Masturbation Quotes

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Few things are as funny as unintentional phallic references or phallic symbols that no one noticed. If you find a funny picture, send it in. This is NOT the place for dirty jokes - there are lots of sites for those!
jn1421
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Masturbation Quotes

Postby jn1421 » Thu Jan 02, 2020 2:03 pm

“My first time I jacked off, I thought I'd invented it. I looked down at my sloppy handful of junk and thought, This is going to make me rich.”
― Chuck Palahniuk

“We have reason to believe that man first walked upright to free his hands for masturbation.”
― Lily Tomlin

“There are some socks that shouldn't be washed by your mom.”
― Becky Albertalli

“You cannot blame porn. When I was young, I used to masturbate to Gilligan's Island.”
― Ron Jeremy

“In the early days all I hoped was to make a living out of what I did best. But, since there’s no real market for masturbation I had to fall back on my bass playing abilities.”
― Les Claypool

“Next time she’d have to ask him to keep the light on while he did it, so she could watch his face. That was the best part of the whole thing as far as she was concerned, the way a guy’s face contorted so violently and then relaxed, as if some terrible mystery had just been solved.”
― Tom Perrotta

Lester33
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Re: Masturbation Quotes

Postby Lester33 » Thu Jan 02, 2020 5:08 pm

:lol: Great
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alfa88
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Re: Masturbation Quotes

Postby alfa88 » Thu Jan 02, 2020 5:14 pm

“You cannot blame porn. When I was young, I used to masturbate to Gilligan's Island.”

Add to that Sears catalog and the Sunday Macys ad :oops:
53 years old, married 32 years. Decades of ED & PE. BPH. Tried Viagra W & W/O T-Shots, Levitra and Cialis, Edex, Trimix starter, medium, strong with poor results, VED. Implanted w/AMS700CX 21cm X 12mm w/1.5cm RTE by Dr. Leroy Jones 9/1/20

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bldoink
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Re: Masturbation Quotes

Postby bldoink » Thu Jan 02, 2020 5:43 pm

What, no National Geo?
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Lost Sheep
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Re: Masturbation Quotes

Postby Lost Sheep » Thu Jan 02, 2020 7:10 pm

jn1421 wrote:“Next time she’d have to ask him to keep the light on while he did it, so she could watch his face. That was the best part of the whole thing as far as she was concerned, the way a guy’s face contorted so violently and then relaxed, as if some terrible mystery had just been solved.”
― Tom Perrotta


I saw (I believe it was on HBO's program, "Real Sex") a video taken for a college research project. (Cue a recollection of Senator Wiliam Proxmire's Golden Fleece Award.)

The project filmed (from just above the bustline to the full faces of) young women (college students, I guess) while they masturbated to orgasm. I wish I could find it again. Fun to watch. Not explicitly pornographic at all, but intriguing - perhaps arousing. I only saw it once.
Lost Sheep
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David_R
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Re: Masturbation Quotes

Postby David_R » Thu Jan 02, 2020 10:20 pm

bldoink wrote:What, no National Geo?

I remember in sixth grade when the teacher had a very conservative female student in our class go through National Geographic and cut out any pictures that showed women's breasts, and then the magazine was available for the class to read.

dg_moore
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Re: Masturbation Quotes

Postby dg_moore » Fri Jan 03, 2020 6:02 am

My mother was a public school art teacher for decades. At one point in the 1950s she had a teaching partner who took it upon herself to go through all of the school's art books and blank out all naughty bits, no matter how innocuous, with a fat black magic marker. My mother was furious, but apparently the school administration was fine with it
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