Yet Another Journal: Waiting for revision

The final frontier. Deciding when, if and how.
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NYCGay
Posts: 114
Joined: Sat Feb 27, 2021 5:04 pm

Re: Yet Another Journal

Postby NYCGay » Tue Oct 21, 2025 4:33 pm

Echegollen wrote:By the way, do you think someone with an implant like you could do a sport like brazilian jiu-jitsu if wearing a cup?


Not that I have tried, but I don't see why the implant would cause any difficulties when doing jiu-jitsu if you wear a cup. Even though the cylinders of the Titan are always somewhat firm inside my dick, as if I have a hint of a quarter erection, I can still easily bend or fold my dick, so it shouldn't be any problem putting it inside a cup, and once there, it shouldn't be in the way. But again, I haven't actually tried this.
Gay man born in 1965. Always had ED. Started injections in 1990.
Implanted by Dr. Eid on 2021-05-11: 24 cm Titan.
My story: https://www.franktalk.org/phpBB3/viewtopic.php?f=6&t=16918
Pics: pre-op: pages 6 and 10; post-op: pages 8, 15, 19, 20.

Texas Otter
Posts: 9
Joined: Tue Sep 09, 2025 4:58 pm

Re: Yet Another Journal

Postby Texas Otter » Tue Oct 21, 2025 6:13 pm

Hi NYCGay. I was implanted with a CX 21 cm and 2 RTE in 2015. At that time I was married to a woman and have 3 daughters. My wife and I separated in 2021 and I came out. I have been having a lot of gay sex since then. I talked to my urologist about the reduction in rigidity after 10-15 minutes of intense thrusting. He recommended that I get a revision to a Coloplast which I am scheduled for on 11/12/2025. Do you use a VED with your Coloplast and cockrings. I have been doing that with the CX and it gets really girthy.

Echegollen
Posts: 156
Joined: Sun Feb 01, 2015 12:40 pm
Location: Canada

Re: Yet Another Journal

Postby Echegollen » Fri Oct 24, 2025 9:56 pm

NYCGay wrote:Not that I have tried, but I don't see why the implant would cause any difficulties when doing jiu-jitsu if you wear a cup. Even though the cylinders of the Titan are always somewhat firm inside my dick, as if I have a hint of a quarter erection, I can still easily bend or fold my dick, so it shouldn't be any problem putting it inside a cup, and once there, it shouldn't be in the way. But again, I haven't actually tried this.


Thanks for the reply!

So are you still having fun with your implant? Would you say you are having the best sex you've ever had?
I'm 39 years old. Never was able to maintain my erections for more than 1 minute. Pills don't work. Had sclerotherapy by Dr. Kuehhas in Austria in 2016. Didn't work. Injections (Caverject) are the only things that gave me acceptable results.

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NYCGay
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Re: Yet Another Journal

Postby NYCGay » Tue Nov 04, 2025 3:29 pm

Update 4 1/2 years in. Part 1: The Life and Sex of an Implantee.

This update about my implant and my sex life will be in two parts.
• Part 1 will be a summary of how things have been working for me these last few years.
• Part 2 will be about the situation right now.

On the whole, I’ve been very happy with my implant and the sex life it has enabled me to have. I assume that how one feels about one’s implant depends on what one is comparing it with. In a perfect world, I would have preferred to have a cock that got and stayed rock hard on its own, just from me getting aroused – but I’ve never had that, not even when I was young. (Or perhaps I did when I was fifteen, but I didn’t start having sex until I was twenty-three, and by then, I could not maintain a good erection. I was on injections by the time I was twenty-five.) I don’t love having a firm rubber bulb in my ballsack, causing guys who fondle my ball to wonder what it is I’ve got in there, but I’m okay with it. The upside of having the implant has been so much greater than the downsides for me.

The implant has enabled me to both have more satisfying sex with my husband, and also to have an extensive and rewarding extramarital sex life. Hooking up can be a lot of fun, and it feels great knowing that I can always deliver, especially when someone makes clear that he likes to bottom and wants a good pounding.

For the last three years, I’ve enjoyed a somewhat regular affair with a handsome and charming guy in his early thirties. The first time I met him, at a Christmas party, he asked, by way of idle conversation, if both me and my husband were tops, thereby making it pretty clear what he was looking for. Back in the days when I was on the injections, this would have filled me with a mix of pride and worry: pride that he wanted me to fuck him, and worry that I wasn’t up to the task; the injections only gave me a semi-erection, which usually started flagging way too fast. Would I get hard enough for long enough to give him what he wanted? With the implant, I knew I would.

I’m no more immune to male vanity than most men, and I love it when this guy texts me that he needs me to fuck him right now, and that my cock is “unmatched” (an exaggeration, of course, but, hey, I lick it up) and that he loves feeling it press against him and thinking he won’t be able to take it all, until I ram it all in and start pounding. And I love feeling his ass squeeze my shaft while I watch the rapture on his face.

I don’t see him more than once a month, or every other month, but when we do see each other, we always spend the whole night together, usually starting with dinner and drinks, and ending it with coffee the next morning before he heads out. It’s an affair that goes beyond just sex. We’ve been to the opera together a few times, and he spent a weekend with me once when my husband was out of town (with my husband’s approval). But even though our interaction goes beyond just sex, it wouldn’t have happened without the sex, and even if it had, it wouldn’t have been the same. He treats me as if he thinks I’m the hottest daddy ever, and I enjoy that. I wouldn’t have been able to play that part without this reliably hard cock, for which he expresses such admiration and craving.

He, by the way, has a sizable cock of his own, which typically stay perfectly hard while I fuck him, but he has never shown the least inclination to switch roles.

But I fantasize about it sometimes. Now that I get so much positive attention for my dick, and I’m not plagued by worry that it will disappoint, it can actually also be a thrill to have it ignored, in favor of other parts of my body. On vacation in Cairo, my husband and I hooked up with a local guy whom we found on one of the apps. Hooking up in Egypt can be dangerous when you’re gay; apparently, the police sometimes use the apps to trap people. So we made a date with him, not for sex – absolutely not! – but just for him to show us a museum. Only after spending a few hours together did we head to our hotel for drinks in the bar, and then finally up to our room for sex. He was in his late twenties, slenderly built, but with an unproportionally large dick that got and stayed perfectly hard. But I might as well not have had any penis at all, given his lack of attention to it; I literally had to put it in his hand for him to give it a couple of desultory strokes. He was affectionate and eager to kiss, but what he was after was clearly not dick; he wanted ass! For me, that was a great turn-on. (You straight guys who’ve never been fucked don’t know what you’re missing out on: not primarily the physical feeling itself, which, in all honesty, takes some getting used to, but the thrill in giving up control and submitting to another man’s masculine power.)

Some physical attributes of my implanted dick:
• Length: about 7”; the same as before I got the implant. My girth before the implant was 6.7”, with part of that coming from the shaft bulging out on one side. With the implant, that bulge largely went away, and my girth was only 5.7”. With time, this has increased to 6”.
• Hardness: hard enough to easily penetrate an ass, even a tight one, and even though I would not describe it as hard as steel, or hard enough to hammer a nail, it’s still hard enough for me. When getting fucked myself, I prefer a cock that has some flexibility to it, like a stiff rubber baton, rather than a steel rod.
• Angle: three o’clock. It’s beautiful to behold hard cocks that point to the sky. I would love to have one of those myself, but I’m reasonably happy with mine pointing straight out.

Another thing that the implant has enabled me to indulge is my exhibitionism. Think what you will of me, but I love showing off. There is a nudist party at a gay bar in New York once a month. It’s labeled as a social, not sexual, event, but sometime after midnight, that distinction just melts down. You get introduced to someone new, and instead of shaking hands, you might heft his cock, fondle it and feel its weight, and he might do the same to you. Towards the end of the night, anything goes, but it’s still different from a pure sex party. You chat with guys, but you fondle them too, or pay someone the compliment of kneeling before him and sucking his cock, or accept the same compliment from him. It feels naughty and fun. Even though I’m clearly at the upper end of the age range, I find myself quite popular. In the throng, it’s easy enough to put a hand on my ballsack, as if giving it a scratch, but really squeezing the pump a few times, giving myself a quarter erection, a half erection, or a three-quarters erection, depending on what feels appropriate at the moment. After making out with someone, I might push my way to the bar to get a drink without deflating first. I guess that’s how I get popular.

I occasionally went to similar events back when I was on the injections, but it was not the same. There was the issue of having to occupy a bathroom long enough to inject and press down on the injection site for a few minutes, or I might end up with a huge, unsightly bruise. And even injected, I never got more than semi-hard, and since the effect only lasted for forty-five minutes or so, I had to decide when during the night I wanted my forty-five minutes of sexual play. With the implant, I can inflate (partway or wholly) and deflate (partway or wholly) several times as my interactions with the other bar guests glide pleasantly back and forth between social and sexual.

I’ve also been three times to the small village of Zipolite in southern Mexico, which supposedly has Mexico’s only legally nude beach. During the daytime, most people are actually not nude, though some are. Towards sunset, the gays congregate by the bar at one end of the beach, and there is significantly more nudity. And when the sun has set and darkness falls, there is a lot of action at the very furthest part of the beach. It’s the same fun, friendly and naughty atmosphere as at the New York bar I described above, but even better, because it’s outdoors, under the open sky, in a beautiful setting. And at such an event, it is fun to have a hard, good-sized dick to flaunt.

Any worries for the future? Well, I assume that the party won’t last forever. My implant lets me feel popular now, even in crowds where I’m older than almost everybody else. But eventually, I expect that I will just be too old for most other guys’ taste, hard cock or not. At sixty, I don’t even know if I can honestly call myself a daddy any longer; grand-daddy is more like it, and I don’t think there is any gay sexual category after grand-daddy; I’m on the last one.

This fear that it may soon be over makes me think about the importance I’ve assigned to my sex-life, and specifically to the extra-marital part of it. A significant part of my social life is in fact a combination of social and sexual. I kind of enjoy that, but it will require some adjustment and rearrangement when my power to attract wanes. I think aging in general is easier to cope with for people who have children and grandchildren to focus your attention on. Not having that, it easily happens that you try to cling to living as if you were in your early twenties forever: fucking around, sowing your wild oats, experimenting and having fun. Nothing wrong with that, except, again, it won’t last forever.

But for now, I’m happy to be able to enjoy an exciting, promiscuous sex life, while also being in a devoted marriage with a man I’ve been with for over two decades.

Well, that’s a summary of my life with the implant – as it was up until Saturday night a little over two weeks ago, when it all changed. But that will be the topic of my next post.
Gay man born in 1965. Always had ED. Started injections in 1990.
Implanted by Dr. Eid on 2021-05-11: 24 cm Titan.
My story: https://www.franktalk.org/phpBB3/viewtopic.php?f=6&t=16918
Pics: pre-op: pages 6 and 10; post-op: pages 8, 15, 19, 20.

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NYCGay
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Re: Yet Another Journal

Postby NYCGay » Fri Nov 07, 2025 9:09 am

Update 4 1/2 years in. Part 2: It Was Fun While it Lasted.

In my post earlier week, I summed up what it’s been like having the implant these last four and a half years. I will now turn to my current situation.

Saturday night three weeks ago, I went to a gay bar in New York where there is typically quite a bit of action going on in some corners during the later part of the night. I had switched out of the double-breasted black tuxedo I’d worn for an event earlier in the night and put on workman’s pants with suspenders, and no shirt. Having loose-fitting pants held up by suspenders rather than a belt makes it easy for myself, as well as for others, to slide a hand down inside the pants, and I was going commando.

Chatting with some friends in the semi-darkness, I discretely reached down to give the pump a few squeezes, just to be prepared for later. After pressing the bulb about five times, it failed to reinflate. I pressed the release valve and tried again: same result: the bulb stayed compressed. This usually happens only after I’ve pressed the pump about fifty times. I’ve taken that to mean that the reservoir is empty so that there is no more liquid to fill the bulb. But now it happened after just five compression, leaving me just slightly engorged and unable to pump up any further.

Back home, I scrutinized my equipment more carefully. No pain, no visible signs of anything wrong.

On the following Monday, I called Dr. Eid’s office and got an appointment the same day. After a quick examination, Dr. Eid concluded that one of the tubes to the pump had broken. This, he told me, is a common problem with the Titan OTR (One-Touch Release). Out of the Titan OTRs he has put in guys, eight percent have broken down like this.

As for the remedy: revision surgery to replace the whole system. The reservoir could be kept, he said, but is so easy to replace that too that he thought it better to get everything new. And this time he would give me the older Titan, with the Classic pump, which has proven to hold up better.

I already knew that Dr. Eid doesn’t take my current insurance, so I asked if he could recommend some other surgeon. He gave me a name in Miami (not the famous Dr. Perito; someone else). The work he had seen by other surgeons in New York hadn’t impressed him, he said.

I would rather stay with Dr. Eid, but even with the out-of-pocket discount his office offered me, it would be quite expensive. Luckily, I’m able to switch to another insurance company next year, and thanks to the Affordable Care Act, you are allowed to shop around for an insurance plan that covers a pre-existing condition. So I will stay with Dr. Eid and switch to an insurance he accepts, and put off the revision till the beginning of January.

Till then, I’m impotent, more completely so than I was before I got the implant. Back then, using a combination of trimix, viagra, and a cockring, I could get some kind of semi-erection. Now there’s nothing. Well, close to nothing: My dick is sometimes just a tiny bit engorged when I wake up in the middle of the night to go to the bathroom, and it also gets that way when I jerk off. I guess there is still live erectile tissue in the corpora, but it’s just the slightest turgidity; very far from anything that anyone would call an erection. And I’m not going to try sticking hypodermic needles into my dick now that I have the cylinders in there, even though they are to be replaced. So: till I’ve had the revision, I’m impotent.

I have lived without sex before. I didn’t lose my virginity until I was 23 (with a woman; a very disappointing experience for both of us), and didn’t start having sex with men till I was 24 (more enticing to me, but also disappointing, since I discovered that I had ED). If I could live without sex during those years of raging hormones, then I should be able to do it for a couple of months now, at this calmer and more mature age.

Yes, of course I can, but I’m not happy about it.

Referring back to my previous post, I feel like a gay (grand)daddy who’s been living as if I were in my early twenties, fucking around and sowing my wild oats, enjoying being appreciated and in demand, and regretting that it won’t last forever. I don’t know if I’m making myself happy or unhappy with this desperate chase, but I feel driven to make the most, sexually, of these remaining years, while I’m still viable on the sex market. It’s frustrating to have to put the play on hold, while the aging relentlessly continues. It also makes it clear to me how much of my self-confidence I’ve based on my implant-enabled sexual prowess.

Part of the story here, emotionally, is that I’ve run into a dead end career-wise. I had a modest literary career in my country of origin, but it fizzled some fifteen years ago. By now, I’m largely forgotten. I tried to reinvent myself in another field, and for a while, it seemed to work out quite well, but then that fizzled too. After my employer relocated, forcing me to leave my job, I find myself unemployed and without any particularly exciting prospects. Financially, I’m comfortable, thanks to savings and a successful husband, but I don’t have those stereotypical markers of male status: an interesting career and a good salary. Status is a shallow thing, and I try not to care about it, but, hey, that’s easier said than done.

So I’ve sought validation in other areas. No, I don’t have a career or a good salary, but I did have another stereotypical marker of male status: a hefty and (thanks to the implant) reliably hard cock with which to impress and satisfy other men.

It’s curious how upside-down things have turned out, compared with what I would have expected when I was younger. Being sixty seems absolutely disqualifying on the labor market. But on the gay sex market, being sixty doesn’t seem to be any problem at all. On the contrary, being a reasonable fit (grand)daddy seems to make you quite in demand. But playing that role requires a hard cock.

Not to end this post on too morose a note: I’m not heartbroken, I’m not devastated. I just feel frustrated and a little down. But I have a wonderful and supportive (and handsome and muscular) husband, and that makes all the difference.
Gay man born in 1965. Always had ED. Started injections in 1990.
Implanted by Dr. Eid on 2021-05-11: 24 cm Titan.
My story: https://www.franktalk.org/phpBB3/viewtopic.php?f=6&t=16918
Pics: pre-op: pages 6 and 10; post-op: pages 8, 15, 19, 20.

LetoMan
Posts: 272
Joined: Tue Apr 09, 2024 1:25 pm

Re: Yet Another Journal: Waiting for revision

Postby LetoMan » Sat Nov 08, 2025 3:52 am

Hey Brother,

Appreciate those last two updates to your journal. I can tell you are a writer! I’m off from you age wise by 10 years, and we have different sexual orientations. But I was struck by how much commonality I had with your themes… aging, knowing that whatever blissful moment we have as “Daddies” will someday come to an end, finding a new identity as a hard-dicked lothario after a lifetime of ED. I think for those of us that never had a period of a reliably hard dick, this implanted period is bittersweet… it’s amazing to finally have this power we always craved, but at the same time it’s sad to think back to what could have been had we not had the problems for so long.

I’m sure you’ll get fixed up soon and will be back to having a great old time.

Be well,
Leto
50. Implanted 5/21/2024 at Kaiser SSF. AMS 700 CX 21cm, 3cm RTE. Penoscrotal. Venous leak my whole life. Pills helped, but hated the side effects; worked less as I aged. Skipped injections. Grateful to bionic brotherhood that helped me make this decision.

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AussiePete
Posts: 187
Joined: Tue Sep 17, 2019 5:00 am
Location: Perth, Australia

Re: Yet Another Journal: Waiting for revision

Postby AussiePete » Sat Nov 08, 2025 5:28 am

NYCGay
Sad to hear of your implant failure. Best wishes for a speedy recovery from your revision surgery.
Pete
Born 1949, RP 2001, Radiation. Pills, Caverject, Tri-mix Injections all useless. Implanted 2016 AMS 700 LGX 15cm +3 RTE. Happy to have a working dick!
Married 45 yrs.
Up for show and tell here in Perth, AU.

Courage
Posts: 201
Joined: Thu Oct 26, 2023 8:51 pm

Re: Yet Another Journal

Postby Courage » Sat Nov 08, 2025 8:10 am

NYCGay wrote:It’s curious how upside-down things have turned out, compared with what I would have expected when I was younger. Being sixty seems absolutely disqualifying on the labor market. But on the gay sex market, being sixty doesn’t seem to be any problem at all. On the contrary, being a reasonable fit (grand)daddy seems to make you quite in demand. But playing that role requires a hard cock.


Fingers crossed for you, man. I'm starting my own journey after a lifetime of trouble--first with the closet and then, working my way out, discovering I couldn't get it up sufficiently for penetration. After a lot of trouble I have a working implant and on Friday got my first PreP script.

Guys like you are an inspiration. I'm hoping to do half as well in my second half.
Middle-aged SGM with lifelong ED. AMS 700 CX 21cm + 3.5cm RTEs implanted January 2025 and explanted due to infection February 2025, with salvage. Revision to Coloplast Titan 24cm + 1cm RTE July 2025.

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GoodWood
Posts: 1350
Joined: Sun Jun 16, 2019 1:07 pm

Re: Yet Another Journal: Waiting for revision

Postby GoodWood » Sat Nov 08, 2025 11:13 am

I really appreciate the openness and clarity in the way you share your experience. I identify quite a bit with the themes of aging, sexual prowess and its relationship to identity and self worth.
I also identify with the power of a supportive husband.

When you gave me a show and tell you demonstrated how the one touch pump was really the only tell that might tip off a partner that something was different. The good news is that the classic pump doesn’t have squared off edges. I’ve had guys hungrily sucking on the pump with no idea that it wasn’t my testicle. Lots of hands and mouths on it and no one noticed I have an IPP.

Best wishes for an early surgical date and a speedy recovery.
57yo, NYC. ED started at 40. Pills, then shots for 10 years. 24cm Coloplast Titan XL w/classic pump by Dr Eid 3/25/2025. Will meet for show & tell.
Implant journal: [url] viewtopic.php?f=6&t=26225[/url]

Jgoody
Posts: 132
Joined: Tue Jun 04, 2024 9:59 pm

Re: Yet Another Journal: Waiting for revision

Postby Jgoody » Sat Nov 08, 2025 11:18 am

What a great write up! After reading through your experience I'm really rooting for you. I'm actually saddened to read your implant has failed you. You sound like a very interesting & perspective human so I'm sure you at least appreciate how much fun you had despite your current situation.

Reading of your experience really makes me wish I was gay because God damn those clubs & the openness of it all sounds amazing lol. I'm about a year & half post op & really hoping to get some good long use out of mine. I too went pretty hard on mine earlier in the process, making up for my inability to slay on demand without pills or injections all those years. I've somewhat calmed down recently & am no longer on testosterone so I'm not quite as overwhelmingly horny as I was currently, which helps.

But I just wanted to drop a line as I sit here snuggling my 2 Frenchies, that I feel for you, really appreciate your write ups & am sending good vibes. I'm glad you're able to get a revision & hope I'm able to as well when the time comes- I had to pay out of pocket first go around so hopefully my insurance will be a different plan come that dark day. Sending love from Seattle brother
43 yrs old- Titan 24cm + 1cm rte penoscrotal 125ml reservoir- implanted 6/28/24 by Dr Walsh University of Washington


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