Scared

[jfruedam]

The title just sums things up, I'm just scared of what will be of me. I am writing this with tears in my eyes because I honestly don't know what the fuck to do anymore. I feel emasculated due to this ED torment, and when I thought I found some hope, I come here just to read about the amount of step backs and issues people that have gone through with the implant face. Seems like if you don't go with one of the top dogs you are screwed, or are playing Russian roulette. Unfortunately for me, my only option is to play that roulette. So, yeah, here I am, 30 years, never having experienced what sex is like, never having felt normal, trying to find solutions that my harsh reality proceed to shatter. I don't even know why I write this, in all honesty there's nothing any of you can do to help me, I guess I needed to vent.

Everyone showing me their tinder dates, telling me stories about the girls they have slept with, the media shoving sex through my face every second...is it any wonder a person in my situation would want to end it all? Well, I tried and failed miserably (being in a psychiatric ward is not funny).

So here I lay, stuck, not knowing if pulling the trigger and going ahead with my local urologist will mean the end for me. It is a one way highway with no return.

[Lost Sheep]

You do have challenges, my friend. No doubt about that. But none are impossible to overcome.

First of all knowledge is power. When I had an undiagnosed medical condition and no treatment available, I was depressed. When I got a diagnosis and a clear path to treatment, my emotional state improved greatly.

Second, women are incredibly supportive with a man they like and with whom they feel trusted, respected and safe. It is built into their chromosomes. Honesty and a firm commitment to addressing your problems (whatever they are) is attractive to women, I have found. I went on a dating site and found several women willing to help me with my E.D. when I admitted to impotence and an intention to fix it. That help included sex before treatment. Like I said, incredibly supportive.

Third, sex does not have to be penis-in-vagina (coitus). Depending on the society you live in, manual or oral sex is potentially very satisfying for both sexes. I hope that is an option for you in your society. Women of my acquaintance are VERY impressed by a man who takes care to give her orgasms (by any means that works).

I hope my words above give you hope and something to focus on while you seek a material treatment (surgical cure, medications or even an implant).

3 more years of saving is a barrier you CAN overcome.

In the meantime, see if you can find a urologist who specializes in male sexual function. Such a physician will have references and resources most general practitioners and even urologists do not have.

You have a clear (if difficult) path to a solution and are already halfway there.

In the meantime, enjoy the non-sexual joys of female company. You are in a position to learn more about women than most men whose mental capacities are clouded by thoughts of how to get sex. You are free of that complication. As sad as that condition is for you, you CAN turn it to your advantage on the dating scene.

[WhiteCane]

My friend, you just showed us a huge amount of vulnerability… I respect that… i’ve said it a lot on here before… I met my girlfriend when I was extremely sick “on dialysis, just suffered congestive heart failure, went blind“. Women are different creatures… you’re going to find a woman that you love who loves you probably 10 times more in return… that you were able to just say all of that to us states an awful lot about you… be yourself and you will have any woman that you want... Erectile dysfunction or not… I am never even had penetrative sex with my girlfriend and she still tells all of her friends it’s the best sex she’s ever had… I sincerely care for every gentleman on this forum… We are all here with the same issue to some extent… when one of my brothers is feeling hurt like you are right now, I want to do everything in my power to help them… we were all at that point, even those of us that went to the best surgeons this world has to offer… We’ve all felt scared and vulnerable… you need to do what you can within your means and keep optimistic… If things go 100%, that is incredible! If they don’t, you’re going to learn to except this as the new version of yourself… hopefully, you’ll learn to love that version… I think he’s a pretty great guy… despite all of the horror stories, there is still a 97% rate of satisfaction on this! That’s pretty freaking huge! my man, you’ve got this… we’ve all seen you asking questions and all of us are going to be there to help you, every single time… you need to make sure your doctor is clear and understanding about everything on your list of what is going to make you happy with this decision… It is a very difficult decision to make and you want to get it right the first time and I’m quite confident you will with the inquisitiveness that you’ve shown so far… You’re in my thoughts, bud… Be well!

[Gt1956]

The title just sums things up, I'm just scared of what will be of me. I am writing this with tears in my eyes because I honestly don't know what the fuck to do anymore. I feel emasculated due to this ED torment, and when I thought I found some hope, I come here just to read about the amount of step backs and issues people that have gone through with the implant face. Seems like if you don't go with one of the top dogs you are screwed, or are playing Russian roulette. Unfortunately for me, my only option is to play that roulette. So, yeah, here I am, 30 years, never having experienced what sex is like, never having felt normal, trying to find solutions that my harsh reality proceed to shatter. I don't even know why I write this, in all honesty there's nothing any of you can do to help me, I guess I needed to vent.

Everyone showing me their tinder dates, telling me stories about the girls they have slept with, the media shoving sex through my face every second...is it any wonder a person in my situation would want to end it all? Well, I tried and failed miserably (being in a psychiatric ward is not funny).

So here I lay, stuck, not knowing if pulling the trigger and going ahead with my local urologist will mean the end for me. It is a one way highway with no return.

Are you willing to let us help you on your journey?
Let's start with some easy questions, ok. Are you willing to narrow down where you live? This is the best first step. The membership here is really varied. There is an excellent chance that someone here knows a skilled surgeon in your area. Maybe a surgeon that unless you looked really hard you might not of found him.
Can you travel? If yes, about what is the maximum distance that you could or would be willing to travel.
Have you tried using the search function with your local doctors name?
The answer to these first few questions will give members a place to start. There is a large group here that have had to make these same tough decisions. I know that there are some that will offer assistance. You're not alone.

[Agfa13]

Arm yourself with knowledge!
There are good stories, and bad stories on here about experience, but keep in mind, everyone is different, and their circumstances will be different.
Fortunately for you, you have found this place ahead of time and can research and arm yourself. Keep records of what you want to know, how, what, and all that good stuff.
The search function really is your friend, so go back as far are you want, put in your 2 cents, or just read for information. Good luck on your journey.

[medhatg]

Brother, I feel for you.
My advice is to first to get to the root cause of ED. Is it hormonal based, psychological or organic?
Have you had any consultation with a urologist and blood work?