Can't get off :-(

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retired65
Posts: 8
Joined: Sun Aug 13, 2017 9:28 pm
Location: Texas

Can't get off :-(

Postby retired65 » Sat Oct 22, 2022 12:50 pm

I'm 70 y.o. have an implant since 2017, I'm on medication for cholesterol and an anti-depressant. Wife has lost interest in sex, no kissing no touching, etc. she sleeps in her own room. I've been trying masturbating, but I really have a hard time reaching an orgasm (my hand gets tired and my dick gets sore) watching porno doesn't help as it all the same (sucking a dick then banging like there's no tomorrow and all the fake screaming). When it's pumped it's a beautiful dick but no place to "stick it" thought about getting myself a masturbator for Christmas but when I mentioned it to the wife, she asked me if I was turning into a pervert :-( Anybody on the same boat or I'm just "lucky"?
66 years old, married 36 years. ED since 2006, diagnosed with prostate cancer 07/2014. Prostatectomy 07/27/2015, Coloplast Titan implanted 02/15/2018 by Dr. J. Greenfield.

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bldoink
Posts: 3671
Joined: Mon Apr 03, 2017 12:58 am
Location: Fl.

Re: Can't get off :-(

Postby bldoink » Sat Oct 22, 2022 1:38 pm

I don't know if your anorgasmia is more related to your implant or your prostatectomy, but not that it matters at this point. The prostatectomy did it for me (nerve damage) but of course I never was a minute man or suffered from PE.

Are you using lube???

I've bought a couple of the fleshlight models with limited success but they're certainly worth giving a try.

I don't want to give marital advice as I don't feel at all qualified but considering the: "Wife has lost interest in sex, no kissing no touching, etc. she sleeps in her own room." part, I don't really see where she has any standing to have an opinion on it. I'd just go ahead and get the one you want. However, it might be diplomatic to get a model that doesn't look too anatomically correct. If she then objects I'd let her know that she's welcome at any time to make the toy irrelevant through participation. Just make sure you're doing your part to get her interested and romantically involved, if possible. If you're still on your own then you're on your own and she has no standing to complain.

Maybe try a clit vibrator on her. Could she have some medical issues that make penetration unpleasant for her?

Well seeing as I'm no couples therapist of any kind I'll shut up now.
R.R.P 2011 Mayo Jacksonville, Dr. Michael Wehle. Nerve sparing - badly damaged. C in margin. V.E.D, Viagra and PGE-1 (80mcg/ml) injections @ ~ 14 units. Originally Edex20, then compounded PGE-1 - cost. Inject. 10+ yrs. It works. Treasure coast of FL.

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SteveSW
Posts: 977
Joined: Sat Sep 08, 2018 6:23 pm
Location: St. Louis, MO

Re: Can't get off :-(

Postby SteveSW » Sat Oct 22, 2022 2:09 pm

Retired65, I too have anorgasmia and understand the frustration. I don't think your wife has a right to prevent you from getting pleasure, if she is unwilling to help. I found a masturbator that gets me off regularly. It's called the Tenga Spinner and costs just $27. Getting me off is part of our sex life and my spouse is very involved, or I'm free to jerk off without help if that's the mood I'm in. Here's the addy: https://usstore.tenga.co/collections/spinner-series
20 years of severe Peyronie's plaque, 90 curve, hinging and ED. Cost me 1.5" L and 1" G.
Implanted 2/18/21, AMS CX, 18 CM + 3 RTE, penoscrotal. Have gained 3/4". Gay, married, age 68.

vajim1
Posts: 492
Joined: Tue Jan 16, 2018 2:19 pm

Re: Can't get off :-(

Postby vajim1 » Sun Oct 23, 2022 9:08 am

If she is not interested then you should trey a vibrator with a little lube or masturbate with lube and it helps to have some erotic thoughts. :D
76 year old fart. Prostate removed Oct. 9, 2017,Psa 30 days after .15 next Psa .2. 37 Radiation treatments for recurrent cancer, 1 year out Psa .033 ZERO ERECTIONS, implanted Sept 5 2019 Dr. Lentz Duke Raleigh N.C. Titan 22cm.

ClaytonW
Posts: 18
Joined: Sun Mar 31, 2013 12:24 pm

Re: Can't get off :-(

Postby ClaytonW » Tue Oct 25, 2022 4:48 pm

SteveSW wrote:Retired65, I too have anorgasmia and understand the frustration. I don't think your wife has a right to prevent you from getting pleasure, if she is unwilling to help. I found a masturbator that gets me off regularly. It's called the Tenga Spinner and costs just $27. Getting me off is part of our sex life and my spouse is very involved, or I'm free to jerk off without help if that's the mood I'm in. Here's the addy: https://usstore.tenga.co/collections/spinner-series


Steve: does the advertised 'spinning' sensation really deliver? The video with the faux 'rod' seems like it would work - and there are a lot of very positive reviews.

I'm living with anorgasmia thanks to carvedilol for BP (aka: Coreg) and it's VERY difficult to get off. Hoping that this is intense enough that my wife can use it on me. Not being able to cum is depressing.
59 yo, ED from organic causes, pills ineffective, using TriMix at home and Edex when traveling. Live on beautiful Whidbey Island, WA (Seattle area).

CanGetItUpButNoMore
Posts: 60
Joined: Wed Oct 27, 2021 8:27 pm

Re: Can't get off :-(

Postby CanGetItUpButNoMore » Wed Oct 26, 2022 10:51 am

Carvidolol killed sex for me. I jettisoned it in favor of Losaetan+Nebivolol.l
68yo. Diabetes & hypertension drugs but none that are infamous for ED causation. Increasing ED compounded by frequent anorgasmia. Viagra for 2 years. Cabergoline experimentation inconclusive. New to pumping (Encore). Supportive (to a limit) wife.

Reggieman
Posts: 228
Joined: Sat Jun 04, 2016 7:17 pm
Location: Central California

Re: Can't get off :-(

Postby Reggieman » Wed Oct 26, 2022 12:38 pm

When I got anorgasmia after my RP I was dumbfounded. Then I discovered Electro Stim.I was able to get some type of orgasm. It is not like sex with a woman but can be satisfying. It doesn't work as well now for me due to increase in the types of meds I have to take for unrelated health issues. But I get pleasure from it

https://www.sexmachinereviews.co.uk/adv ... tions.html

This above site shows how to position the electrodes. In purchasing a box be advised that the more expensive machines generally provide the better experience.

PM me if you want additional info.
Retired. R.P. 2016. Bilateral nerve sparing surgery. Now use .15cc of Bimix twice weekly & anorgasmia, moderately incontinent. Wife no longer interested so go solo with Electro-stim using Erostek ET-312. Now am Type 2 diabetic.

AmansinCali
Posts: 315
Joined: Mon Apr 20, 2020 2:30 pm
Location: SoCal

Re: Can't get off :-(

Postby AmansinCali » Wed Oct 26, 2022 2:09 pm

Retired65,

Your wife is being cruel to you, my question is, does she realize it.

I think you should at least attempt to explain it to her, she needs to know that males were put on this earth to procreate and you have an instinctive need to orgasm even though you are 70, let her know you don't ask for these feelings, and you are far from being pervert. Ask her why you still live together, ask her if she cares at all for you, tell her you would help her with anything she asked of you, ask her why she won't help you, ask her if she still loves you, ask her why are you so mean to me? Tell her if she won't help you that you will have to help yourself.

There is a possibility she has never thought of it in those terms. If she then continues to be cruel to you, then you have a big decision to make, 70 is young, you have time to find someone who would care about you and your needs. There are plenty of 60 year old women who would love to have you. I am 78 and I would not put up with that.
Last edited by AmansinCali on Sat Oct 29, 2022 11:31 pm, edited 1 time in total.
Used Viagra & Cialis until lost vision in one eye due to AION, therefore can never use pills again, then tri-mix 1 1/2 years until unreliable. Implanted 9/20/22 at 77 years old by Dr. Yafi, UC Irvine. Married 55 years wife 76. 20cm Coloplast Titan.

GoodWood
Posts: 793
Joined: Sun Jun 16, 2019 1:07 pm

Re: Can't get off :-(

Postby GoodWood » Wed Oct 26, 2022 4:36 pm

I will share my own experience with a tenga masturbating sleeve. I absolutely love it. It’s the Tenga Flip Zero EV. Although it’s $200 I think it’s worth it. Add some water based lube, slide inside, turn it on (it has 4 different settings) and stroke with it. Even though I also struggle to orgasm at times I have never failed with this. Feels great. It’s also easy to clean. It hinges open like a clamshell and rinses out with warm soapy water.

Since your wife is sleeping in another room and doesn’t seem interested in participating in sex, I wouldn’t see any need to discuss the purchase/use of it with her. Treat yourself to some toy that will feel great and help you orgasm.
55yo, NYC. ED started at 40. 50 units BiMix + Atropine (Pap 30/Phen 6/Atr 0.2). Prostaglandins caused aching. Doses increasing. A cock ring helps. Phallosan Forte tension devise to maintain size. Eager to talk about implant experiences.

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Happy Toy
Posts: 1101
Joined: Fri May 11, 2018 9:30 am

Re: Can't get off :-(

Postby Happy Toy » Wed Oct 26, 2022 6:58 pm

retired65 wrote:I'm 70 y.o. have an implant since 2017, I'm on medication for cholesterol and an anti-depressant. Wife has lost interest in sex, no kissing no touching, etc. she sleeps in her own room. I've been trying masturbating, but I really have a hard time reaching an orgasm (my hand gets tired and my dick gets sore) watching porno doesn't help as it all the same (sucking a dick then banging like there's no tomorrow and all the fake screaming). When it's pumped it's a beautiful dick but no place to "stick it" thought about getting myself a masturbator for Christmas but when I mentioned it to the wife, she asked me if I was turning into a pervert :-( Anybody on the same boat or I'm just "lucky"?


One thing is obvious, your wife has no idea what a man needs, it has nothing to do with being a pervert, it has to do with meeting your biological needs. If she is not interested then why not seek other means. If you have your own room she does not need to know whats going on in there. You don't have to spend a lot of money on a masturbator, I got a great one for under $40. It has 6 different vibrations, 3 intensesties, and heat. I works EVERY TIME. It's rechargeable and easy to clean. PM me if you would like more info or just want to chat.
Andy
Implanted 6/26/2018, Coloplast Titan 20cm, no RTE'S, infra pubic, Dr. Rhee, Kaiser :o 8-) 79yrs., married 56 yrs. ED for over 20 yrs.


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