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Can't get off :-(

Posted: Sat Oct 22, 2022 12:50 pm
by retired65
I'm 70 y.o. have an implant since 2017, I'm on medication for cholesterol and an anti-depressant. Wife has lost interest in sex, no kissing no touching, etc. she sleeps in her own room. I've been trying masturbating, but I really have a hard time reaching an orgasm (my hand gets tired and my dick gets sore) watching porno doesn't help as it all the same (sucking a dick then banging like there's no tomorrow and all the fake screaming). When it's pumped it's a beautiful dick but no place to "stick it" thought about getting myself a masturbator for Christmas but when I mentioned it to the wife, she asked me if I was turning into a pervert :-( Anybody on the same boat or I'm just "lucky"?

Re: Can't get off :-(

Posted: Sat Oct 22, 2022 1:38 pm
by bldoink
I don't know if your anorgasmia is more related to your implant or your prostatectomy, but not that it matters at this point. The prostatectomy did it for me (nerve damage) but of course I never was a minute man or suffered from PE.

Are you using lube???

I've bought a couple of the fleshlight models with limited success but they're certainly worth giving a try.

I don't want to give marital advice as I don't feel at all qualified but considering the: "Wife has lost interest in sex, no kissing no touching, etc. she sleeps in her own room." part, I don't really see where she has any standing to have an opinion on it. I'd just go ahead and get the one you want. However, it might be diplomatic to get a model that doesn't look too anatomically correct. If she then objects I'd let her know that she's welcome at any time to make the toy irrelevant through participation. Just make sure you're doing your part to get her interested and romantically involved, if possible. If you're still on your own then you're on your own and she has no standing to complain.

Maybe try a clit vibrator on her. Could she have some medical issues that make penetration unpleasant for her?

Well seeing as I'm no couples therapist of any kind I'll shut up now.

Re: Can't get off :-(

Posted: Sat Oct 22, 2022 2:09 pm
by SteveSW
Retired65, I too have anorgasmia and understand the frustration. I don't think your wife has a right to prevent you from getting pleasure, if she is unwilling to help. I found a masturbator that gets me off regularly. It's called the Tenga Spinner and costs just $27. Getting me off is part of our sex life and my spouse is very involved, or I'm free to jerk off without help if that's the mood I'm in. Here's the addy: https://usstore.tenga.co/collections/spinner-series

Re: Can't get off :-(

Posted: Sun Oct 23, 2022 9:08 am
by vajim1
If she is not interested then you should trey a vibrator with a little lube or masturbate with lube and it helps to have some erotic thoughts. :D

Re: Can't get off :-(

Posted: Tue Oct 25, 2022 4:48 pm
by ClaytonW
SteveSW wrote:Retired65, I too have anorgasmia and understand the frustration. I don't think your wife has a right to prevent you from getting pleasure, if she is unwilling to help. I found a masturbator that gets me off regularly. It's called the Tenga Spinner and costs just $27. Getting me off is part of our sex life and my spouse is very involved, or I'm free to jerk off without help if that's the mood I'm in. Here's the addy: https://usstore.tenga.co/collections/spinner-series


Steve: does the advertised 'spinning' sensation really deliver? The video with the faux 'rod' seems like it would work - and there are a lot of very positive reviews.

I'm living with anorgasmia thanks to carvedilol for BP (aka: Coreg) and it's VERY difficult to get off. Hoping that this is intense enough that my wife can use it on me. Not being able to cum is depressing.

Re: Can't get off :-(

Posted: Wed Oct 26, 2022 10:51 am
by CanGetItUpButNoMore
Carvidolol killed sex for me. I jettisoned it in favor of Losaetan+Nebivolol.l

Re: Can't get off :-(

Posted: Wed Oct 26, 2022 12:38 pm
by Reggieman
When I got anorgasmia after my RP I was dumbfounded. Then I discovered Electro Stim.I was able to get some type of orgasm. It is not like sex with a woman but can be satisfying. It doesn't work as well now for me due to increase in the types of meds I have to take for unrelated health issues. But I get pleasure from it

https://www.sexmachinereviews.co.uk/adv ... tions.html

This above site shows how to position the electrodes. In purchasing a box be advised that the more expensive machines generally provide the better experience.

PM me if you want additional info.

Re: Can't get off :-(

Posted: Wed Oct 26, 2022 2:09 pm
by AmansinCali
Retired65,

Your wife is being cruel to you, my question is, does she realize it.

I think you should at least attempt to explain it to her, she needs to know that males were put on this earth to procreate and you have an instinctive need to orgasm even though you are 70, let her know you don't ask for these feelings, and you are far from being pervert. Ask her why you still live together, ask her if she cares at all for you, tell her you would help her with anything she asked of you, ask her why she won't help you, ask her if she still loves you, ask her why are you so mean to me? Tell her if she won't help you that you will have to help yourself.

There is a possibility she has never thought of it in those terms. If she then continues to be cruel to you, then you have a big decision to make, 70 is young, you have time to find someone who would care about you and your needs. There are plenty of 60 year old women who would love to have you. I am 78 and I would not put up with that.

Re: Can't get off :-(

Posted: Wed Oct 26, 2022 4:36 pm
by GoodWood
I will share my own experience with a tenga masturbating sleeve. I absolutely love it. It’s the Tenga Flip Zero EV. Although it’s $200 I think it’s worth it. Add some water based lube, slide inside, turn it on (it has 4 different settings) and stroke with it. Even though I also struggle to orgasm at times I have never failed with this. Feels great. It’s also easy to clean. It hinges open like a clamshell and rinses out with warm soapy water.

Since your wife is sleeping in another room and doesn’t seem interested in participating in sex, I wouldn’t see any need to discuss the purchase/use of it with her. Treat yourself to some toy that will feel great and help you orgasm.

Re: Can't get off :-(

Posted: Wed Oct 26, 2022 6:58 pm
by Happy Toy
retired65 wrote:I'm 70 y.o. have an implant since 2017, I'm on medication for cholesterol and an anti-depressant. Wife has lost interest in sex, no kissing no touching, etc. she sleeps in her own room. I've been trying masturbating, but I really have a hard time reaching an orgasm (my hand gets tired and my dick gets sore) watching porno doesn't help as it all the same (sucking a dick then banging like there's no tomorrow and all the fake screaming). When it's pumped it's a beautiful dick but no place to "stick it" thought about getting myself a masturbator for Christmas but when I mentioned it to the wife, she asked me if I was turning into a pervert :-( Anybody on the same boat or I'm just "lucky"?


One thing is obvious, your wife has no idea what a man needs, it has nothing to do with being a pervert, it has to do with meeting your biological needs. If she is not interested then why not seek other means. If you have your own room she does not need to know whats going on in there. You don't have to spend a lot of money on a masturbator, I got a great one for under $40. It has 6 different vibrations, 3 intensesties, and heat. I works EVERY TIME. It's rechargeable and easy to clean. PM me if you would like more info or just want to chat.
Andy