New Member Question

[AlmostFifty]

I’m 49 and I am considering having 3 piece implant procedure from a high volume surgeon. I have taken sildenafil with varying degrees of success over the past several years. My sex life with my wife is nonexistent… I can jack it to porn fairly normally but if I stop I lose my erection quickly. Sex is full of stress for me and I am not sure how much of this is in my head. Kaiser will not order me the penile ultrasound to verify veinous leakage as they tell me the options are shots or prosthesis.

If I wasn’t married I don’t know that I would go through with this at 49…. My wife is 8 years younger than me…

Anyway… if any of you have been in a similar place and gone through with the implant I would love to hear your experience and if you think this would be a positive next step for me or if I am missing something…

Thankful for this community chat!

[Kimball]

I’m 49 and I am considering having 3 piece implant procedure from a high volume surgeon. I have taken sildenafil with varying degrees of success over the past several years. My sex life with my wife is nonexistent… I can jack it to porn fairly normally but if I stop I lose my erection quickly. Sex is full of stress for me and I am not sure how much of this is in my head. Kaiser will not order me the penile ultrasound to verify veinous leakage as they tell me the options are shots or prosthesis.

If I wasn’t married I don’t know that I would go through with this at 49…. My wife is 8 years younger than me…

Anyway… if any of you have been in a similar place and gone through with the implant I would love to hear your experience and if you think this would be a positive next step for me or if I am missing something…

Thankful for this community chat!

No, I have not had an implant and yes, you are missing something if you have not tried a tension band to keep your erection from going soft.

[Flounder]

I’m 49…….
My sex life with my wife is nonexistent…
Sex is full of stress for me and I am not sure how much of this is in my head…..
If I wasn’t married I don’t know that I would go through with this at 49…. My wife is 8 years younger than me…
Anyway… if any of you have been in a similar place and gone through with the implant I would love to hear your experience and if you think this would be a positive next step for me or if I am missing something…

I have no experience with Kaiser healthcare so I’ll only comment on the points I carved out above from your full post.

I was at a similar place as you are now although later in life. I had pretty good erections up to the night before prostrate cancer surgery at age 58. I wasted a decade of good sex fighting a loosing battle with ED. I tried all kinds of pills and then mono mix to quad mix injections. There were periods of time when I got on a cocktail that worked - until it didn’t. I got my first implant at age 68 and by far I wasn’t the oldest FT member to get an implant. My biggest regret is that I didn’t get it asap following the prostrate surgery.

So in my opinion, age 49 is a far too young to settle for a sexless marriage or give up the ability to have satisfying sex. Especially with a 41 yrs young wife. Multiple studies suggest the best, most satisfying sex and orgasm frequency for women occurs in their late 30s and 40s. And for us men suffering with ED, it’s humiliating and depressing, at any age, being the weakest link in the bedroom and not able to satisfy a woman.

The mantra here on FT has long been; Get the implant for yourself. For your own confidence and self esteem. Hopefully your wife will benefit and it rejuvenates a spark in the marriage. And it’s not wrong to get it for the team. But if ED is getting in your head, you first owe it to yourself to get rid that.

Maybe you don’t go straight to the implant. Injections are a reasonable middle step when PDE5 pills stop working. Just don’t do nothing because ED never gets better on its own. It just keeps wearing you down mentally. And in my experience, no good ever comes from that.

[LetoMan]

I have a lot of similarities with you. Two years ago, when I was 49, I was about to leave a sexless marriage. Convinced I might not find someone again, I set out to fix my ED. I bought every flavor of pill, got a VED, a Phoenix, whatever it took.

Then I found this site. I had never really considered an implant before I found this site.

A few weeks later, I got a referral to see a Kaiser urologist in NorCal that did implants. I told him my story. He half heartedly tried to convince me to try injections, but I convinced him I was ready to get an implant and wanted the spontaneity and confidence it offered. We set a surgery date for a few weeks after that, May 21.

After two months of recovery, I had sex for the first time in probably 6 years. The girl liked it so much she invited her friend to join us another time. I’ve been seeing the friend off and on when I go through her city for the past two years.

I finally became the guy I always wanted to be. In the past two years I’ve slept with over a hundred women, with my confidence through the roof.

I’m now a little more selective, I have a few girls that I see regularly depending on where I am traveling. They all love to get fucked until they have cum over and over. None of them knows I have an implant.

As my two year anniversary comes up this week, I think of it as my reborn day. I was reborn two years ago.

I’d give it some serious consideration.

Be well,
Leto

[Colby-jack__]

Pretty much the same as Leto.
Im 9 months post op.
I struggled for 20 years.
I was first prescribed viagra and cialis when I was 32. Im 52 now. At 32 it was more for support. To enhance sex but over time I needed it and eventually it stopped working. I found trimix and that worked most of the time until it didnt.
I dont know which came first but the anxiety I felt around sex was eventually enough to kill any erection I might get and I had nothing but failed or barely successful sexual experiences no matter what combo of meds I mixed together.
I was starting to worry all of these meds weren't good for me and id eventually pay a price.

A year ago I learned about IPP and quickly found dr Taj and got approval from my insurance.
9 months ago (8/26) I got my implant and about 3.5 weeks later I had anxiety free, drug free, apology free sex with my wife. It was the first time in 20 years.

It was also the first time in 20 years that it wasn't about my performance and my anxiety and it became about us. Connecting. Enjoying. Not worrying.

Since the IPP my sex life and my marriage have improved in ways I thought were not possible.

Strange twist: before surgery we always had sex at night. After a few drinks (to calm the nerves?) And after the kids were fast asleep.

Now were almost always sober and saturday morning is our favorite time. Sober morning sex was literally unheard of before that.

This has 100% changed my outlook on life. My confidence is restored and I no longer feel hopeless.

Im very biased but my only advice is: dont give up. Don't accept that satisfying sex is not for you. Honestly just because the other 10 things you've tried didnt work or only worked for a while doesnt mean this wont (I kind of thought it did because thats what had always happened before).

Like my bio says, I tried viagra, cialis, Levitra (generic, indian internet and dr prescribed). I also tried VED, cockrings, gainswave, and PRP, bimix, trimix and quadmix.

Good luck.

[Old Guy]

Yep, with a younger wife who was just reaching peak years having ED made me try many things. From online men's sexual enhancement pills, rings and pumps, Viagra to Trimix and Quadmix injections, nothing worked for very long. When I learned about implants I started looking for doctors in my area that did them. Even though my recovery was tough, the reward was well worth it. If you're considering it, do it sooner than later.

[1sfman]

You are much younger than me, but I can tell you I wasted several years thinking and hoping pills, VED, and finally shots would turn things around. They didn't. That's not to say they aren't worth trying. Viagra first, then Cialis worked for awhile. Then Cialis started misfiring for me. I made excuses (tired, stressed out, etc.) and kept thinking the next time would be better. It wasn't. Tried VED but hated the damn cock ring.

Next came the shots, first Trimix. Start at 20 units, if that doesn't work, try 25 units. I did that all the way up to 50 units (or 0.5 mL). Wasted time ramping up as every next 5 units failed like the last time. Then the doctor put me on Quadmix. Same as before, wasted time. Going up ever so slowly to avoid priapism. All this was over a 5 year period and my sex life with my wife just deteriorated. It was so discouraging that our attempts at sex became less and less and frequency became measured not in days or even weeks, but in months.

From your description, pills are a failure. Shots might be an option, and might work for you if you can handle a needle in your dick (not that bad, but I did have to take a few deep breaths before I stuck myself). However, long term use can cause scar tissue and that's a consideration at your age.

I have an IPP now and I keep asking myself why did I wait so damn long to do it. I guess in summary what I'm saying is you can give other methods a try, but don't waste time on them as I did. I was implanted Jan of this year and we are getting our sex life back together. At my age, recovery is slower than younger guys like yourself, but I'm on track and now we're back to days, not weeks or months between the fun!