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Hello! 34, gay in Halifax, NS. Been having ED problems since 23 and am now taking Viagra, with some success, but trying to get to the underlying problem which I think is performance anxiety, which has caused me to become a reluctant bottom. Would love to be able to top! This group looks like a great place for me to start figuring out where to go from here!

Welcome to the group. You mentioned "performance anxiety"...A non-surgical path may be Yoga or some type pf self meditation for relaxation...this does not come (no pun intended) overnight but once you master a relaxation technique that works for you WAM YOUR ON TOP! On the surgical side an implant may be useful to you to consider. Just my thoughts

Welcome macdmq! You'll find great advise in this forum that will be sure to help you deal with your issue. I suffered from varying degrees of ED since my late 20's. Caused me lots of embarrassment and stress. I kept blaming myself and saying its performance anxiety. But that was little comfort to the ladies that were left with me just hanging loose. Most were pretty understanding and I put way more pressure on myself than they did. I had tremendous desire but just couldn't get my member to cooperate fully. Sometimes it would work great and I could get 3 or 4 session in on a single night. But anyway, like you, I just wanted to rule out any physical issues before I tried some sort of therapy for the anxiety. Had a Urologist do a good checkup and he found that I suffered from venous leakage. While not good news, it was a relief that this problem had not just been in my head this whole time. After that doctor tried various treatments until we found the right one for my situation. (in my case, injections with Alprostatil)

My point is, before stressing yourself out, get checked out. It can be a life saver for your sex life.

Thanks guys! There seems to be a lot of useful info on here and lots of support. I'm going to see how well the Viagra works, and you are right, I should look into meditation or yoga. If all else fails I will pursue it more with my MD. I had actually never even heard of venous leakage until I visited this page.

macdmq wrote:Hello! 34, gay in Halifax, NS. Been having ED problems since 23 and am now taking Viagra, with some success, but trying to get to the underlying problem which I think is performance anxiety, which has caused me to become a reluctant bottom. Would love to be able to top! This group looks like a great place for me to start figuring out where to go from here!

Performance anxiety is a consequence, not a root cause of e.d. Do see a urologist, get a diagnosis, and start on your road to recovery and satisfaction.