Yet Another Journal: ED, Titan, Gay Sex, Implant Failure, Revision Surgery ...

[kbb1957]

Looks great regardless of being only 8 days after your surgery.
You uncut guys are fortunate to still have your foreskin.
I look forward to hearing how the first time back in the saddle goes. I bet you will be matchless again.
Congratulations!

[NYCGay]

9 weeks since revision surgery

Recap: My first implant, which I got in 2021, broke down last October, leaving me with a limp, useless dick. Due to some turns with the insurance company, I didn’t have revision surgery until three months later, on January 16 this year. And then there was of course the healing process, stretching out my unchosen abstinence to over four months.

But all that is now behind me, and it sure feels good to be able to have erections again. It feels great, and confidence-boosting, to be actively sexual again. I can live without sex – I’ve done that before – but not without missing it. We evolved as sexual beings. Remove that part, and you will feel that something is missing.

This post will contain some unvarnished descriptions of gay sex, so stop reading if you have a problem with that.

I inaugurated the implant for anal sex five weeks after the surgery. (I had some oral sex earlier, but you can get blown even with a limp dick, so it was the anal fucking that felt like the true inaugural celebration.) This was actually later in the healing process than after I got my first implant, when I debuted it after three and a half weeks. This time, the debut was delayed due to a miscommunication about the stitches: I thought they were of dissolvable thread and was waiting for them to fall out on their own, but some of them were actually permanent thread. When they were finally taken out, rather late, it caused some bleeding. Not to risk any infection, I was advised to put off sex a little longer.

The first act was with a guy I see regularly. I had told him about my implant when it failed, because I wanted him to know why I was no longer available to fuck him. He had waited for me to be fit for action again with a combination of patience (which I found heartwarming) and impatience (which I found flattering); he was willing to wait, but fuck, when is it ready?!

As we went to bed, it felt reassuring that he knew about my implant. He wouldn’t wonder why in the world I had trimmed my pubes so short, and he wouldn’t be perturbed if I had some pain or discomfort and needed to take a break before completing the act.

But it went fine. I did take a prescription painkiller before the act, as things were still a bit sore and tender, but much less so than at the same point in the process after I got my first implant. It felt great to finally be able to be sexual with him again.

As for technical details about the device: The Titan with the Classic pump, which I have now, is said to be louder when you inflate it than the Titan with the OTR pump, which I had before. But I’m not sure that’s my experience. Both the Classic and the OTR sometimes, but not always, make a sound when you press the pump. It’s loud enough to be heard in silence, but easily disguised with music or talking or any kind of surrounding noise. It’s hard to compare an occasional sound I heard back in October with another occasional sound now, but to me, they seem about equal in loudness. It’s a slight inconvenience; a perfect implant would not have it, but it’s no big deal.

Two days after my inaugural use, I put the device to a harder test with an act of double penetration: pushing my dick into an ass which already harbored another man’s (rather substantial) cock. It’s amazing how stretchable an asshole can be with proper training and warmup. But it does require both tops to have fully firm erections. This is certainly something I could not have pulled off with the semi-hard, like-a-condom-packed-with-tofu erections that were all I could achieve with injections, before I got my implant.

Double-penetration is one of my fantasies (I have many), but I’ve engaged in it only a couple of times before. The bottom was a handsome, well-built Latino guy in his early thirties, and the other top a slenderly muscular, big-dicked and very hairy guy of similar age. I found them both very sexy, especially the bottom guy, who I thought was absolutely beautiful. And still, the encounter was a bit of a disappointment (though not due to any shortcomings of the implant, which was perfectly up to the task). There just wasn’t much of a connection. The bottom guy submitted to kissing, but seemed to have no interest in it, at least not with me.

Thinking through the surprisingly quick act, while walking home afterwards, I realized that the beautiful bottom guy can’t have been into me the way I was into him. He was the one who had invited me, but that might have been just to humor the other top, who was probably the one who had brought up the double-penetration scenario. I was just there to play a role, and it might not even have been a role that the bottom guy wanted played. The act ended, after I had cum, with the bottom guy requesting the other top to fuck him missionary style, while the bottom guy jerked himself to orgasm. It was beautiful to watch, but at that point, I was just an audience.

I kind of wished I hadn’t gone. It felt more like getting a notch in my belt – double-penetrating a handsome muscle bottom – than a true encounter.

Now, when I hook up on a sex app, of course I don’t necessarily expect to be seen as anything but an actor type-cast for a pre-specified role – but sometimes it does turn out to be so much more than that: conversation of drinks, slipping into extended, exploratory foreplay, sliding into sex, and finally, long post-coital pillow talk. I rarely spend the nights with hookups – few guys seem to be up for it – but I do have some encounters that end up lasting two or three or four hours, and I tend to find those more rewarding than those that are over-and-done-with in twenty minutes or even less.

I’ve had several other encounters over the weeks since then, some of them very good experiences, and some that I could have passed on. But even when a particular encounter turns out to be a dud – a failure to connect, or a mismatch of desires – I feel very good about being a functional sexual man again.