Sad Recipient

[hectorm64]

AMS 700
Placed 3/7/25 by Dr. Clavell
53 single gay male
Houston, TX

I am not happy with my implant.
I have been a level depressive most of my life and was hoping this could help me feel more like a man. Maybe that was unfair of me. With all the issues, I don't even want to try having sex anymore. Even performing the bottom role as a gay man, the only thought is " What if they touch it (it is going to hurt, what will they think, will they be grossed out,....)". I do understand, that is my issue. I even have instances at 20 yrs old of not being able to perform. Having this my whole life is defeating. All I can see is that I can't do the normal thing that men are supposed to be able to do. Or even have an encounter of " we are so into each other, we have to do it".
I didn't have anyone going through this with me and understanding the expectations at the end. The gay life (unlike the st8 life , I am assuming) is more spontaneous sex meetings and less planned, progressing to this point, encounters.

The issues
I feel pain/hurt/discomfort everyday. I have to get out of my car differently. Usually you would turn and lean forward and pull up. Now I have to pull my butt up off the seat before I start the upward motion. The way I sleep has changed and getting out of bed is more of a thought process than just rolling over.
I knew the pump was large. But seeing it does really prepare you for the feeling when it is done. My pump sits way up to the top left. It is tight to the bottom of the shaft. In my mind, I don't feel that the tubing has enough slack. I understand too much would allow it to move and twist, but I feel there should be a little more to allow the pump to settle lower and between the testicles. It is hard to grab above the top of the pump with the right hand (to hold it from sliding upward) and squeeze the very hard pump with the left hand while the right hand is still in the way of the penis. The scrotum has an unusual full feeling and sticks to the legs much more.
I can feel the whole thing externally, so I know that others touching me can tell. I can feel the caps at the end of the tubes. The hub where the tubes split down to the pump.
I have not noticed any increase in length. I wouldn't even say it feels the size it was. I can feel the tubing at the base and the caps at the tip and I don't see any more distance for increase.
The worst part to me, after going through this is that the penis and at least the upper part of the scrotum is numb. I don't even feel much of anything when i fuck.

Thanks for listening

Hey man,
I can feel your pain.
You did the right thing by reaching out to us. We are a big family and we support each other the best I can.
I will send you my phone number to your PM. Call me if you feel comfortable talking.
You are not alone, we are all by your side.
Big hug.
Hector

[Kodixx]

Nostori, I am sorry to hear of your challenges. Be confident many hear listen and help with very good suggestions. I had a rough recovery and could not start cycling until almost 8 weeks due to excessive edema and hematoma. And I couldn't do much until after 10 weeks.
Hopefully some of what you are experiencing is due to still recovering. The suggestion above to write out questions for the Dr is good, that's how I do it. Many have said that it takes 3-6 months to recover full sensitivity. Regarding pump position, have you been pulling down on it, and does it move down ? If not this is good to work on and maybe a starting point for your next contact with the Dr. For me, I had to sit and stand very carefully until around 12 weeks. It is hard to feel bad for so long, but many would say that it takes 3-6 months before really feeling the full benefit and advantages of the implant. Best wishes for healing and progress.

- Chuck

I don't know guys. It's just me whining. I been in a low place lately anyway and I am a downer. Just thanks for reading. It feels better that someone is listening.

[HikerMan]

Brother,

You are still very early in your recovery.
The times vary greatly between people to fully heal.

This WILL get better.
Hang in there.

PM me if you want to talk.

Best wishes

[fucked0ne]

I think your problem—excepting the pump placement, which is fixable—is the depression. You’ve only had the implant for a REALLY short time; it takes about six months for all the swelling and discomfort to subside. See how you feel in a year. That’s really not a long wait. In the meantime, cycle.

[Mark1974]

I think it is good to express your discontent.

That said, you can only fix the things that can be fixed. You will mostly likely acclimate to the new normal, even it is disappointing compared to how you envisioned.

The best thing mentally is to focus on fixing the implant issues that can be fixed and hopefully in one surgery. For me that would be to replace the whole thing with a semi-rigid, but many guys don't like them. You have a great surgeon who can resolve the implant-related issues you mentioned.

All the other stuff about worrying about partners being disgusted, most of us who are single worry about that, but you can only move forward.