Wife has NO Libido

Anything goes when it comes to ED.
Newlife
Posts: 3
Joined: Wed Aug 19, 2020 8:44 am

Wife has NO Libido

Postby Newlife » Sun Aug 23, 2020 7:19 pm

I had ED for over 10 years which progressively got to the point that oral meds, MUSE, VED, Double Teimix became ineffective. On Aug 4 I had an AMS LGX implant 18cm + 3Cm RTE. Implant went great, but next problem is my wife has no (NONE, ZERO) desire for sex. She lost her desire for sex several years ago. She won't see a doctor, doesn't want to talk about it, and gets mad anytime I even hint. Any suggestions on how to get help to diagnose her loss of libido?
Newlife. AMS700 lgx 18+3 rte. Aug 4, 2020

oldbeek
Posts: 1582
Joined: Sun Sep 10, 2017 1:46 pm
Location: Los Angeles area

Re: Wife has NO Libido

Postby oldbeek » Sun Aug 23, 2020 11:18 pm

You are not alone. Mine is the same.
78, good health, RP 7-2017, all nerves taken , PSA 0.05, 4-18,, .08 11/18,.07 1/19,.05 4/19, .06 2/20 Pain with trimix, implant 4-18, Infra-pubic, AMS lgx 15 cm with 5cm rte. Implant at USC Keck. Dr Boyd and Dr Loh Doyle 6 x 4.5, 800 AUS 7-21-20

Lost Sheep
Posts: 3973
Joined: Mon Jul 04, 2016 11:16 pm

Re: Wife has NO Libido

Postby Lost Sheep » Mon Aug 24, 2020 3:56 am

Newlife wrote:I had ED for over 10 years which progressively got to the point that oral meds, MUSE, VED, Double Teimix became ineffective. On Aug 4 I had an AMS LGX implant 18cm + 3Cm RTE. Implant went great, but next problem is my wife has no (NONE, ZERO) desire for sex. She lost her desire for sex several years ago. She won't see a doctor, doesn't want to talk about it, and gets mad anytime I even hint. Any suggestions on how to get help to diagnose her loss of libido?

I would need a LOT more of the story of the past 10 years and probably the 10 years preceding those to venture a guess, so the best advice I can give you is to go to a couples counsellor (probably alone because your wife may resist the idea).

Your marriage needs help, as you two appear to me to be out of alignment or out of synchronization or something of that sort. I willl venture a guess that the high-friction interfaces are on more than just the sexual one, too. Getting the lines of communication open is the essential first step.

In the meantime, keep your interactions supportive and loving with no pressure for sex. Anything else will have her building barriers higher. Show her by your actions that you want to keep and strengthen you union. Saying "Thank you" would probably help, too. Do you?

Unless you want to call it quits.

Good luck
Last edited by Lost Sheep on Mon Aug 24, 2020 5:24 pm, edited 1 time in total.
Lost Sheep
AMS LGX 18+3 Nov 6, 2017 Dr Shaw.
READ OLD THREADS to ask better questions and better understand answers.
Make yourself part of your medical team.
Document your current penile size: photos and written records.
Pre-op V.E.D. therapy helps.

Up4Real?
Posts: 26
Joined: Wed May 30, 2018 9:06 am

Re: Wife has NO Libido

Postby Up4Real? » Mon Aug 24, 2020 7:18 am

I don’t think I have seen this mention here but I recently learned that there is an Rx to make sex more comfortable for a aging female as they experience changes not unlike males do, namely, some loss of elasticity and therefore sex becomes uncomfortable. Add that to decreased frequency of intercourse and loss of libido it makes for a challenging situation. And then add to that the possible loss of confidence to perform by an ageing male gets to be a serious problem. The Rx is called esterace.
How do I know this? A friend told me. :D
1947 (73YO) homo sapien, heterosexual, uncut. Married 44 years to supportive wife. Developed ED at 65YO. Used pills, VED, rings, muse, ever increasing tri mix: discontinued with 85 units of 80/3/25. Didn't work. Got peyronie's.Implanted 11/18/20

dg_moore
Posts: 1563
Joined: Mon Apr 25, 2011 9:34 am

Re: Wife has NO Libido

Postby dg_moore » Mon Aug 24, 2020 7:46 am

Same here, but neiher do I. We're on the same page and doing fine.
Dave, 77, Maryland - Implant (Titan) 2008 by Dr. Andrew Kramer (failed Sept 2020) - never used due to a stroke that, among other things, ended my sex life.
Life is not the way it's supposed to be, it's the way it is.

Old Guy
Posts: 317
Joined: Tue Mar 31, 2020 4:31 pm
Location: Ohio

Re: Wife has NO Libido

Postby Old Guy » Mon Aug 24, 2020 9:16 am

Join the club. Even though my wife is 17 years younger than me her libido has been going downhill the last few years. My libido has never quit. She still has sex with me, but it's pretty tame anymore. Like let's get this done.
68 years old when Coloplast Titan OTR implanted 11-08-2019. Viagra, Trimix, QuadMix all failed after a while. Married to my beautiful 17 year younger wife for 32+ years. As much as it was a tough recovery for me I'm glad I had it done.

DonDon
Posts: 68
Joined: Mon Sep 11, 2017 5:20 pm

Re: Wife has NO Libido

Postby DonDon » Mon Aug 24, 2020 11:29 am

I can't say that mine has none, but she lacks any initiative, interest. She will spread her legs whenever I want, but it is just like above...Let's get this over. Without her eagerness to participate, lovemaking is one step above masturbation. I had my doubts about getting my implant. What for?? She doesn't need me to get it. She commented that I should do it for me and not for her. Interestingly, many years ago, she "gave me permission" to masturbate any time I wanted if I wasn't getting enough. I used to get off in the shower regularly when feeling horney. Since my drive hasn't diminished, I still do it in the shower about once or so a week. We are a great couple with lots of common interests, just not sexually. I get her to participate once or twice a week, but sometimes feel that I'm pushing her too far. She has orgasms, but seems to have no "need" for them. They are just a nice bonus for me inconveniencing her for a few minutes to satisfy myself. She takes her iPhone to bed with her, texts incessantly, plays some games and likes the phone more than sex. It has happened more than once that the phone beeps while I am stroking away on her and she asks if she can see who it is because it might be important. More than once I've caught her watching the TV while I am in her. It's very discouraging. I still need my sex and a combination of morning shower sex and wife sex has me physically satisfied, but mentally unsatisfied. I am told that when we get this age our drive diminishes and this is to be expected. But right now hers has faded and mine is still strong. I don't expect her to change any time soon. She's over the hill. Maybe I will get over there with her some day.
Aug'15: RP NON nerve-sparing on Rt. Pills, vac pump, injections: Injections were best with about 50% success rate. Aug'17: Implant: AMS CX 18 cm+2 cm. (Undersized! :x ) Asked for LGX. Ochsner Hospital, New Orleans, LA. 2021 still working great.

Lost Sheep
Posts: 3973
Joined: Mon Jul 04, 2016 11:16 pm

Re: Wife has NO Libido

Postby Lost Sheep » Mon Aug 24, 2020 12:25 pm

Up4Real? wrote:I don’t think I have seen this mention here but I recently learned that there is an Rx to make sex more comfortable for a aging female as they experience changes not unlike males do, namely, some loss of elasticity and therefore sex becomes uncomfortable. Add that to decreased frequency of intercourse and loss of libido it makes for a challenging situation. And then add to that the possible loss of confidence to perform by an ageing male gets to be a serious problem. The Rx is called esterace.
How do I know this? A friend told me. :D

Various medical interventions to restore female libido and reduce female discomfort with sex have been mentioned in threads here a number of times. Not as many as, I think, would be helpful for men here and seldom by specific drug names, though.

Hormone replacement therapy can relieve a plethora of menopausal and post menopausal effects

Hormone creams intravaginally have less cardiac (not necessarily fewer) effects

Simple lubricants used liberally can help.

Foreplay starts with doing the dishes for her after dinner and simply PAYING ATTENTION to her. Long-time couples sometimes fall into a routine that may be comforting or may be a rut. (And not the good kind of rut) I am not saying that is the case with anyone here, but it does happen occasionally and is not irreversible.
Lost Sheep
AMS LGX 18+3 Nov 6, 2017 Dr Shaw.
READ OLD THREADS to ask better questions and better understand answers.
Make yourself part of your medical team.
Document your current penile size: photos and written records.
Pre-op V.E.D. therapy helps.

notaes
Posts: 463
Joined: Sat Mar 23, 2019 8:54 am

Re: Wife has NO Libido

Postby notaes » Mon Aug 24, 2020 5:14 pm

FYI-I am approaching 68 yrs old my next birthday and my sex drive is as strong as it was in my teens. I kind of thought it would dissipate as I got older but it has not happened yet. My wife is pretty good about fucking me but I could easily mount her 7 days a week. Love sex and the intimacy it provides us. Best of luck to all!
66 yr old male married 36 yrs use trimix four yrs, cilais and Viagra. trimix work well developed scarring on both sides had implant 1/9/2020 at UT Med Ctr, Knoxville, TN Dr. John Lacy.

brickbat
Posts: 49
Joined: Thu Jun 11, 2020 11:39 am

Re: Wife has NO Libido

Postby brickbat » Mon Aug 24, 2020 6:13 pm

notaes wrote:FYI-I am approaching 68 yrs old my next birthday and my sex drive is as strong as it was in my teens. I kind of thought it would dissipate as I got older but it has not happened yet. My wife is pretty good about fucking me but I could easily mount her 7 days a week. Love sex and the intimacy it provides us. Best of luck to all!


I for one would love to know your Testosterone Levels, notaes. You are a blessed man.

I have a cousin like you who at age 73 reported to me that he got erections in church. His wife had thrown in the towel on sex and he was bursting at the seams. I had three flesh lights that I had never used. I gave them to him. All he has reported is that he is one happy camper. He also said his wife was always wanting him to finish quickly when they had sex, but the flesh lights let him enjoy sex for as long as he wants. He says one of the joys of flesh light use was the joys of thrusting for an hour while his abdoman held it firmly in place by his lying on it.

Phew. Some men have all the hormones and sexual perks as they age, like you notaes, and others of us fight limpness and low iibido.

Tell us more about romancing your wife in your marriage that makes sex so frequent and her attitude so great to satisfying you. Age brings dryness to a post menopausal woman and your wife seems to have beaten dryness and pain during intercourse somehow..........not to mention your teenage hard cock which at age 68 is amazing. I know you have had a recent implant. Maybe you are in a honeymoon phase with your new toy, and your wife likes the new toy too.


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