Well, to start, I have great news.
- My surgery was approved by insurance, which I wasn’t expecting and am incredibly grateful for.
- Labs + EKG came back good, so cleared for surgery.
- I’m feeling confident in my decision proceeding with MPP on account of many personal factors that make it a great fit for me, which I’ll document in my journal coming up.
However, of course, my nerves are kicking in now that it’s all official! I’ve never been “under the knife” before, so anxious about that. Thinking about things that could go wrong, worried about extreme size loss, etc. All the usual suspects and honestly, just reading threads here on FT at least make me feel better knowing that pretty much EVERYONE here has had all the same fears.
Managing my expectations has been key. For me, I think these are the ones I’m anchored to:
A major “mission accomplished” for me would look like this:
- Successful implantation without infection (this will obviously be something I’ll be monitoring for for awhile).
- The malleable implant bends.
- The malleable implant is concealed (bulge is expected, but “obvious and obnoxious boner” would be a problem).
- The malleable implant becomes more comfortable over time and by 1 year just feels like “a part of me”.
- No “extreme” length loss. For me, my current stretched bone pressed length is a hair over 5 inches. So my GOAL (read as “hope”
) is my final size is around or over 4.5 inches. I’ve always been under average in this area my whole life so I’m not SUPER worried about it to be honest 
but I think I’d be bummed if I end up clocking in closer to 4.0 inches. - Girth doesn’t actually worry me as much - my expectations here are that I’m going to lose girth on account of it being an MPP. I know Urofill is expensive but if I absolutely HATE the girth loss, this is an option and Dr Hakky is a fantastic provider of it (he’s INCREDIBLY cautious with its delivery, treats it with the same infection protocols as an implant, etc). So this one for now is just a “brace yourself for the worst, be pleasantly surprised if it’s not that bad”
- Preservation of PIV orgasm function after a year of healing: this one is tough because I know that there are quite a few guys here who either A) have struggled with this after surgery and it took time to recover, or B) are still struggling after even a full year of healing. My hope is that within a year, I’ll be able to orgasm during PIV sex and am ready for sensation to potentially be less in early stages after surgery (and being cleared to have sex). Even though this is a risk though, I’ve already accepted it. I just want to be able to ENJOY sex without the strain of ED I’ve experienced my entire life, and so even if orgasm is impacted I’m remaining hopeful that I’ll figure something out. Planning on being very patient with this one during recovery.
Want to thank everyone as always for their contributions and consistent support throughout. I’ll be booting up my journal in the next week!
- Johnny
