Injection more feasible than implant for a young man ?

[Hoping]

First time poster on anything on this site, I replied but not sure if it went through as I don't see it, trying again
Hi guys,

Also note: Forgot to say, I've done about 150 injections or something like that, not really sure
I'm a 27 year old male so figured I should share my experience. I've just recently accepted the route of getting a penile implant after trying injections for a few years and I believe its a better choice although definitely scary as hell.

A little backstory to my condition, I'm sure I'll write more in a diary type setting. But I had an injury to my penis that left me with venous leak when I was not quite 20 years old. It messed me up so much psychologically that I dropped out of school, hated myself (still do), this led to me becoming a hermit, doing nothing productive in life, wasting years of my life, working out so hard that I hurt many other areas of my body, which pushed me further into depression. Summary: hated myself, no confidence, extreme depression, there hasn't been a day that's passed since the incident where I haven't thought about suicide. I tried having sex with a low dose of Cialis a few months after it happened and was nowhere near hard enough, which was embarrassing of course. So then I went into exile from all things life for about 3 or 4 years hoping things would get better or there would be some type of cure if I waited. Nothing ever came to be so then I started going back to see a couple urologists. I had ordered some Viagra online and that worked for a little while but I was taking pretty high doses and then doses that weren't recommended and could actually harm me so then I went the injection route. I've been on injections for about 3 years now and am done doing them, it isn't a solution in my opinion, it's just led to more depression and problems because of the relationship attempts that I tried. I've tried dating girls where I have told them pretty upfront after I got to know them after a date or two and that I have ED and need to take medication (I think I told it was 5 girls). 3 dumped me instantly (and they assumed it was just pills), 1 I actually told it was injections then got dumped and the last one I just didn't want to go through the trouble of injecting myself as it hurts, is tricky and I wasn't all that much attracted to her.

Injections: I've been in a few relationships (all were short, like a month or two), mainly because in my opinion I could never really be ready whenever if the mood was right. I would get the girl all excited pretty much, it would be late so we'd be in bed and i figured would PROBABLY have sex so I'd sneak off to the bathroom where I had my injection medication hidden and on ice because it has to be refrigerated. Try to guess how much I'd need (One thing if you do injections you know this, if the temperature is off on it where it's too hot it doesn't work as good and is unpredictable, the older it gets the weaker it gets so it is also unpredictable from that). So then I would sneak back to bed after pretty much being gone for 5-10 minutes injecting myself then going back hoping my girlfriend would still be in the mood. Sometimes the mood was completely shut down, so I injected myself for nothing and now had an ultra rare erection and wasn't even going to have sex. Other times I would screw the dosage up and I wound up with a few priapisms (which after about 2 hours your penis will start to hurt, which landed me in the emergency room a couple times), other times I would give myself up to 20% more than what I injected just a week earlier and the temp or expiration would be off and I couldn't get hard enough for sex. And realizing the very real danger of another priapism I would just have to try and make an excuse to not have sex even though the girl would really want it. (This absolutely killed me inside)

Now: Leading up to where I'm currently at. I actually hadn't tried dating for about 6 months or so and have been focusing on trying to do productive things in my life and focusing on school as I'm back in currently. I hadn't really considered the implant until just a few weeks ago. I have been waiting for years for a cure, the sad truth is don't wait for it, it isn't likely to come for many years, we could all be dead before it gets here who knows. In my mind I just figured if I would date a girl, I would keep it short term so I wouldn't tell her about the injections because the one time I did it ended horribly. Then I met someone truly special to me, a girl from class just kinda landed on my lap when she chose to sit by me one day. We became friends, we always talked I would lend her a lot of my stuff and I know she would purposely leave things at home so she could borrow some of my stuff to show interest in me. Secretly, I was mad crazy about her. She was all I could think about all semester long. Then I asked her on a date but kept it somewhat friend like because I wasn't sure yet if she was actually in to me or if I was friendzoned (because she is/was very hot). While on the date I progressed things pretty slowly throughout (because we are classmates and I have to use injection medication which I didn't bring with me, thinking i wasn't even sure if it was a date or not). On the date she told me that not only did she have a crush on me this semester, but actually all of last semester (we didn't sit by each other and I never talked to her so nothing happened in the fall). Then things escalated, holding hands, cuddling, which turned into kissing each other all over, I could tell things were really heating up, like sex heating up, so I said "not on the first date" meaning no sex on the first date. I actually said it maybe a couple times more and just more emphasized no sex on the first date. But she was mad crazy about me, it was just her and I in her room and she had been waiting like 7 months for this moment with me. While we were fully clothed, making out like crazy, she started grinding her pussy directly on my abs trying to get off, the most I did was grab her ass and help her grind on me. I knew from past experiences if I go to eat her out, finger her or the clothes start coming off it would only end in one way which was sex. (If I didn't have ED okay great but I didn't want her to try getting me hard, touching my completely limp dick, because without injection medication there is simply no way because of the injury) So I didn't pursue further which absolutely fucking killed me doing. She was disappointed and very sad, heartbroken. Then shortly after I think she bad date bailed me out with the help of her roommates. The very next day she stopped talking to me. But because of that sexual situation and me not being ready she has completely moved on from me and things in class are extremely awkward. With the implant I know we would be extremely close right now if I had it, but now there is nothing but awkwardness and resentment towards each other.

Recap: I lost the girl of my life that quickly because i had no way of being ready, numerous occasions like this have occurred to me over the years but this one has nearly pushed me to suicide. She was crazy about me for a long time, I was crazy about her for a long time, i could have seen us getting married and having kids and living happily ever after but because I can only use injections none of this was possible. It's nearly impossible to fall in love when you're sneaking off to the bathroom, have little confidence and have to put up a sexual wall to stop before they find out you have bad ED. Life sometimes just doesn't wait for you to go inject yourself or to put off sex when your date or new girlfriend wants it extremely bad. I've lost pretty much all of the girls I've dated because of this. Women need to be gradually worked up and disappearing for 5-10 is very hard to do, and once you inject yourself you have to wait a good day to do it again. You also can sometimes struggle to stop the bleeding or end up with bruises. You also only have about an hour window every day to have sex. It's very sad that it took the girl of my dreams grinding like crazy on me madly into me for me to wake up to getting an implant. Don't be like me, a few weeks ago I had my suicide letter written and had a pistol to my temple. But then I decided I would do one last try, one last thing, talk to a doctor about an implant. Although scary as hell, my life dealing with relationships and injections is already hell, believe me. I've left myself with 2 options: Either I shoot myself or I get the implant. (That's how shitty injections are for relationships from my dealings with them) So, I saw a doctor who was really nice and does 200-300 per year actually and am getting surgery June 4th. In the end it's your choice but believe me, injections are a pretty terrible way.

If anyone has questions about my situation just let me know. Maybe we can all be in this together and climb out of hell. I might even do a diary of my situation in more detail on a post or right about my surgery experience.

There's only one way in my mind and that's surgery. I'm willing to give life with an implant a chance and maybe i'll end up loving it like I've been reading about some guys on this site. Thanks guys I wish you all nothing but the best and I'm sorry you are in this boat with me.

[Tmansdorfer]

Hoping ,
I know exactly the pain and hopelessness you are feeling. I experienced many of the same things you describe. Don’t give up hope. While my first implant surgery did not turn out perfect i am hopeful that the revision will fix my issues. Getting an implant will change your outlook on how you see yourself. I know for me I didn’t feel like a man and lacked any sort of confidence when it came to talking to woman. It may sound cliche as hard to believe but you are more than your penis and the Ed. I know you are still young and at a different stage in your life than me but what gets me through the tough times is thinking about my daughter and being a good father. If you want to chat more send me a PM.