First sex - awful

[Ephi82]

I had my six week appointment yesterday with Dr Carrion and he cleared me for sex. I’ve complained previously on Franktalk about numbness. Dr Carrion says the sensation should return over time.

I fucked my girlfriend last night and this morning for the first time in a year. You’d think it would be fantastic. It wasn’t. My dick is numb. I couldn’t tell whether my dick was inside her or not. While I couldn’t tell whether go as long as I wanted, what’s the point. An orgasm simply seems impossible right now, though I was able to have them before this operation. I wasn’t enjoying it and neither was she.

One comment really got to me. My girlfriend said,”when I have sex with a guy, I get him hard and I know he’s turned on. That turns me on. You pump it up. It all seems so mechanical. Are you just going through the motions?”


I don’t know how to overcome this one. She says that having sex with a guy with an implant isn’t weird, but apparently it is for her.


I’m hoping for better times in the future. Right now, I’m pretty discouraged.

I’m sorry to hear that you are having these issues. Prior to surgery, did you have full feelings in your cock and did you have orgasms ( even if your cock was limp?)

I agree that you are still early in your recovery, so if your nerves were bruised, they’ll come back with time. If you don’t improve, might be time for a second opinion. Was your incision above your penis or on your scrotum?

As far as your girlfriend, I think she could be more supportive of you. She needs to be educated and taught that a man with an implant will continue to feel excitement and arousal with a woman, if she’s a good lover! A man with an implant can also have an orgasm whether the penis is pumped and erect, or not!

So NOTHING changes in having sex with an implant except the mechanism of erection. If she can’t wrap her mind around this, time for a new girlfriend.

[Kodixx]

Handyman, congrats on being back in the saddle again ! You're right, it does get better and better over several months.

- Chuck

Had my first sex w implant last night, also about 6 weeks post surgery . I was delighted to be hard. Wife was excited for me (and her) It felt great to feel warmth but awkward and at times uncomfortable. Overall a C-. Looking forward to the experience improving over time.

[SWorks17]

I had my six week appointment yesterday with Dr Carrion and he cleared me for sex. I’ve complained previously on Franktalk about numbness. Dr Carrion says the sensation should return over time.

I fucked my girlfriend last night and this morning for the first time in a year. You’d think it would be fantastic. It wasn’t. My dick is numb. I couldn’t tell whether my dick was inside her or not. While I couldn’t tell whether go as long as I wanted, what’s the point. An orgasm simply seems impossible right now, though I was able to have them before this operation. I wasn’t enjoying it and neither was she.

One comment really got to me. My girlfriend said,”when I have sex with a guy, I get him hard and I know he’s turned on. That turns me on. You pump it up. It all seems so mechanical. Are you just going through the motions?”


I don’t know how to overcome this one. She says that having sex with a guy with an implant isn’t weird, but apparently it is for her.


I’m hoping for better times in the future. Right now, I’m pretty discouraged.

Osprey, I'm sorry about your first experience with your new Bionic Dick, things will definitely get better.
When I was cleared for sex and cycling the implant at 6 weeks, I still had too much pain, numbness
and I could barely get past 20 minutes of max inflation without crying uncle.
I waited till week 8 to have PIV sex and I felt that I was ready. I was horny and ready for sex again with my wifey, I pumped up as much as I could ahead of time to be ready when we started foreplay I was already having some pain in my shaft and glans. When I mounted my wifey, it was awkward because I was already having pain and I could tell that there was some numbness because it was difficult to find my wife's hole and slide in. Sex didn't last very long because I was hurting too much, but it was good to have some sex with a hard dick again.
Like you said in your post

It was awful and not pleasurable

. I was thinking the same things that you spoke about in your post, am I ever going to be able to enjoy sex again. I emailed my doc and told him about the extreme pain that I had and he said that I over did it and just to take baby steps; my dick throbbed with pain for two days.
I'm thankful that I have an understanding wife who was supportive and encouraging during those first experiences with my new Bionic Dick. Yes, I agree with some of the other FrankTalk brothers that your girlfriend is not supporting your journey and you should find another girlfriend. I disagree with your girlfriend about the mechanical aspect of the implant, we do desire our wives and girlfriends and would love to get that throbbing hard dick that we use to have but now we have something that will work and work when we want it to work. After I fully healed, sex was great again, I could pump up to the max ahead of time and be 100 precent ready to penetrate my wifey when she is wet and ready for my dick. My wife likes my dick to be steel rod hard, the harder the better.
Hang in there Osprey, things will get better and sex will get better, it does take time for all the nerves to come back.

SWorks

[Nocturne]

I’m hoping for better times in the future. Right now, I’m pretty discouraged.

Hey Osprey.
I have not had an implant (yet), but I know I am ultimately headed there. Could take years, IDK.

I read your OP and have thought about it for a few days.
The numbness sucks but like others are saying here, it will likely get better with time.
Not that I wouldn’t be terrified that it was permanent - I would be - but it’s probably going to get better. I don’t think permanent anorgasmia from an implant is a likely outcome.
As for your partner - I see a few people here condemning her for her words, and yeah, they seem to show a lack of empathy. On the other hand, some people are just brutally honest and maybe she’s being that. I don’t know you, her, or your relationship, but I’m going to go on the assumption that you both love and care about each other.
With that assumption, and placing her words in the most positive light:
I can see why she would feel disappointed that you are not having orgasms, and self conscious about the fact that she is not “making” you hard. Some women can take ED kind of hard if they get it into their head that they just aren’t attractive to their partners anymore.
Maybe you might try reassuring her with a few points:
* You had this surgery in part BECAUSE you were attracted to her, not because you weren’t. And not just that, you had it because you wanted her to be able to enjoy PIV sex with you again. The fact that you aren’t cumming inside of her right now sucks, but it is hopefully temporary and in the meantime you want HER to be able to enjoy what you can now provide her, that you could not for so long. And you want that for her because you care about her.
* Has she ever had sex with you and not had an orgasm? Did she enjoy giving you pleasure despite that? If so - tell her that now it’s YOUR turn, at least for a little while. You want to do for her what she did for you. And giving her orgasms (especially on your now hard and reliable cock) gives YOU pleasure, even if you don’t cum yourself. Make sure she knows that. And it wouldn’t hurt to let her know that one of the reasons you care about her is that she is special to you (not that you are projecting that she isn’t, it’s just that she might be insecure).
* Numbness sucks but does it suck as much as an unreliable, floppy cock? I imagine it would feel good to rail your lover for as long as she wants you to, and bring her to multiple orgasms, even if you weren’t going to have one yourself. I imagine it would feel better than being incapable of penetration, or even having to worry about whether or not your dick is going to work this time.
* Tell her that when she is feeling finished, you want her to give you a “countdown” from 10 to 0, and at 0 you have to stop even if you haven’t orgasmed. She can make the countdown as slow and sexy and teasing as she wants. In the past, when I had difficulty with orgasm, my wife did this for me and I found the whole experience to be kind of hot, and it often brought me over the edge. Maybe it would work for you.
* Be patient with yourself, and her, but let her know that you need her to do the same. This is a new reality for both of you, and healing takes time.
* Did you ever have a vasectomy? If so, remember that this is not the first surgery you have had to make sex more convenient for both of you.
* Overall, just try to reassure her that you did this for her as much as you did it for yourself, and the lack of erection without a pump is purely mechanical, and has nothing to do with HER or how you feel about her. You went through a major surgery just so you could pleasure her again like you did in the old days - and honestly, that means more than some younger version of you popping wood for her because he saw her bra strap. For both of your sakes, I hope she can see that too.

Best of luck, and speedy recovery.

[SWorks17]

I’m hoping for better times in the future. Right now, I’m pretty discouraged.

Hey Osprey.
I have not had an implant (yet), but I know I am ultimately headed there. Could take years, IDK.

I read your OP and have thought about it for a few days.
The numbness sucks but like others are saying here, it will likely get better with time.
Not that I wouldn’t be terrified that it was permanent - I would be - but it’s probably going to get better. I don’t think permanent anorgasmia from an implant is a likely outcome.
As for your partner - I see a few people here condemning her for her words, and yeah, they seem to show a lack of empathy. On the other hand, some people are just brutally honest and maybe she’s being that. I don’t know you, her, or your relationship, but I’m going to go on the assumption that you both love and care about each other.
With that assumption, and placing her words in the most positive light:
I can see why she would feel disappointed that you are not having orgasms, and self conscious about the fact that she is not “making” you hard. Some women can take ED kind of hard if they get it into their head that they just aren’t attractive to their partners anymore.
Maybe you might try reassuring her with a few points:
* You had this surgery in part BECAUSE you were attracted to her, not because you weren’t. And not just that, you had it because you wanted her to be able to enjoy PIV sex with you again. The fact that you aren’t cumming inside of her right now sucks, but it is hopefully temporary and in the meantime you want HER to be able to enjoy what you can now provide her, that you could not for so long. And you want that for her because you care about her.
* Has she ever had sex with you and not had an orgasm? Did she enjoy giving you pleasure despite that? If so - tell her that now it’s YOUR turn, at least for a little while. You want to do for her what she did for you. And giving her orgasms (especially on your now hard and reliable cock) gives YOU pleasure, even if you don’t cum yourself. Make sure she knows that. And it wouldn’t hurt to let her know that one of the reasons you care about her is that she is special to you (not that you are projecting that she isn’t, it’s just that she might be insecure).
* Numbness sucks but does it suck as much as an unreliable, floppy cock? I imagine it would feel good to rail your lover for as long as she wants you to, and bring her to multiple orgasms, even if you weren’t going to have one yourself. I imagine it would feel better than being incapable of penetration, or even having to worry about whether or not your dick is going to work this time.
* Tell her that when she is feeling finished, you want her to give you a “countdown” from 10 to 0, and at 0 you have to stop even if you haven’t orgasmed. She can make the countdown as slow and sexy and teasing as she wants. In the past, when I had difficulty with orgasm, my wife did this for me and I found the whole experience to be kind of hot, and it often brought me over the edge. Maybe it would work for you.
* Be patient with yourself, and her, but let her know that you need her to do the same. This is a new reality for both of you, and healing takes time.
* Did you ever have a vasectomy? If so, remember that this is not the first surgery you have had to make sex more convenient for both of you.
* Overall, just try to reassure her that you did this for her as much as you did it for yourself, and the lack of erection without a pump is purely mechanical, and has nothing to do with HER or how you feel about her. You went through a major surgery just so you could pleasure her again like you did in the old days - and honestly, that means more than some younger version of you popping wood for her because he saw her bra strap. For both of your sakes, I hope she can see that too.

Best of luck, and speedy recovery.

Niiiice Nocturne, I love this!

Helping out guys who have a new Bionic Dick on their recovery journey and you don't even have one yet!
Props to you my friend for helping a FrankTalk brother, I hope you get your Bionic Dick sooner than later.

SWorks

[hankthefrank]

7 reasons why ur dick might be numb

1 low testosterone

2 high serotonin

3 high prolactin

4 surgery/or injury to the penis (u have to let the penis heal it could take years for penis to heal fully)

5 low dopamine

6 pssd which should heal over time.

7 anxiety stress depression which could affect ur performance in bed u have to be comfortable first

[Alex258]

I had my six week appointment yesterday with Dr Carrion and he cleared me for sex. I’ve complained previously on Franktalk about numbness. Dr Carrion says the sensation should return over time.

I fucked my girlfriend last night and this morning for the first time in a year. You’d think it would be fantastic. It wasn’t. My dick is numb. I couldn’t tell whether my dick was inside her or not. While I couldn’t tell whether go as long as I wanted, what’s the point. An orgasm simply seems impossible right now, though I was able to have them before this operation. I wasn’t enjoying it and neither was she.

One comment really got to me. My girlfriend said,”when I have sex with a guy, I get him hard and I know he’s turned on. That turns me on. You pump it up. It all seems so mechanical. Are you just going through the motions?”


I don’t know how to overcome this one. She says that having sex with a guy with an implant isn’t weird, but apparently it is for her.


I’m hoping for better times in the future. Right now, I’m pretty discouraged.

I’m sorry to hear that you are having these issues. Prior to surgery, did you have full feelings in your cock and did you have orgasms ( even if your cock was limp?)

I agree that you are still early in your recovery, so if your nerves were bruised, they’ll come back with time. If you don’t improve, might be time for a second opinion. Was your incision above your penis or on your scrotum?

As far as your girlfriend, I think she could be more supportive of you. She needs to be educated and taught that a man with an implant will continue to feel excitement and arousal with a woman, if she’s a good lover! A man with an implant can also have an orgasm whether the penis is pumped and erect, or not!

So NOTHING changes in having sex with an implant except the mechanism of erection. If she can’t wrap her mind around this, time for a new girlfriend.

Over two years in here. First sex at 7 weeks. it felt weird, I felt nothing and it was this way for maybe a few weeks. After that it got much better and after lets say one year and I'd say that it feels like my original penis. My wife at first wasn't comfy but that too completely changed. Healing and growth takes time.

[Nocturne]

Helping out guys who have a new Bionic Dick on their recovery journey and you don't even have one yet!
Props to you my friend for helping a FrankTalk brother, I hope you get your Bionic Dick sooner than later.
SWorks

Well, I wouldn’t presume to have more experience than any of you good people, but in this case I think a large part of the problem is less mechanical/surgical and more interpersonal.

Funny, my wife and I just had a very serious conversation about a future implant, this morning. I know she’s behind me on this and will be by my side through the whole process when the time comes; and that’s a big part of the battle too, I think.
We’re vaguely planning to set up a meeting with a surgeon just to talk about the future.
Meanwhile, I’m giving things until the end of the summer to get better. That’s about how long it took to start to return to a semblance of normality last time, ten years ago.
I don’t think I want to go the VED and injections route. Would rather skip that and get to the good stuff.