2.5 year update and disclosure question

[prguy3]

Great story!

Even though I would not disclose my abilities in a first date, I would try to tell her before I get married. As others mentioned, relationships are built in trust. If you don't "confess" (which is a horrible word to use in this situation), she will then wonder if you have hidden something else from her. I am sure she has other vulnerable "secrets" that are difficult to share and if she does share them with you, I am sure you will respect (and trust) her even more for sharing it with you. I wouldn't approach it as "my bionic super human dick" that we all brag about here, but rather as what it truly was: Your solution for your erectile dysfunction condition, which thankfully has allowed you to be able to satisfy her in every possible way she can be. The implant is still you. My implant is still me. Our implants allow us to be to show are full potential which was what was taken away from us by ED.

If she truly loves you, I would be shocked if she pushes you away. I believe it might get you guys even closer. Best of luck and keep us updated!

[ElbowRoom]

My opinion differs from many on here, but here it is:

You should tell her. When you marry someone, they become the one person you should be able to tell anything to, your “ride or die” person. Keeping secrets, especially ones material to you sex life, is a horrible way to start a lifelong relationship.

Consider this: when you need a revision, let’s say in ten years, you’ll have to tell her. What will you say? How will you explain that you've have kept something so important and intimate from her? How could she not be hurt and/or angry?

Make her your confidant, not just your concubine.

[CarbonBurrito]

Franklin22, thanks for sharing your success story! as someone who is going through this process and has a consultation with Clavell at the end of this monrth, it's always great to hear positive results.

regarding telling her or not:

I tend to attempt to think about this from the woman's perspective. sometimes, I'll even ask women I know, "I have something I want to do/tell my wife and need your perspective."

women think different, especially in this case. they don't know what it's like for men to struggle with this. what I have found in my marriage is that women want to feel secure. they want to trust you and feel that you trust them. that is the most important aspect of this thread, imo.

I would tell her, but I also wouldn't make a big deal about it. no fancy dinner - don't set her up to think it's a big deal and she will concentrate more on you being honest with her than thinking you have something to tell her. from my experience, the old "I need to tell you something" line always makes people brace themselves for bad news.

if I were in the situation, I think I would actually tell her during sex or right after or maybe let her "catch" you pumping. the human brain will overlook a lot when it's horny. the more non-chalant the better. if she wants to discuss further or explore functionality, make it fun. to her, it's more important that it works than if it's artificial.

just my two cents. have fun with your girl and I wish you two the best.

[sambalamba]

My opinion differs from many on here, but here it is:

You should tell her. When you marry someone, they become the one person you should be able to tell anything to, your “ride or die” person. Keeping secrets, especially ones material to you sex life, is a horrible way to start a lifelong relationship.

Consider this: when you need a revision, let’s say in ten years, you’ll have to tell her. What will you say? How will you explain that you've have kept something so important and intimate from her? How could she not be hurt and/or angry?

Make her your confidant, not just your concubine.

Completely 100% agreed. Couldn't be better said dude.

[Franklin22]

Franklin22, thanks for sharing your success story! as someone who is going through this process and has a consultation with Clavell at the end of this monrth, it's always great to hear positive results.

regarding telling her or not:

I tend to attempt to think about this from the woman's perspective. sometimes, I'll even ask women I know, "I have something I want to do/tell my wife and need your perspective."

women think different, especially in this case. they don't know what it's like for men to struggle with this. what I have found in my marriage is that women want to feel secure. they want to trust you and feel that you trust them. that is the most important aspect of this thread, imo.

I would tell her, but I also wouldn't make a big deal about it. no fancy dinner - don't set her up to think it's a big deal and she will concentrate more on you being honest with her than thinking you have something to tell her. from my experience, the old "I need to tell you something" line always makes people brace themselves for bad news.

if I were in the situation, I think I would actually tell her during sex or right after or maybe let her "catch" you pumping. the human brain will overlook a lot when it's horny. the more non-chalant the better. if she wants to discuss further or explore functionality, make it fun. to her, it's more important that it works than if it's artificial.

just my two cents. have fun with your girl and I wish you two the best.

I really like this advice. I actually almost told her a about 5 months ago after a hot night of sex. I told her, I need to tell you something. And she said "OMG, I feel like you are about to drop a bomb on me. So, it kinda made me go in a shell and not say anything. Now, I believe we have been through so much together since then and I do feel much more safe opening up since this night. I also don't think I'm going to preface it with, " I need to tell you something" this time.

[Franklin22]

My opinion differs from many on here, but here it is:

You should tell her. When you marry someone, they become the one person you should be able to tell anything to, your “ride or die” person. Keeping secrets, especially ones material to you sex life, is a horrible way to start a lifelong relationship.

Consider this: when you need a revision, let’s say in ten years, you’ll have to tell her. What will you say? How will you explain that you've have kept something so important and intimate from her? How could she not be hurt and/or angry?

Make her your confidant, not just your concubine.

That's my biggest fear is her finding out later on when I need a revision and how do I explain a month or 2 without sex.

[ElbowRoom]

My opinion differs from many on here, but here it is:

You should tell her. When you marry someone, they become the one person you should be able to tell anything to, your “ride or die” person. Keeping secrets, especially ones material to you sex life, is a horrible way to start a lifelong relationship.

Consider this: when you need a revision, let’s say in ten years, you’ll have to tell her. What will you say? How will you explain that you've have kept something so important and intimate from her? How could she not be hurt and/or angry?

Make her your confidant, not just your concubine.

That's my biggest fear is her finding out later on when I need a revision and how do I explain a month or 2 without sex.

A month or two without sex is the least of your worries in this scenario. Are you going to hide major surgery from someone you live with and share a bed with? How??

Keep in mind that in a relationship, most women consider lying and withholding information far worse than having a medical problem. She might divorce you if she finds out just for lying to her.

[Old Guy]

Glad to say I never had to deal with this issue being a married man. My wife was supportive throughout my ED days when pills worked, then they didn't, then injections worked, then they didn't. She was hesitant when I mentioned surgery, but now it's been 6 years and she loves my never fail dick.
I have to agree with some others here, tell her. Maybe after sex, maybe before sex, maybe just in everyday conversation, but keeping a secret can lead to bigger issues later. Especially if she is already talking marriage. That has to mean she loves you if she is wanting to commit to a long-term relationship.
Turn this around. What if she has a child you don't know about. Are you going to be fine finding that out after marrying her? Or should you know this before walking the aisle?
Best of luck however you decide to handle this.