Hello, new poster with a drive/erection issue

[Bandit402]

Hello all, this is my first post, and I wanted to introduce myself.
I am a 56 year old man, diagnosed with mild-moderate ED and Delayed Ejaculation.
After a few of years of no sex, only masturbating, I became active again, but noticed a disturbing development. While in the middle of intercourse, I lost my erection. I had never experienced that before, and it was extremely disturbing and emasculating, especially when she thought it was her.
I went to the Urologist, and she diagnosed me with mild to moderate ED, and prescribed Sildenafil, and I later requested Tadalafil, which I responded better to…especially since Sildenafil tended to take me even longer to reach climax.
In addition to the erection issue, it took me a long time to achieve orgasm, even while masturbating.
With my girlfriend, she just needs to touch me and I get a raging hard-on, and I’m always ready to go when she gives me those looks or touches. I am always interested in sex, and wake up with morning wood every morning, but yet, I still sometimes lose my erection.
She always orgasms during intercourse (mainly cowgirl), and we’ve found the perfect position to hit her G-spot and satisfy her.
However, it takes so long to get me there, that I often don’t orgasm, but I love the intimacy no matter what. The only times I have been able to cum during sex is in doggy.
I told her that I was happy to continue like we are, and I have been dealing with this before her, I am addressing it with professionals, and at some point, it will all fall in line, but I can tell it bothers her, not only because she says she enjoys sex a lot more when I cum in her and she has more emotional enjoyment out of that, but also because a part of her thinks that she’s a part of the reason, which couldn’t be further from the truth.
While a single kiss from her gets me hard and ready, I have lost that burning, horny drive. I stopped getting pre-cum, and it takes so much to get that “tingly” or “tickling” sensation leading up to orgasm.
I thought my Testosterone was low, so I had a full panel blood test done. My total was 1037, and my free was around 125, but the sex hormone-binding gobulin was really high, and my T3 levels were off. So, I am taking Thyroid medication and Enclomiphene to try and balance everything out, but so far, the only thing I’ve noticed is a deeper voice and a little more energy.
I looked into PT-141, to directly stimulate the desire center of my brain. I think it’s something like that, instead of blood flow.
If anyone has a suggestion to get myself back to feeling extremely horny again, I would be eternally grateful!!!

[Martin6469]

Good that you have a urologist. Now find an endocrinologist who specializes in mens' sex hormones. Sometimes having normal testosterone isn't the whole story, and it's so complicated that you won't be able to figure it out by yourself.

Ideally, the endocrinologist should work together with the urologist.

(Women are always blaming themselves. I wish they would quit it!)

[Bandit402]

Thank you for your reply!

I first have an appointment with a specialist to discuss changing a medication that is known to interfere with orgasm and ejaculation. I also have a visit with an endocrinologist to nail-down any endocrinological cause. While pills help a little in the interim, I think they are temporary “band aids”, and I’m 95% sure there’s a subtle endocrine cause. I have seen a couple of sex therapists to address any psychological issue, but aside from some pointers, there doesn’t seem to be anything in my psyche causing this.
I don’t have a major blood flow problem, no psyche issues, my total Testosterone is above the normal range, and while the ratio between total and free seems to be a little low, which could balance itself out after getting my free T a little higher.
I think it’s either a sensation issue in my penis, not giving enough feedback to get me there without a lot of stimulation (maybe too much “death grip” while masturbating), or some gland or hormone making it difficult to allow me to climax normally.
While most men a using creams to delay things, I have the opposite issue.
I’ve tried getting buzzed to relax and get out of my head, but I end up with “whiskey dick”, so I might try kanna to relax and get into the moment. I don’t have a problem getting hard, but I worry too much about pleasing her, and my thoughts wander, and my dick goes soft. At least I maintain it long enough for her to have great orgasms.
While she loves and appreciates that I think of her, she wants to see me orgasm too.

Thank you again

[Martin6469]

You say that you have no "psyche issues," but you "worry about pleasing her." A lot of guys with psychological ED here say that they "worry about pleasing her." I think that some ED might be helped by shifting our "politically correct" attitudes temporarily over to our ancestral "caveman mode." Cavemen had no psychological ED. They only had her tunnel of love in mind.

As soon as you're satisfied you can be a gentleman again.