Psychological ED since 16

[caninoespacial]

Hello everyone,
Im new to the forum, but been reading the topics and gathering your shared experiences to guide my way out of this mess for years now. Im a 21 years old Brazilian guy and coping with ED since 16. Never found an answer. I have visited the doctors many times since I first tried and failed to have sex with my girlfriend at 16. I was nervous and really afraid, although I loved her and could get excited by just seeing her approach. I was a very productive teenager, with great mathematical skills, a truly strong passion for science and music. I had it all, despite being poor and having many other battles to fight. But as a result of this miserable failure, she betrayed me and I lost her. Since then, I have been with only three girls. Have to say, even with the ED, they have always been happy with the other things I had to offer, always telling me not to worry and just use my tongue. But even in this somewhat healthy position to overcome any psychological issue, I could not get better. To this moment, I have lost many of my life opportunities and have developed a terrible depression. Im 20 pounds fatter and totally lost right now. All the doctors say the same: it’s psychological. So I made sexual therapy, counseling, and visited a psychiatrist for 3 years. Every time the same talk, to pretend sexual intercourse is not important. It does not work. When the heat is on and the girl asks you to get inside her, there is nothing you can do but to think how a loser you are and how many men out there could make her satisfied. I have tried pills, which surely makes a difference. The problem is, when you are going to have sex, they don’t overcome the depression and anxiety. Since everything started, I lost completely the visual excitement. Just can’t take it back, it’s gone, and it hurts a lot. Porn makes me want to vomit. Testosterone is normal though. I have no idea what to do, guys. My country doesn’t sell injections. An implant is totally impossible here, doctors would never give me an implant for psychological ED. So my questions are:
1 – If I go to America, is there any doctor who would surely give injections? Would I be able to buy them there and bring with me? Are they too expensive?
2 – My penis is only 5.5”. So… with an implant, the little fella would be really small, right?
I’ll appreciate immensely any response. Right now, I’m literally struggling to survive. I really need to outlive this shit, I have a lot to offer the world, I don’t want to give up.

[radioradio]

Please don't give up. How are you and the doctors sure your issue is only psychological ?
Have you had Doppler test, etc?

I'm pretty sure in my case the original cause was not psychological, but once the performance anxiety kicked in -- well then it became more and more psychological. I suffer from depression, and I know at least a piece of it is from my sense of failure and inadequacy. Doctors here, too, often just say it's in your head. Find out for sure. Dont give up.

Bob

[caninoespacial]

Hello radioradio, thanks very much for the reply! In fact, my uro have never made anything but a blood test and just adressed the issue as psychological automatically. But I went for sexual therapy for years, for a long time I would not get nervous during sex. But still never worked. I'll surch for another uro's perspective and tell you guys about it.
Keep strong everyone

[radioradio]

Find a different uro. Is there a teaching/university hospital with a urology department you can contact?
Bob 2.0

[lenders]

Hello radioradio, thanks very much for the reply! In fact, my uro have never made anything but a blood test and just adressed the issue as psychological automatically. But I went for sexual therapy for years, for a long time I would not get nervous during sex. But still never worked. I'll surch for another uro's perspective and tell you guys about it.
Keep strong everyone

If your uro adressed the issue as pssychological automatically you should change to another uro immediately, he does not want to bother himself to investigate what happens to you, since he does not want to tell you that it is possible that your problem is organic because you are young, otherwise he would not have problem in making at least a doppler . Doctors like that are the worst, no matter what you say he will not listen to you and he will tell you that it is psychological and if he does not want to do any tests then that doctor is not worth your time, look for a good doctor who does not simply tell you It's psychological because you're young, do not waste your time, and do not pay a sexologist or psychologist because it will not help.

[caninoespacial]

Guys, im very thankful for all the replies.
Thanks to what you guys said, I have decided to give all energy to making my way to a good job opportunity I found. It will take a few months, but will give stability and the necessary independence I need to try new doctors and treatments. It will pay what is like 30 k a year for you guys there in the US, but for a 21 that still lives with his parents… it’s quite a good option. So, I have read about venous leak, and it would make sense that I have it, the symptoms are really precise. Yet, until I get proper treatment for whatever reason my ED may be caused, I’ll keep trying Cialis, since it still works (I’m aware of the effect that it will eventually stops working). I have been truly lucky because I met a girl a year ago and we’ve been dating for ten months now. She has vaginismus, so she does not judge me that much for the problem, but also has trouble wanting to make any other kind of sex since she is really frustrated with herself. I love her and don’t want to lose her like I’ve lost the others…
Thank you Lenders and radioradio, I update my life regularly. I really think My story can be of use for our unfortunate fellas out there.

[caninoespacial]

Find a different uro. Is there a teaching/university hospital with a urology department you can contact?
Bob 2.0

That's exactly what I am going to do, I think you are all right when you say the doctors don’t bother helping you out that much, you can see it in their eyes. Of course, it's an industry, a fordist process of diagnosing illness and selling treatments. It's really bad to be caught on that wheel so soon in my life. You can see, pills research that is sponsored by Pfizer always tells us amazing wonders about them. But in the true experience, EVERYONE says it stops working. It’s complicated. I think an independent researcher from my university may help me without capital interest. Or disinterest.