised when I present her with something unexpected without benefit of shots, pills, vacuum devices, or cock rings? I’m more interested in what a half filled implant will look like at the airport on a naked security scanner. I guess I could tell them I’m Jonah falcon’s brother.

Yes, I have some support at home. But the cards have fallen to where I can keep this as sort of a surprise. If I have to, the cover story is my urologist wanted to biopsy a cyst somewhere. Too bad I already used up the hernia excuse on a hernia last week.

[Cajun Jeff]

Awesome sounds like a great plan! Best of luck. Do keep us posted. Im going in on Jan 13 for mine.

[Jack317]

I think another thing that has me a little nervous is I haven't told anyone what I am doing my daughter thinks I have a hernia type simple surgery. You have a wife and she sounds like a fantastic support system. That is a bonus.

.

Well, yeah, if she knew . LOL. Here’s what happened.

I saw my urologist and the guy who does the implant surgery at Scott and White in Temple, Texas in November. Bottom line out of visit was I was a really good candidate for surgery....physically fit, non smoker, non drinker, young acting and appearing guy in his 60s. Historically I heal fast and other than self induced sports injuries and mild hypertension I have no real health issues.

So the ball was in my court to set a date. I talked about it with wife, who said do it. I called to set a date.....after my hernia on the 17th but before New Year since I’ve paid my max for health care this year.

No luck. Surgeon on vacation. Try January 22.

So in order to not make a big deal about things I tell wife late January. In the meantime I look at the list and find a high volume surgeon in Austin. He is usually booked out a ways but they had s cancellation for a consult. I sent him s mails with copies of a bunch of my medical records. I go to consult. He agrees that installing me is long overdue and can do it Dec 31st. Wife and daughter leaving on long planned trip Dec 28th. Won’t be back until January 5th.

Got a buddy to agree to dtive me to hospital and back. Found a kid to keep my dogs and feed the cattle. I’ll be 5 days post surgery when wife gets home.

About the time I get to the “you can start using it date” we will be headed to the Cayman Islands. Won’t she be surprised when I present her with something unexpected without benefit of shots, pills, vacuum devices, or cock rings? I’m more interested in what a half filled implant will look like at the airport on a naked security scanner. I guess I could tell them I’m Jonah falcon’s brother.

Yes, I have some support at home. But the cards have fallen to where I can keep this as sort of a surprise. If I have to, the cover story is my urologist wanted to biopsy a cyst somewhere. Too bad I already used up the hernia excuse on a hernia last week.

Wow that is awesome. I am similar to you I am 60 and an athletic non drinker, non smoker. The only difference is I found my surgeon through a FB group that was talking implants. He had done another couple guys here and both had great results. I am not even thinking about backing out but yea wish I had made sure he was a high volume guy. For some reason I never asked him at the first meeting. He does have impeccable credentials and training and the guy who referred him to me said he has done a lot of them.

What a nice surprise for your wife. I haven't determined who my first "victim" will be. But whoever she is she better be ready for a hell of a workout.

[oatmealkid]

My only fear is that they'll tell me I'm not a safe candidate for surgery.

I can't even get an appointment to see a golmogging urologist - so any of you who have jeebies I'll gladly take your appointment for you.

You lucky ----------s