We’re at the 1 week mark since surgery. Here’s where I stand:
Pain: this has surprised me a lot. Maybe it was reading too many other malleable journals, or perhaps misinterpreting them. Maybe I’m a huge wuss and my pain threshold is low
But MAN - whatever it is, the pain has been rough. I honestly did a decent enough job first couple days but I realize now, that’s because the nerve blocker Hakky used during surgery was DOING ITS JOB 
Now that it’s gone? It’s been pretty rough. The main pains I’ve been dealing with have been 1) burning pain from gravity impacting my swelling / edemas 2) remaining burning at tip of penis when I pee, driven by swelling and likely still irritation from the catheter, 3) painful sensitivity of glans and swollen areas - I’m SO sensitive right now man. And it can be quite rough. 4) pelvic floor guarding - I don’t see a ton about this in other journals, but because my brain is so hyper aware of the new hardware in my body + hyper aware of the pain from surgery, I’m holding quite a bit of tension in my pelvic floor. This can be painful at times - it doesn’t last 24/7, but tends to flare up in response to certain pains, walking, etc. Laying on my back and keeping thighs elevated helps a lot with this though and fortunately, it’s not impacting my ability to shit or urinate. Painkillers: I had two Oxy left but stopped using them - they were pretty effective for about 2-3 hours at a time, but they also kept raising my heart rate and anxiety and I was not fond of that either. So now just sticking to over the counter meds. These help mildly for now.
Sleep: sleep has gotten WORSE since day 4 or 5 or so. Right around the time that the nerve block wore off
honestly, this has been my least favorite part so far. At night, it feels like an impossible mission to get comfortable. I’m in a constant war of keeping my pelvic floor relaxed, and finding the “perfect” back sleeping position (I’m a side sleeper, btw) all while trying to not move? Or maybe move a little bit, because sometimes it’s the stillness that bothers me? Even if you’ve gotten that right, there’s still just the general aching around swollen areas and incision sites. 
But let’s just say you’ve gotten that all right - you start to fall asleep… it’s going to end in one of two ways. 1) you fall asleep for maybe 30 or so minutes before some kind of pain wakes you, or 2) you start to drift towards sleep, and then BAM - involuntary pelvic floor spasm because (get this), you’re TOO COMFORTABLE TLDR on sleep: it’s been a doozy. I can’t WAIT for any of my pain symptoms to start getting better because honestly, even just one or two things improving will go a very long way!
Appearance: my dick looks like it’s been through it. Raw from swelling, some small edema. The scar area on back of penis looks fine. Honestly though - even with everything, it’s not too shabby!
Size: too early man. But again - I was a small guy to start with
Hakky feels strongly that I didn’t lose significant size. I feel like my stretched bone pressed length was maybe 0.4 inches more - and so all in all? The size outcome I think is right on track. And again, for week 1, this has quickly slipped to the back of my “give a shit” list 
I just want to HEAL HEAL HEAL now. Honestly, although this might not appear like the most positive first week update, my morale isn’t completely awful or anything like that! I’m trying to stay positive - it’s only been a week and I’m very early on my healing journey. I’m hoping that things start to slowly resolve throughout Week 1 into Week 2. Let’s see where it goes!
