Johnnyborg’s Malleable Journey

[easymoney]

I'm on my 2nd Rigicon 1st one bent fine 2nd one will not bend at all after 3 visits to surgeon there is no answer except to replace it or go to a different implant. Chose wisely both implant brand as well as surgeon.

[JohnnyBorg]

Are u able to conceal it right now??
Is it concealable upwards??

Some guys conceal it upwards but I don’t like how it feels. I don’t like putting pressure on the underside by the glans and distal parts of the shaft. I also feel like with gravity, it wants to pull forward anyways. Better for me to have to concealed forward and slightly to the left.

It creates a bulge in my trousers that is noticeable to me but likely not super noticeable to others. It isn’t “vulgar” looking or pointy like an erection or anything. But it’s there. And I’ll be honest, I’m a bit self conscious about it right now.

[JohnnyBorg]

I'm on my 2nd Rigicon 1st one bent fine 2nd one will not bend at all after 3 visits to surgeon there is no answer except to replace it or go to a different implant. Chose wisely both implant brand as well as surgeon.

Thanks for sharing easymoney - the 13mm Rigi10 rods are getting this reputation, unfortunately. And I don’t think the Genesis 13mm has the same issue, but I do imagine that the wider width rods are generally most difficult to bend.

It’s very odd that your surgeon is so dismissive of the issue. I avoided the 13mm and even the 12mm Rigi10 on purpose because of the reputation of those girths being very difficult to bend and conceal - but this is not something that many surgeons seem to be aware of. Very surprising.

Do you think you might revise to a smaller width or a Genesis?

[lasthope2.0]

You're right, JohnnyBorg. The 13mm Genesis has good bending properties, but it’s still not picture perfect. If it’s a 'social bending day,' I still have to re-bend him every few hours as he tends to gradually spring back.

[JohnnyBorg]

You're right, JohnnyBorg. The 13mm Genesis has good bending properties, but it’s still not picture perfect. If it’s a 'social bending day,' I still have to re-bend him every few hours as he tends to gradually spring back.

Glad I’m not alone LastHope when I was reading journals prior to my implant, I really breezed past when guys would talk about getting used to being a shower instead of a grower. Now that I’m living it, I’m surprised at how “aware” I am of the new bulge.

Today I had a chance to take a couple photos and with a nice untucked flannel, I really don’t think most folks would think anything of it. But it’s definitely there - and with an untucked shirt for me, it does look a bit more “pronounced” comparatively,

[lasthope2.0]

You're right, JohnnyBorg. The 13mm Genesis has good bending properties, but it’s still not picture perfect. If it’s a 'social bending day,' I still have to re-bend him every few hours as he tends to gradually spring back.

Glad I’m not alone LastHope when I was reading journals prior to my implant, I really breezed past when guys would talk about getting used to being a shower instead of a grower. Now that I’m living it, I’m surprised at how “aware” I am of the new bulge.

Today I had a chance to take a couple photos and with a nice untucked flannel, I really don’t think most folks would think anything of it. But it’s definitely there - and with an untucked shirt for me, it does look a bit more “pronounced” comparatively,

I really like how you put it: "battle of the bulge."
I watched a YouTube video about implants last night and one dude commented sadly about how he stopped getting morning wood. This morning when I woke up, I thought to myself, "Man, I’ve now got morning wood, afternoon wood, evening wood, and night wood." What a way to live. Just happy wood!

[JohnnyBorg]

You're right, JohnnyBorg. The 13mm Genesis has good bending properties, but it’s still not picture perfect. If it’s a 'social bending day,' I still have to re-bend him every few hours as he tends to gradually spring back.

Glad I’m not alone LastHope when I was reading journals prior to my implant, I really breezed past when guys would talk about getting used to being a shower instead of a grower. Now that I’m living it, I’m surprised at how “aware” I am of the new bulge.

Today I had a chance to take a couple photos and with a nice untucked flannel, I really don’t think most folks would think anything of it. But it’s definitely there - and with an untucked shirt for me, it does look a bit more “pronounced” comparatively,

I really like how you put it: "battle of the bulge."
I watched a YouTube video about implants last night and one dude commented sadly about how he stopped getting morning wood. This morning when I woke up, I thought to myself, "Man, I’ve now got morning wood, afternoon wood, evening wood, and night wood." What a way to live. Just happy wood!

and our IPP brothers obviously have an advantage here since they aren’t hard round the clock, but from what I understand they all have to get used to being showers as well just comes with the territory I guess.

[JohnnyBorg]

WEEK 5 - Update:

So at Week 5, some interesting things have emerged. Not bad, but just interesting observations.

1) General pain and soreness has pretty much completely lifted - the only pain and soreness I seem to get now is with the implant being in compression boxers + in rigid pants + sitting for long stretches. I'm anxious to reach a "fully recovered" state where this kind of pressure soreness no longer is present, but deep down I know that's a MUCH LONGER part of the healing journey, and that I likely will be very very slowly getting better in this area over months. That's okay with me - and honestly, its already improved a lot since I started bending the implant last week. Which brings me to point #2.

2) I'm frustrated by the Rigi10's spring back. I should have seen this coming, but the truth is that I think the Rigi10 marketing needs some adjusting. The whole "135 degree bend" thing is actually 100% true - I can get my implant to bend 135 degrees, do backflips over my balls, you name it! But with spring back, no matter what I seem to do, the implant keeps wanting to settle at 4.5 o clock. This means that to best conceal it, I've been leaning on compression boxer briefs - but these can be a bit uncomfortable when worn for long stretches, because obviously my implant wants to push out from 6 o clock stowage closer to 4.5 o clock! Its not the worst feeling in the world, but the thing that bothers me is that it COULD be more comfortable, if the hinge wouldn't spring back. This is one area where I'm kind of kicking myself a bit that I didn't go with the Genesis - in every bend test video I watched, the Genesis sat closer to 5 o clock comfortably from the get-go. In Hakky's bend test video on his YouTube channel, he WAS able to get the Rigi10 to sit much more closely to the Genesis bend angle - but this was on a 9mm rod after putting MUCH more torque on the rod. My hope is that by continuing to bend and work the hinge, that I can get the implant to sit naturally at the 5 o clock position or better. But honestly, until that happens, I'd warn any prospective malleable patients that the Rigi10 spring back is no joke, and that you should be aware that it loses to the Genesis in this regard. Which brings me to point #3.

3) Concealment is a slight issue right now - not a MAJOR one, but enough to where it's annoying. I am very lucky to be in a position where I make good money and can afford high quality clothes / tailored items, etc. My idealistic hope with the malleable was that it was going to bend enough and stow in my jeans in a way that the bulge would look very natural, but due to the fact that the Rigi10 spring back makes the implant want to naturally hang closer to 4.5 o clock, the best way for me to stow my implant and go about my day has been with compression shorts + wider leg high rise trousers. And honestly, I think I'm going to go to my local tailor and have a couple trousers made bespoke to mitigate this issue as much as possible (bourgeois, I know ). I think experimentation is really key here, to be honest. But I just haven't found a solution that ticks all my main boxes yet. When I do, I'll be certain to report back.

All in all, I'm doing pretty good. I've come a VERY long way since surgery - you can tell because ALL of these 3 observations above at Week 5 are things I wouldn't have cared AT ALL about a couple weeks back when I was still dealing with pain, urinary dribbling, pelvic floor guarding, you name it! I know this is a process, so I'm trying to recognize that I really have come a long way.

What's left?

- Need to be cleared for sex (follow up with Hakky next Tuesday!).
- Need to figure out a concealment strategy.
- Need to keep healing to get more comfort in day to day life.

I'll keep y'all updated. Cheers everyone!

[JohnnyBorg]

UPDATE - CONCEALMENT & A NIGHT OUT WITH FRIENDS:

Tonight marks a pretty great milestone - I went out with some good friends of mine for dinner and drinks and this was the first time I was catching up with folks pretty much since before surgery. Before this, I’d been only testing my MPP’s concealment on walks around my neighborhood and to my favorite coffee shop - but haven’t had an opportunity to see how I feel in a much more social environment.

Clothing choices: For underwear, I wore compression boxer briefs. Over that I wore black cotton twill trousers with room in the thigh and straight leg, which helped with comfort + concealment since dark colors help reduce shadows. I also put a slightly thicker wallet in my left pocket since I currently stow my MPP slightly left down my left pant leg - what I’ve found is having the wallet in my left pocket makes a noticeable difference in terms of concealing the MPP bulge. It helps to make the fabric on that pant leg drape a bit differently, and reduces the “prominence” of any kind of MPP bulge that telegraphs when walking / leaning in certain positions.

I honestly felt VERY good about how things were concealed in this setup. SO good, that I actually wore my button down shirt tucked-in rather than untucked like I had originally planned. Untucked definitely would’ve made things even easier for concealment, but I ultimately didn’t even need to add that additional layer of security.

The night out was awesome. It was a very small group and was great to catch up with people after basically just recovering for the last ~6 weeks!

The biggest challenges: concealment was very very good, but going from sitting to standing is still an awkward moment because while sitting down, the Rigi10 wants to bend back upward slightly in my compression underwear. So when I go to stand, it pokes forward SLIGHTLY more than it had been before sitting down. But with the compression boxer briefs, it actually starts to settle back downward after a few steps + I’m able to put my hand in my left pocket and push it down rest of the way subtly from the inside of the pocket itself. In addition - sitting for long stretches in pants is still not the MOST comfortable thing, but I was able to shift weight and find comfortable positions for myself and was actually really impressed with how far I’ve come. So various soreness and discomfort is still present, and I expect this to remain the same for awhile. But I was able to figure it out!

A few weeks ago, I couldn’t even imagine making my way to my local CVS, let alone a long gathering with friends. But tonight, I really was able to enjoy my time and unwind, all while successfully concealing the implant.

I also noticed - even though I was actively staying aware of the implant and of concealment tonight - I felt more confident than ever before in myself. I’ve always been a very confident guy, but just knowing that I had my MPP and that my ED has been FINALLY addressed… I really felt fantastic. Like anything was possible.

I’m very excited for this week. Have my 6 week follow up with Hakky on Tuesday and hope I get the “all clear” for sex. I want to get out there and start getting comfortable with this thing and USING it!