Having to switch from top to bottom

[brianUK]

Anyone had to switch their preferred role in sex because of ED? Any advice?

[Mtricher]

I used to top a lot more but now I’m 95% bottom. I’m married to a man but we are also open. I actually enjoy bottoming more but when I top I’m always worried about staying hard. Maybe if I had a reliable erection I’d enjoy it more? Currently using trimix but planning to get an implant in 2 months. What are you struggling with?

[GoodWood]

I identify with this post a lot. Before I got a definitive fix for my ED (implanted in march of this year) my role was very much dependent on planning ahead and lacked spontaneity.

If I expected to top I would come prepared with a pill in my system, a Trimix shot in a discreet carry case in my pocket, and a cockring. I would excuse myself to the restroom, inject, and then the countdown (of the shots effectiveness) began.

As my ED progressed that timer got shorter and shorter.
If any unexpected sex came up it was bottom or nothing.

If I thought I was going to bottom (so I didn’t bring a shot with me) and the “top” was in a mood to bottom, that couldn’t happen. (This happened more often than you would expect)

My advice for anyone in a similar situation is to get your ED treated so you have the option to do whatever you want. Pills, then shots, then implant. Those are the current options.

But now that I’m implanted I have the freedom to just relax and enjoy the moment. I can top. I can bottom. I can flip (do both). We can just enjoy oral or stroking. And most importantly, the anxiety (Will I get hard?? Will I stay hard???) is gone. I can be present and focus on my partners pleasure. I can relax and enjoy mine.