Johnnyborg’s Malleable Journey

[JohnnyBorg]

Are you still taking oxy everyday?

No, I stopped Oxy on around this past Sunday. I didn’t like the effect it was having on my heart rate (uncomfortably high heart rate after taking).

[duke_cicero]

Man, that is unlucky. But you made it. You even took the stairs! Not an easy feat given the circumstances. And yes, you have to see the humor in these things.

Your "jolts" are part of recovery. I had them, too. I also get more "jolts" in general than your average bear because I sweat a lot (I run warm) and lose electrolytes faster than most people, I suspect. Make sure you're getting enough salt in your diet. Maybe just pound a Gatorade Zero once a day or something. I'd be curious to know if those jolts lessen as a result. It's a known fact that tissue healing requires more electrolytes than you'd need under normal conditions. Lightly salt your food, and have some Gatorade along with your water.

Thanks Duke! Random question - did you find the tip of your penis was burning for awhile after surgery? I’m peeing fine, but on day 9 post op I’m STILL feeling burning for awhile after peeing on the very tip of my penis. It’s definitely not UTI, but really really annoying.

For context: I’m still very swollen too lol.

Yes, definitely. I think it was related to the catheterization. My urethra from base to tip was on fire for about a week and a half.

[JohnnyBorg]

Man, that is unlucky. But you made it. You even took the stairs! Not an easy feat given the circumstances. And yes, you have to see the humor in these things.

Your "jolts" are part of recovery. I had them, too. I also get more "jolts" in general than your average bear because I sweat a lot (I run warm) and lose electrolytes faster than most people, I suspect. Make sure you're getting enough salt in your diet. Maybe just pound a Gatorade Zero once a day or something. I'd be curious to know if those jolts lessen as a result. It's a known fact that tissue healing requires more electrolytes than you'd need under normal conditions. Lightly salt your food, and have some Gatorade along with your water.

Thanks Duke! Random question - did you find the tip of your penis was burning for awhile after surgery? I’m peeing fine, but on day 9 post op I’m STILL feeling burning for awhile after peeing on the very tip of my penis. It’s definitely not UTI, but really really annoying.

For context: I’m still very swollen too lol.

Yes, definitely. I think it was related to the catheterization. My urethra from base to tip was on fire for about a week and a half.

Man I’m glad I’m not alone there it suuuuuuuuuuuuuucks

[JohnnyBorg]

Day 9 post op - evening:

Big moment (for me): well I just had a really good moment that makes me really feel like I’m healing and that I’m on the right track. Today, I’ve had a lot of pain like usual. I’m still trying to figure out how to best mitigate and handle all this pain.

After work, I hopped on a phone call with a really good friend of mine. I was laying down and just trying to be as comfortable as possible. After about 20 minutes of the phone call, I suddenly realized that my pain was very, very minimal. It had taken a back seat. It was still there in all the same places - but it wasn’t the center of my attention the way it’s been for huge stretches of my day. And the severity was less overall.

I’m absolutely positive that my brain down regulated all the pain I’ve been dealing with, while I was distracted by the nice phone call. Aside from this being a great way to relax and get through pain in the short term, I feel like this is a GREAT sign in the big picture. If my body wasn’t slowly healing and handling the trauma of surgery, there’s no way i would’ve been able to almost FORGET the pain and tension I’ve been feeling just by being on a phone call.

Even though I can already feel some pain ramping back up (it always does right before bed for me), I’m anchoring to this tonight as a really good sign of what’s to come as I keep healing the next few weeks.

- Johnny

[duke_cicero]

Day 9 post op - evening:

Big moment (for me): well I just had a really good moment that makes me really feel like I’m healing and that I’m on the right track. Today, I’ve had a lot of pain like usual. I’m still trying to figure out how to best mitigate and handle all this pain.

After work, I hopped on a phone call with a really good friend of mine. I was laying down and just trying to be as comfortable as possible. After about 20 minutes of the phone call, I suddenly realized that my pain was very, very minimal. It had taken a back seat. It was still there in all the same places - but it wasn’t the center of my attention the way it’s been for huge stretches of my day. And the severity was less overall.

I’m absolutely positive that my brain down regulated all the pain I’ve been dealing with, while I was distracted by the nice phone call. Aside from this being a great way to relax and get through pain in the short term, I feel like this is a GREAT sign in the big picture. If my body wasn’t slowly healing and handling the trauma of surgery, there’s no way i would’ve been able to almost FORGET the pain and tension I’ve been feeling just by being on a phone call.

Even though I can already feel some pain ramping back up (it always does right before bed for me), I’m anchoring to this tonight as a really good sign of what’s to come as I keep healing the next few weeks.

- Johnny

This is huge progress! Can you listen to a podcast or watch a movie? Man, I had dozens of films queued up during my recovery. I think I saw more Criterion Collection films during recovery than I had during the rest of my life, lol

[JohnnyBorg]

This is huge progress! Can you listen to a podcast or watch a movie? Man, I had dozens of films queued up during my recovery. I think I saw more Criterion Collection films during recovery than I had during the rest of my life, lol

It’s so interesting - I’ve been watching movies and shows pretty much non stop, and although they’ve been enjoyable, the various pains / tension / my brain telling me “YOU HAVE TWO RODS IN YOUR DICK” has been fairly overwhelming even when I’ve been watching something.

But I do think I’m slowly (slowly slowly) turning a corner now. Even though things might ramp up again, then drop back down. I can kind of tell that my brain is starting to open up to the idea that “hey, we aren’t in extreme danger”

I’m also finding ways to manage the pain even better - lots of breathing exercises which are way more helpful than i thought + whenever im holding tension in a part of my body, especially pelvic floor, im able to consciously stop and relax it.

Everything is connected - so as the pain and swelling naturally reduces, it’s easier for my body to relax and push aside the hyper awareness of the implant.

Things are starting to look up. Slowly.

[JohnnyBorg]

Day 10 post op - morning:

Sleep: so I’m still getting woken up in the night by pain, but the last 3 nights are showing a much more manageable trend - and last night may have been the best so far. I think I might’ve gotten around ~5 hours. And the night pain itself wasn’t as bad / intense as it’s been last few days - I was able to make adjustments each time I woke up to eventually “soothe” the pain using deep breathing, massaging of my legs and pelvic floor area, etc. That hasn’t been the case before last night, so last night was a big win.

Pain: again - don’t want to jinx anything - but I am definitely turning a corner. Slowly. The pain this morning is there in all the same places, but it’s MARGINALLY more “dull” today, and becoming easier for me to take control back via breathing exercises, repositioning my body, etc.

Swelling / bruising: still very much a thing. But the effect gravity has on the swelling - which has been VERY uncomfortable for me - also feels marginally better today.

I’m gearing up to return home tomorrow - I’ve been here in Atlanta for just under 2 weeks. I’m very nervous for the airplane ride home, but once I can cross this bridge I think things are going to get a bit smoother. I need to get back into my own space and start adapting from there.

[duke_cicero]

It’s so interesting - I’ve been watching movies and shows pretty much non stop, and although they’ve been enjoyable, the various pains / tension / my brain telling me “YOU HAVE TWO RODS IN YOUR DICK” has been fairly overwhelming even when I’ve been watching something.

Yeah, I admit even now that every couple months or so I have this flash of "oh wow, did I really do that? I guess I did!" and it freaks me out for a split second but then I'm back to being grateful and excited that I took the risk and jumped in and did what was best for me. Tell you what, I never wonder if I really did it when I'm in bed with a beautiful woman, lol.

I’m gearing up to return home tomorrow - I’ve been here in Atlanta for just under 2 weeks. I’m very nervous for the airplane ride home, but once I can cross this bridge I think things are going to get a bit smoother. I need to get back into my own space and start adapting from there.

I keep forgetting that you've been away from home in Atlanta. Once you're home, you're going to feel much more settled. It's hard to be away. Please let us know how things go! Even with these early challenges, it sounds like you're doing great and finally starting to see real, palpable progress!

[JohnnyBorg]

It’s so interesting - I’ve been watching movies and shows pretty much non stop, and although they’ve been enjoyable, the various pains / tension / my brain telling me “YOU HAVE TWO RODS IN YOUR DICK” has been fairly overwhelming even when I’ve been watching something.

Yeah, I admit even now that every couple months or so I have this flash of "oh wow, did I really do that? I guess I did!" and it freaks me out for a split second but then I'm back to being grateful and excited that I took the risk and jumped in and did what was best for me. Tell you what, I never wonder if I really did it when I'm in bed with a beautiful woman, lol.

I’m gearing up to return home tomorrow - I’ve been here in Atlanta for just under 2 weeks. I’m very nervous for the airplane ride home, but once I can cross this bridge I think things are going to get a bit smoother. I need to get back into my own space and start adapting from there.

I keep forgetting that you've been away from home in Atlanta. Once you're home, you're going to feel much more settled. It's hard to be away. Please let us know how things go! Even with these early challenges, it sounds like you're doing great and finally starting to see real, palpable progress!

Thanks Duke, sincerely appreciate your support throughout! It’s made a significant difference being able to cross reference what I’m going through with your experience and the experience of others.

[JohnnyBorg]

Day 10 post op - evening:

Well, I’ve got to say, I really think I’m turning a page. I still have pain and specific sensations (some guarding still, some burning discomfort when standing due to gravity on my swelling / edema, etc). I also anticipate night time being more difficult overall. But the good news? Today, everything has been NOTICEABLY more manageable.

I’ve been able to distract myself from pain more easily. The pain itself is a little bit more “dull” overall. I can find comfortable positions laying down on the bed fairly quickly. No problems taking a dump pissing is interesting because the burning irritation is definitely improving too - I occasionally clench up involuntarily mid-stream still - which is uncomfortable - but that’s getting markedly better too and is not as painful as it was a few days ago when it does happen. Some extra dribbling post-void is still a thing for me right now, but I anticipate this getting better too.

I’m in pretty good spirits today. A few days ago, I was fighting to break through some of the heaviness, mentally. It was definitely a battle driven by pain and anxiety, but trying to stay positive and find the humor in things helped.

Tomorrow, I fly home. I anticipate this being a challenging adventure. Especially walking through the airport with a hard on sticking out at 3 o clock. my big winter long coat is paying DIVIDENDS right now.

Looking forward to getting home, and starting the next phase of this journey.