Uncertainty if it's VL or not

[snowerhood]

Hello everyone! Found out about this site couple days ago. Need to say that English is not my native language, so if you'll see some dumb mistakes, sorry.
So, unfortunately, the reason I had to look up for this site is that I'm concerned about my men's health state. I'm 21, and 10 months ago I had COVID and laid in the hospital for a week. That case wasn't bad, symptoms disappeared like couple days after the beginning, I was injected with heparin and my blood analysis were fine. After that, 1.5 months later I was dating a girl, I had no problems with erection that time, at least didn't noticed anything, but one night with her my head (one on my shoulders) got me in the trap of thoughts like "omg what if my penis will not be erected enough, I will ruin everything up". Important to say, whole my life I was anxious enough about my performance in school, relationships, everything that matters to me, and the battle between me and my thoughts was not a nonsense. I understood in that moment, that my failure was connected only with my head. I ended up being very horny that night but incapable to have intercourse because of my fears. Don't need to say how painful blue balls syndrome was for me back then, and shame for this failure was affecting me in some way.
After that night me and her haven't meet each other anymore (not because of this failure, we just ended our connection). But a month later I noticed that something is wrong with my erection. I felt like something is preventing blood to flow to my penis glans or something like that when I was laying on my back. I had no big worries about that, because it was the time of exams, sleepless nights, broken sleep schedule and study stress. I saw problems even when I was masturbating sitting on the chair.
Anyway, 2-3 months after that I had some kind of relationship with other girl, we had no sex with penetration, but she masturbated me when I was laying down, and everything seemed okay with her, but my health anxiety began to raise and I saw problems when I was alone with myself. Everyone who I discussed this with was telling me that this is just mind games, but I wasn't sure. Everything was fine when I was standing or sitting, but when I laid, my glans was not rigid enough.
Anyway, my psychotherapist told me that it definitely looks like health anxiety, and month ago from now I had another sexual contact with another girl, once more I was laying and as she said later, everything was fine with my erection. But still, I don't trust this information, because I think that it might be an early stage of venous leak.
Also, I had diagnosed with varicocele, but two urologist said that it's nothing to worry about and all problems with my erection are in my head, and pain in my pelvis which I was complaining about is just because of lack of sex.
So now I have this pain, irritating to my balls, my back and pubic area.
My theory is that I have a chronic pelvic pain syndrome connected with varicose veins in my pelvis that led to venous leakage, but last urologist I went to said that it's very rare for 21 yo man to have this because as a rule that kinds of stuff begin in early ages and it can't be developed so fast in like 3-4 months. By the way, my prostate is fine lol
Sorry for my post being so messed up, I tried to put things in order but here it is

[bldoink]

Welcome to the forum.

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I'm not a medical professional of any kind. Anything I pot is based on my own experiences at best and hallucinations or delusions at worst. Internet forum advice is likely worth what you paid for it, or worse. Always ask your doctor and follow his/her advice. The short version is I don't know squat.
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It sounds to me like it's all in your head except you're so stressed about it you're giving yourself CPPS. CHILL OUT!

Good luck.

[snowerhood]

Welcome to the forum.

---------------------------------------------------------
I'm not a medical professional of any kind. Anything I pot is based on my own experiences at best and hallucinations or delusions at worst. Internet forum advice is likely worth what you paid for it, or worse. Always ask your doctor and follow his/her advice. The short version is I don't know squat.
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It sounds to me like it's all in your head except you're so stressed about it you're giving yourself CPPS. CHILL OUT!

Good luck.

Thank you for your answer. I forgot to say that I have morning wood nearly everyday but I have a feeling that it can be a bit weaker, especially when I lay on my back.

Is there anyone who has VL to talk with me about how exactly symptoms ov VL look like? Also I've read today that PDE-5 pills are not working well for people with VL.

Actually I'm dramatically stressed out, I'm really scared to become an impotent at my 20's. This whole story is like a nightmare for me. And I'm not sure that implants are in the spotlight in Russia

[snowerhood]

Oh, and forgot to mention. All pain in my scrotum began right after that case with the girl followed by, as I think, a big blood congestion or something. That can be considered both as a coin to head problems pot and to my varicose veins theory pot ;(

[sogwap]

It sounds to me like it's all in your head except you're so stressed about it you're giving yourself CPPS. CHILL OUT!

Good luck.

I would agree. Fact is stress, anxiety and depression are huge, contributors to sexual functioning (not working).

As far a VL, you are getting morning wood which is a good sign.

[Anonymous FT Member]

Maybe this is the wrong way to think, but I can't help but wonder if being on your back is not an ideal position for sexual intercourse. Obviously in a male and female sexual situation the male is the one who penetrates or tops. I'm sure you're also aware of the injuries that can occur with the female on top of you. She's on top and you slip out you can snap your penis and end up with peyronies. Not trying to take the fun out of your encounters, but it might be something to consider or think about.

Other than that, I think you likely have psychogenic situational ED where you worry about your performance. It seems like you have had several female partners in a short period of time. Did you ever consider that you might not really be into or highly attracted to some of these women? Also I believe you should give yourself time to recover from your Covid. I'd say definitely stay healthy and active.

[snowerhood]

Other than that, I think you likely have psychogenic situational ED where you worry about your performance. It seems like you have had several female partners in a short period of time. Did you ever consider that you might not really be into or highly attracted to some of these women? Also I believe you should give yourself time to recover from your Covid. I'd say definitely stay healthy and active.

The interesting thing is that last 2 sexual contacts with these girls were not connected with any complains or obvious issues with me laying on my back except my huge performance anxiety. Despite that anxiety and me not aroused so much it was reported by two of them that my erection was good enough. But I'm still concerned if they were sure about it, was my erection strong enough for penetration and also if it can be just compensated form of started to develop venous leak... And I know that all these words sound like the product of high anxiety. But still, when I'm alone with myself trying to verify if my erection is good, laying on my back, I see some problems. Sure, in these situations my anxiety is also high and sexual arousal even less than when I was with girls. I tried deprivation from masturbation to see if that's the reason and yeah, I managed to successfully masturbate laying on my back. I was happy about it, but then I remembered one guy from the internet that wrote that he did this successful experiment too, but still had problems... I guess.

Also I'm still concerned about my pelvis and pubic pain cause it might be connected with VL...
Anyway, I will go to another (third) urologist to get prescription from him to go to Doppler test with pharm injection. But I worry about cases of false-positive results due to patients' anxiety.

Also, can I ask you? Do you know by any chance how fast can VL deteriorate? Is it possible to maintain certain level of VL condition for a long time. Franky speaking, all I think about is how many years I have to have a possibility to have an adequate sex before problem is getting worse...

I hope so much that all this stuff is from my head only, but warning signs seem so convincing...

Sorry for so many words and thank you for your reply

[Anonymous FT Member]

The interesting thing is that last 2 sexual contacts with these girls were not connected with any complains or obvious issues with me laying on my back except my huge performance anxiety. Despite that anxiety and me not aroused so much it was reported by two of them that my erection was good enough.

But I'm still concerned if they were sure about it, was my erection strong enough for penetration and also if it can be just compensated form of started to develop venous leak... And I know that all these words sound like the product of high anxiety.

Also I'm still concerned about my pelvis and pubic pain cause it might be connected with VL...
Anyway, I will go to another (third) urologist to get prescription from him to go to Doppler test with pharm injection. But I worry about cases of false-positive results due to patients' anxiety.

Also, can I ask you? Do you know by any chance how fast can VL deteriorate? Is it possible to maintain certain level of VL condition for a long time. Franky speaking, all I think about is how many years I have to have a possibility to have an adequate sex before problem is getting worse...

I hope so much that all this stuff is from my head only, but warning signs seem so convincing...

Sorry for so many words and thank you for your reply

I'm happy to listen and help if I can or at least give you another view of your situation. First I think you are probably too young for many of these VL issues you are concerned about. The last 2 contacts you had said you erection was good. If you were able to penetrate, then there's no problem. You just have to be hard enough to penetrate the female. You don't have to be an iron horse because you are not drilling into a concrete wall or anything. One more thing that caught my attention is you said you had anxiety and not being aroused. So that leads back to my earlier question to you about your attraction to these women. If you're not highly aroused or excited by them, then maybe they aren't a good match for you. That's where the mind comes in as well. It's not just about "worrying" or performance anxieties, it is also about an element of attraction to enable you to be fully aroused and excited for your sexual encounter.

I'm 39 and have seen various urologists since I was probably 18 for different questions and concerns. However none of them have ever set me up for a Doppler test. I'm in the USA, and maybe tests are more easily done in your area. Then again maybe my doctors have all have the opinion that my issues are psychogenic in nature. The doctors you have seen may think the same for you. I'm not a doctor and have never seen or examined you, but I doubt you have VL. I think for you it is psychogenic in nature. For comparison my erection is slightly different when flat on my back. For me erections kind of cramp or ache when I'm flat on my back. The glans might even look a little less engorged in comparison to other positions. I can flex and make the glans swell out. You might try that when you are testing yourself while on your back. See if you can flex and swell it out.

As far as the pelvic and pubic pain, I have no idea. Check prostate, and consider anything you've done that may have triggered the pain. Did you injure yourself in some way? STI/STD? Also do you have any other known health issues with bladder, bowel or prostate?

[snowerhood]

The interesting thing is that last 2 sexual contacts with these girls were not connected with any complains or obvious issues with me laying on my back except my huge performance anxiety. Despite that anxiety and me not aroused so much it was reported by two of them that my erection was good enough.

But I'm still concerned if they were sure about it, was my erection strong enough for penetration and also if it can be just compensated form of started to develop venous leak... And I know that all these words sound like the product of high anxiety.

Also I'm still concerned about my pelvis and pubic pain cause it might be connected with VL...
Anyway, I will go to another (third) urologist to get prescription from him to go to Doppler test with pharm injection. But I worry about cases of false-positive results due to patients' anxiety.

Also, can I ask you? Do you know by any chance how fast can VL deteriorate? Is it possible to maintain certain level of VL condition for a long time. Franky speaking, all I think about is how many years I have to have a possibility to have an adequate sex before problem is getting worse...

I hope so much that all this stuff is from my head only, but warning signs seem so convincing...

Sorry for so many words and thank you for your reply

I'm happy to listen and help if I can or at least give you another view of your situation. First I think you are probably too young for many of these VL issues you are concerned about. The last 2 contacts you had said you erection was good. If you were able to penetrate, then there's no problem. You just have to be hard enough to penetrate the female. You don't have to be an iron horse because you are not drilling into a concrete wall or anything. One more thing that caught my attention is you said you had anxiety and not being aroused. So that leads back to my earlier question to you about your attraction to these women. If you're not highly aroused or excited by them, then maybe they aren't a good match for you. That's where the mind comes in as well. It's not just about "worrying" or performance anxieties, it is also about an element of attraction to enable you to be fully aroused and excited for your sexual encounter.

I'm 39 and have seen various urologists since I was probably 18 for different questions and concerns. However none of them have ever set me up for a Doppler test. I'm in the USA, and maybe tests are more easily done in your area. Then again maybe my doctors have all have the opinion that my issues are psychogenic in nature. The doctors you have seen may think the same for you. I'm not a doctor and have never seen or examined you, but I doubt you have VL. I think for you it is psychogenic in nature. For comparison my erection is slightly different when flat on my back. For me erections kind of cramp or ache when I'm flat on my back. The glans might even look a little less engorged in comparison to other positions. I can flex and make the glans swell out. You might try that when you are testing yourself while on your back. See if you can flex and swell it out.

As far as the pelvic and pubic pain, I have no idea. Check prostate, and consider anything you've done that may have triggered the pain. Did you injure yourself in some way? STI/STD? Also do you have any other known health issues with bladder, bowel or prostate?

Ok I just tried to masturbate laying on my back (sorry for such a details) and it seems that my glans just can't be filled with blood like blood is just going away, corpus of penis seems hard enough, but tip doesn't. Unfortunately, it looks very similar to venous leakage

Sorry, I didn't get it, what do you mean by flexing and swelling it out? Like pushing blood to the glans by your glans?

I feel so desperate when I see evidences of VL like this one and I'm scared if it can deteriorate fast or pills won't work and the only cure for me will be an implant.

Still, I am going to Doppler test on 25/08 and looks like it will show me disappointing reality

Btw, I had no problems with bladder or bowel and my prostate was checked recently by palpation. Everything seemed fine

[Anonymous FT Member]

Sorry, I didn't get it, what do you mean by flexing and swelling it out? Like pushing blood to the glans by your glans?

I feel so desperate when I see evidences of VL like this one and I'm scared if it can deteriorate fast or pills won't work and the only cure for me will be an implant.

Still, I am going to Doppler test on 25/08 and looks like it will show me disappointing reality

Btw, I had no problems with bladder or bowel and my prostate was checked recently by palpation. Everything seemed fine

Are you a healthy guy in general, or do you have anything else going on? I wouldn't get too overwhelmed with the idea of having VL. I doubt you have that problem, and if you do it must be minor or trivial. You should ask how reliable and definitive the penile doppler test will be. From what I have read here on the FT forums some of the guys seem to be saying they are not always 100 percent reliable. I seem to remember someone sharing a link to a study that talked about it as well. So that being said, I don't know how much your nerves will come into play when you do the test. Certainly everyone feels a little uncomfortable or nervous in medical situations. I hope you do not have false positive test results due to nervousness or stress of the medical procedure.

What I meant was to try to flex your pubococcygeus muscle or PC muscle while on your back with erection. See how much you can swell it out when you flex these muscles. While on my back when I flex I can flare the glans out and I feel tightness or tension in the base or root area of my penis. That's why I think being on the back is maybe not an ideal position.