FrankTalk.org

I wanted to quickly introduce myself.

I'm a single 47 year old man from Idaho. I am currently being treated by a doctor for erectile dysfunction. At this time, we are exploring causes of the problem.
My first testosterone test came back 241 which is 59 points below the low. I am re-drawing the blood tomorrow to confirm low T. The doctor has suggested injection
therapy if my testosterone is normal. He believes my issue may be diabetes related.

My diabetes has a strange origin. I have a disorder called chylomicronemia which is a genetic disorder that causes diabetes and pancreatitis. In addition I have been diagnosed with bi-polar disorder since I was thirty. As you might suspect, adding erectile dysfunction to my list of illnesses is the last thing I need.

I had been planning to start dating next month, but this latest problem has shaken my self confidence. I am hoping that there is a simple solution, needle therapy not being one of them.

I am thankful for this board as I try to deal with my latest issue. I am hoping that I can cope with the outcome, whatever that may be.

Thanks

I thought about telling my whole story here. I have a blog where people follow my tale. If this is inappropriate mods, please feel free to delete this portion of the post. I didn't know where else to tell my story. It's long so I will skip some details.

Everything was going well until I hit massive depression and was diagnosed with bi-polar disorder at 30. Within six months I had lost all my friends, my job and my independence. I decided right then and there that I would be alone for the rest of my life. After all, who could love a man with bi-polar disorder? This was a huge mistake.

In my thirties I pushed everyone away. Women at work and college, people who just wanted to have a drink with me to be friends. I pushed them all away.

At 40 I was diagnosed with diabetes. It was a strange event because my doctors had never detected blood sugar spikes in me. At 43 I was diagnosed with chylomicronemia, a disorder that causes diabetes and pancreatitis. I spent several years in and out of the hospital with pancreatic attacks. In 2016 I was hospitalized five times. I was also put on disability the same year.

So now here I am, bi-polar, diabetic, pancreatitis, disabled (about 1K a month) and living at home at 47.

My blog is about my recent attempts at dating. I woke up at 45 and decided I didn't want to die alone, but I had let so much time go by. I am not sure how bad your life is, but mine feels painfully like a train wreck. The thought of dating is insane to me. But here I am fighting against the stream.

And now, it looks like I have Erectile Dysfunction.

How I have not "checked out" is a miracle. I have thought about it a lot. I have an exceptional counselor that has pulled me back from the edge more than once.

I hear all you guys talk about girlfriends and wives. I am insanely jealous. I am not really looking for sex as much as someone to give a damn about who I can love.
I suppose the question is now, with all of my problems, can I pull it off? We'll see.

Thanks for listening.

Hello from western Montana

Welcome! There are a few of us from Idaho here, including me. I live west of Boise. I'm diabetic, also, and know some of what you're going through. My ED started in my late 40s from the diabetes and got much worse during my 50s. At age 59 I found out that I had prostate cancer and the radiation therapy for that took out almost all erectile function that I had left. My T level is about the same as yours, and I did pellets for about 6 months. Brought up the testosterone but I didn't feel any useful effects.

I tried all the normal things for ED - pills, vacuum erection device (VED), injections - and about a year ago I got an implant. Great decision for me, and I wish I'd done it sooner.

There are a lot of guys here that will help answer questions and give advice. The best advice is to get a very good doctor that specializes in men's sexual health. I, for one, had a competent urologist that did great for normal issues but wasn't very interested in the sexual side of things. Changing from him to a urologist who specializes in sexual wellbeing helped immensely.

Welcome to the group, but sorry you have to be here.

Best wishes,
Quincy.

Good advice Quincy, my surgeon is a specialist in sexual medicine and prosthetic Urology. Dr Brian Christine Urology Centers Of Alabama.

Ratt19 wrote:
I hear all you guys talk about girlfriends and wives. I am insanely jealous. I am not really looking for sex as much as someone to give a damn about who I can love.
I suppose the question is now, with all of my problems, can I pull it off? We'll see.

Internet date sites work but you have to accept most encounters will be from limited chemistry to disasters, and keep trying for the few good ones. I found Match.com to be the best but at your age perhaps a different one ? OKCupid was ok too. EHarmony was surprisingly bad...sounds like it would be best by the commercials but matches were terrible for me anyway.

I’ve heard good things about “Hinge” as a dating site that is more serious and less hook-up focused. Add that to the list of things to explore.

Ratt19 wrote:
I hear all you guys talk about girlfriends and wives. I am insanely jealous. I am not really looking for sex as much as someone to give a damn about who I can love.
I suppose the question is now, with all of my problems, can I pull it off? We'll see.

When I posted my profile on "Plenty of Fish", I explained (in detail) my situation. Here is the outline:

I seek a kind woman to accompany my on my journey from impotence to successful treatment. A "Lab Partner" and sex both before and after treatment would be likely. I described my personality a bit.

I got a lot of responses, almost all of them positive and a half-dozen applicants, four of whom (after meeting me for dinner) were willing to take the entire journey with me.

Women are incredibly supportive when they feel respected, trusted and safe. I got a lot of respect for my candor about my E.D. They called it courage. I called it desperation or maybe determination. I think women respect a man willing to admit when he needs help and is not afraid to ask for it. The classic counter-example is the guy who will not stop to ask for directions even when he is clearly lost.

Take my example as one testimonial for complete candor. It will eliminate a lot of bad second dates.

Just got home in Baton Rouge after an extended visit to Idaho. Such a beautiful state. Visited several guys that are here on FT. You should get to know them.

I don't know if this counsel is appropriate for you, so don't be offended, please. This also is a humorous piece of wisdom, so take it in that vein. It may not be advice you need to follow, but thinking about the issues addressed.

One piece of advice for people in recovery (applicable to many types of recovery):

Get a houseplant. If, after a year the plant is still alive, get a pet. If after a year, the pet is still alive, then start to date.

The houseplant proves that you can sustain another being.
The pet proves that you can not only sustain another being who is dependent on you, but will tell you if you can maintain any sort of dialogue.

I usually recommend a dog. In addition to the obvious relationship benefits, a dog gets you outside for exercise, is a good listener (and excellent as a counselor - they will never divulge any secrets you share with them) and, when you do start to date, help break the ice with caring, friendly women.

Hello! I am new here, nice to meet you. If you need to talk to smb please PM me