Early 30s considering implant - MANY questions

[NYCGay]

Every doctor I speak to is just flummoxed because there's no research about this chemical and I'm extremely young to experience ED.

True, ED is much more common among older men than among the young – but it’s not like it’s unheard of in guys in their thirties or even their twenties. Like you, I already suffered from ED by the time I lost my virginity, which was at age 23. Back then, it was determined that the cause was psychological, because I had normal nocturnal erections (as measured with a device strapped to my penis for three nights). But in the end, knowing that it was psychological didn’t really make much of a difference: I still couldn’t get hard. I still mourned not being able to have a normal sex life. I started with injections at age 25. (This was in the pre-Viagra era.) The injections worked for me for several years, but I hated the hassle of dealing with them.

The bottom line is: you are suffering from ED, whatever the reason, and it’s preventing you from having the sex life you want to have. Yes, you’re young, but I would see that as all the more reason to keep exploring solutions. It's sounds as if you've suffered from this long enough. No need to put off finding a solution till you're old.

I keep telling myself I deserve to experience this very human pleasure

And it’s not just physical pleasure. It’s also the human connection that comes with that pleasure. Sex is a deeply-rooted way of being intimate with another human being. With the risk of stating the obvious: sex is an important part of relationships and marriage. Not being able to get hard can affect your whole life, in and out of bed. Well, I'm sure you already know that.

but the thought of actually permanently inserting foreign objects into my body (EXTREMELY expensive objects, no less), and that I'll have to get this done at least 2-3 more times in my life because I'm young... it's a very frightening thought.

Yes, implant surgery is expensive, but depending on which country you live in, or what insurance you have (if you live in the U.S.), you may not have to pay the total cost yourself. And yes, you will likely need to have revisions, but if you have the ability to choose an insurance that covers it, it may not be such a big deal. I had my first revision in January. Sure, it was a bit of a hassle; of course I would have preferred not to have needed it, but it was no dealbreaker.

I'm not opposed to trying needles but they don't seem like a viable long term solution (and are also scary in their own right)?

I never liked the injections. Still, I wouldn’t advise anybody to get an implant without at least having tried injections first. What have you got to lose? If you don’t like them, you can start exploring the implant option. But some men are happy with the injections. If that turns out to be the case for you: great! It doesn’t have to be the solution for the rest of your life. It may just be something you use for a few months or years, while thinking about whether you want to move on to an implant.

[awf_1993]

I appreciate everyone's responses here. It definitely makes me feel a bit less insane.

A few other questions i've been meaning to ask:

- How long and how painful/uncomfortable was your recovery period? When were you able to go back into public fully deflated and no one could tell?

- Did you take any medications or have any routine ahead of the surgery to help speed up the recovery process?

- Did you tell any friends and family about it? Or just got the procedure on your own because it's your own business, etc.

- How long was the total process, from the first phone call with a surgeon to waking up post-surgery to being recovered enough to live normally?

[GoodWood]

I appreciate everyone's responses here. It definitely makes me feel a bit less insane.

A few other questions i've been meaning to ask:

- How long and how painful/uncomfortable was your recovery period? When were you able to go back into public fully deflated and no one could tell?

- Did you take any medications or have any routine ahead of the surgery to help speed up the recovery process?

- Did you tell any friends and family about it? Or just got the procedure on your own because it's your own business, etc.

- How long was the total process, from the first phone call with a surgeon to waking up post-surgery to being recovered enough to live normally?

1) I had a very easy recovery period. I didn’t need anything more than Advil, Tylenol, and ice packs. 4 days after surgery I joined some friends for an easy hangout social event. (Just sitting around talking). They had no idea and didn’t say anything. I returned to work on day 11. No problem. I gently masturbated on day 9. I had vigorous sex at week 4. I was back to the gym gently easing back into things after 2 weeks. I think I gave it about 6 weeks before I did any really hard abs workout.

2) I used a really cheap VED for about 15 minutes each morning as I was showering and getting cleaned up for the day. I think it helped reclaim size I had lost to ED. I used a tension devise (Phallosan Forte) as well for the last 6 weeks to 2 months. I think that helped reclaim size as well but to a lesser degree. It may gained 1/2 a cm. Barely anything but if that helped my surgeon round up to the next size, great. It was a hassle to wear though (12-16 hours a day). If I were to do it again I might skip the tension devise but I would absolutely use the VED. Otherwise I was just mindful to do EVERYTHING my surgeon suggested.

3) My husband knew. My two best friends knew. And I was in touch via text/phone with a couple guys from here on FrankTalk. But I otherwise didn’t tell anyone else.
I think it’s important to have at least one person who can be there to give you a hand with stuff the first 24 hours or so. You want to stay off your feet and keep an ice pack on as much as possible that first day. It was great to have someone check on me and get me a fresh ice pack or the next dose of Advil without me getting up.

4. I think from the moment I met with the surgeon (made up my mind to do this) until surgery was 3 weeks or so. I was back to regular stuff (taking it easy) at day 11. Feeling pretty normal by 1 month. Forgetting I had surgery by the second or third month. I rarely think about it anymore.

I love my implant. No regrets. It was a great decision.

I kept a day by day journal of the experience. The link is in my signature below. Feel free to PM if you want to talk about any of the specifics.

[Redsf4040]

I am 15 months post implant and still not able to have sex.
I tried the VED which so many people raved about. It did nothing. I tried trimix and quad mix and it only gave me Peyrone.
People also raved about the implant and yet not working for me. I am doing sex therapy as suggested by my surgeon. Still early in that process
My point is that there are no sure cures for ED.
It is important to try different approaches but keep expectations in check.

[Lawrence13]

Hey all,

32 year old straight guy here. I've suffered from and struggled with ED since I was 20 years old, and I basically don't even know what it feels like for my dick to be fully hard/erect. Even when masturbating solo, I can get to, like, *maybe* 60% hardness? It's hard to even know. I can get some blood to flow down there, and it gets larger, but not hard. The absolute hardest I can possibly get myself is still bendy and soft, often takes 5-10 minutes of zen-like concentration to achieve, and soon as I stop masturbating, it'll go right back down.

Sex is extremely difficult for me, and the few times I find myself in the situation, it becomes a stressful chore and a mental puzzle to figure out how to get juuuuust hard enough to enter. I do not know what actually satisfying sex feels like, and it's been like this since the beginning of my sex life - I can't tell you how many excuses and lies I've had to improvise an excuse/explanation in the moment as a young guy utterly perplexed why I wasn't getting hard *any* of the times I was getting intimate with women.

I've been on pills since 2016 - mostly daily tadalafil, generic viagra when needed - with diminishing returns over time. At this point the pills give maybe like a 10% boost, if they have any effect at all. Doc says it's my nervous system in a permanent state of fight or flight, and as such, my body is unable to allocate the resources and bloodflow to getting and sustaining a hardon since I'm always in survival mode.

However, this is all I know, and after a lot of researching and soul searching, it seems like biting the bullet and just getting an implant is actually the more reasonable solution to my dilemma than trying another decade of trying to somehow fix it naturally.

It's obviously a difficult problem to talk about, and even at urologists, I haven't been able to demonstrate, like, how quote-unquote "hard" I'm able to get, the circumstances needed to even get that hard, etc. If anyone is willing to talk and hear me out, that would be incredible. I have photos and videos that show the maximum "hardness" my still-not-rigid penis can achieve (but not maintain), and I'm basically wondering if my dreadful quarter-hard "erections" are similar to what those of you had before you were implanted, or if I'm still getting "hard enough" to technically not qualify for an implant.

I just can't fathom the prospect of living the rest of my life the same way the past 12 years have gone and I dream about the one day I'll actually be able to just enjoy and fully immerse myself in sexual pleasure without any of those other thoughts and stresses that have dictated the course of my love life.

So I ask you all, members of this forum, for help determining if I'm actually the kind of person these implants are meant for, even though I'm on the younger side, or if I'm way overthinking all of this. I have so, so, so many questions that I would love community input on.

Thanks to all for reading and for all who respond! This forum is a lifesaver.

Brother, I have been able to have sex from age 17 till now. That past 5 years was a decline but I sustained by using injections. Point is… the loss of spontaneity alone, was enough to get my to take the leap.

What you just described in your post….i can’t imagine a more compelling reason for someone in their early 30’s to do this. You deserve to experience a real sex life you can enjoy. You deserve it now.

I have no notes. I think you should do it and do it as soon as you find a surgeon you are comfortable with. I wouldn’t wait.

Once I decided, I moved quickly and I’m so glad I did.

[awf_1993]

Brother, I have been able to have sex from age 17 till now. That past 5 years was a decline but I sustained by using injections. Point is… the loss of spontaneity alone, was enough to get my to take the leap.

What you just described in your post….i can’t imagine a more compelling reason for someone in their early 30’s to do this. You deserve to experience a real sex life you can enjoy. You deserve it now.

I have no notes. I think you should do it and do it as soon as you find a surgeon you are comfortable with. I wouldn’t wait.

Once I decided, I moved quickly and I’m so glad I did.

I'm curious - do you know what caused your decline? When you finally opted for injections/implant, were you not able to get even a little bit hard? Or was it like, blood could still flow down there, but not enough, or it wouldn't maintain, etc.

Part of me is still stuck on this line of thinking that because I'm not 100% flaccid at all times, and I can masturbate myself to like maybe half-hard, that that isn't enough dysfunction to justify the surgery, basically.

[NYCGay]

- How long and how painful/uncomfortable was your recovery period? When were you able to go back into public fully deflated and no one could tell?

I had a fair bit of discomfort during the first couple of weeks, but nothing excruciating. I took a percocet now and then during that time, especially during the first five days or so.

As per Dr. Eid’s regimen, I started cycling on the third day after surgery. Sure, it wasn’t exactly pleasant to inflate the device so soon, but it was manageable, especially since I knew that the pain would subside as soon as I deflated.

I started going out in public on the fourth day or so. Since I was already cycling, I could deflate and had no problem hiding my dick. But some surgeons leave their patients partly inflated for the first couple of weeks. I imagine that would make it harder to hide it.

I was working remotely at the time and only took three days off: the surgery day and the first two days afterwards. Taking a full week off would have been better. If I had worked in an office, I would probably have wanted to take at least ten days off. And if you’re doing heavy physical work, you’ll have to discuss with your surgeon how soon you can return to work.

- Did you take any medications or have any routine ahead of the surgery to help speed up the recovery process?

I did not use a vacuum device or anything else before the surgery.

- Did you tell any friends and family about it? Or just got the procedure on your own because it's your own business, etc.

My husband was fully onboard, and I told one other friend. To some others, I said I was having a prostate procedure. If I absolutely had to, I suppose I could have gone through it all on my own (with proper planning), but I’m glad I didn’t have to. It was a great comfort to have my husband tend to me the first few days. If you don’t have a partner, I would recommend that you confide in somebody and ask them to ideally stay with you, or at least pay you some visits during the first couple of days.

- How long was the total process, from the first phone call with a surgeon to waking up post-surgery to being recovered enough to live normally?

I had my surgery about seven weeks after my first consultation with Dr. Eid.

Returning to normal life was of course a gradual process, but I’d say after three weeks or so, I was mainly back to normal, though things were still a little uncomfortable, and I needed to rearrange myself now and then.

I jerked off on day 12 and had the first sex after three and a half weeks. I had some discomfort and pain during sex for the first few months.

There are many guys who have chronicled their journeys in diaries here on FrankTalk. I would recommend looking through a few of them. That will give you an idea of the range of experiences. Mine is linked in my signature.

Part of me is still stuck on this line of thinking that because I'm not 100% flaccid at all times, and I can masturbate myself to like maybe half-hard, that that isn't enough dysfunction to justify the surgery, basically.

Just because you can masturbate yourself to a partial erection doesn’t mean surgery is not justified. The real question is: are you able to have the kind of sex life you want, or at least something close enough to it? Can you have the kind of sexual encounters you want to have?