Anxious and nervous

[HLB52111]

Hi guys what a great resource here. My story… soon to be 74. Suffer ED for at least 10 years. visit with Urologist in about 2 weeks. Like it says I am anxious and nervous. Got a few responses to first post of pills, injection and then implant. I am just wondering if there is any hope for a 74 year old male. Maybe this is a pipe dream on my part.
I also suffered a traumatic brain injury in May 2012, prior to ED onset. My memory not so good. Now keep a daily diary to help memory.
Was in hospital and rehab hospital about 4 to 4.5 months. Don’t remember first month because I was in and out of a coma. After i got home i had sex a few times with my young bride, 13 years younger. I guess ED occurred about 4 years later at age 64. Just thought it was due to age. I am totally to blame for the relationship/marriage hitting a dull or rough stage for what my wife says is a 13 year period. Have to agree with her due to my poor memory. Fast forward to August 2025 when wife went into hospital for kidney stones for a week and then about a week or two later back into hospital for sepsis of her blood system.
I realized i had almost lost the love of my life. I apologized to her for being a lousy husband and vowed to be a better husband. We have a long way to go for me to improve the relationship. Could write more but don’t want to bore you guys with my confession.
So in summary is an implant a wasted effort for a 74 year old married male?

[1sfman]

Hi HLB,
First, welcome to the brotherhood! Your question; "So in summary is an implant a wasted effort for a 74 year old married male?" - Hell No!

As you can see in my signature, I am 74, 75 in March, and I have a new implant. I'm 3 1/2 weeks out from surgery, 2 1/2 weeks from second post-op appointment when my implant will be "activated". I've had ED problems since age 60. The surgery isn't a cake walk, and my first attempt was in Oct, 2025. Unfortunately, when the surgeon dilated the right side, my urethra was nicked. There's a 3% chance of that and I was one of the "lucky" 3%. So, I had to wait until Jan 21st to allow the urethra to recover. I had a semi-malleable rod placed in the left side in Oct to preserve my length. I could hardly wait till Jan to proceed with the implant.

Fast forward to Jan, and the surgery went without a hitch. First week is uncomfortable, and you spend a lot of time with ice in your crotch. That said, I have 2 1/2 weeks until activation and I can hardly wait for that appointment. Every day now is better than the previous one with the discomfort decreasing daily. But, I'm under no illusions that all will be normal after "activation". If you read other posts about recovery, it can be hit or miss time-wise. Some have almost instant success, others report several weeks or months before the implants settle down and sex becomes what one wants.

The alternative for me was no penetrative sex, disappointment for my loving wife and disappointment for me that I could no longer satisfy her 58 years into our relationship. I'm excited for the next step in my recovery and my wife is equally excited. I can truthfully say, at our age, this is one of the few times we want time to pass quickly.

You and your wife have had a some rough spots in your life and I certainly hope all that is behind you. We are trying to live life to the fullest and I would encourage you to do so as well. FrankTalk is a valuable resource and members will be happy to answer any questions. I would be more than happy to answer any question via private message as well.

All the best to you!

[HLB52111]

Hello si4 thanks for your reply. Would like continue but not in public forum. Think it is called PM for private message just not sure how to do it. Struggle on this IPad at times. Any good instructions would be welcome.

[1sfman]

You can click on my name, 1sfman in the upper left, and that will take you to my profile. About mid screen on the left you'll see PM: Send Private Message. Click on that link and that will set you up to message.

It takes a little digging on this site to find everything. Not complaining at all as it's a great site, but some things are not intuitive.

[HLB52111]

I see in your info line many attempts with various treatments, do you wish that you skipped various treatments and just did the implant?

[1sfman]

Well, Cialis worked for several years. When it started failing me, I wished I had gone to the implants. My experience with Trimix and Quadmix were not good. Would not do those again. I simply didn't know about implants when I started the shots. When the shots had very mixed results, and a sore penis every time, my local urologist (who did not do my implant) told me I could have implants. I knew very little about them, and assumed Medicare, or Medicare Advantage which I have, would not pay for them.

But bottom line, I would have skipped the shots and gone to implants once the Cialis starting failing. My regret is we wasted several years fighting my ED when the implants would have greatly improved our life.