What makes for a long, happy marriage/relationship?

There is more to sex than an erect penis. How do you maintain your sexuality both for yourself and for your partner? What techniques do you use to give both of you a great, satisfying sex life? How do you explore your own body and sexuality now that the rules have changed?
Seeking
Posts: 76
Joined: Sun Mar 15, 2015 12:03 pm

What makes for a long, happy marriage/relationship?

Postby Seeking » Sat Mar 11, 2017 8:28 am

Few men are more introspective than those found on this board and we have many members here who are at various stages through married life and long term relationships. I'd like to ask - given the immense honesty of those who post here - what makes a long and happy marriage for you?

Being FrankTalk, I don't need to iterate that anything goes here - answers as common as "communication" or as leftfield as "she needs to be a freak in the sack to make it last" are all welcome. Also, this might sound a bit weird as obviously all responses are anecdotal, but answers based on your actual experience of your relationship, as opposed to what you feel the 'consensus' generally is across society, would be perfect...basically the opposite of anything you'd find on the "Men's Health - Top 10 Ways to Have a Happy Relationship" ;)

After getting implanted this year I'm looking to meet someone before settling down and really want my negative experiences of the past 5 years, coupled with the immense knowledge gained from this board, to give me a head start in laying good foundations for my future relationship(s).

As always, this is much appreciated guys.

dg_moore
Posts: 1401
Joined: Mon Apr 25, 2011 9:34 am

Re: What makes for a long, happy marriage/relationship?

Postby dg_moore » Sat Mar 11, 2017 8:52 am

As a friend of mine has said, 80% of a happy marriage is just putting up with one another. Without getting too mystical about it, loving one another, being trustworthy, and having each other's back are vital. Sex can be part of it, but is not a necessary ingredient - our sex life ended many years ago, and our bond is none the weaker for its loss.
Dave, 76, Maryland - Implant (Titan) 2008 by Dr. Andrew Kramer - never used due to a stroke that, among other things, ended my sex life.
Life is not the way it's supposed to be, it's the way it is.

stephen54
Posts: 81
Joined: Sun Nov 10, 2019 11:43 am
Location: Midwest

Re: What makes for a long, happy marriage/relationship?

Postby stephen54 » Mon Dec 02, 2019 10:17 pm

Seeking wrote:Few men are more introspective than those found on this board and we have many members here who are at various stages through married life and long term relationships. I'd like to ask - given the immense honesty of those who post here - what makes a long and happy marriage for you?

Being FrankTalk, I don't need to iterate that anything goes here - answers as common as "communication" or as leftfield as "she needs to be a freak in the sack to make it last" are all welcome. Also, this might sound a bit weird as obviously all responses are anecdotal, but answers based on your actual experience of your relationship, as opposed to what you feel the 'consensus' generally is across society, would be perfect...basically the opposite of anything you'd find on the "Men's Health - Top 10 Ways to Have a Happy Relationship" ;)

After getting implanted this year I'm looking to meet someone before settling down and really want my negative experiences of the past 5 years, coupled with the immense knowledge gained from this board, to give me a head start in laying good foundations for my future relationship(s).

As always, this is much appreciated guys.


I'm new here on FT so I'm trolling through the boards' topics and I ran across this one. I was surprised to see no real activity/responses. I think it's a great question to ponder and one which is threaded through so many of the other things talked about here.

I had a 22 year marriage which produced three great kids but which just did not possess a depth of intimacy nor the other bonds necessary in my book to allow it to be given the chance to continue beyond the 22 years. Divorced. Met a new girl. Have been with her for 9 years, and married this year. They are so fundamentally different. Emotionally, physically, sexually...so different. It really does make one wonder how we prioritize and put emphasis on what matters most to us. My wife now clicks with me so strongly on so many levels so this is a fun exercise to write out. She embodies and practices so many traits which were missing in my first marriage (which began at such a young age...and you just don't know what you don't know...too young, too immature, not enough resolve).

So if we're going, as you asked for, on actual experiences in my relationship, I would say these all play a role to varying degrees, and that each of these have been critical:

- Trust actual, deep, abiding trust. (elusive to come by; utter magic when you attain it)
- Allowing Oneself to be Vulnerable (taking risks, splaying yourself gloriously and frighteningly wide open)
- Always assume her intentions are the Best
- Curiosity (genuinely wondering, asking her things)
- Listen More, Talk Less
- Be as Naked as Possible as Often as Possible (seriously. we're empty nesters. we don't need fucking clothing. it's fun and it reinforces my interest in her every line and every curve at every moment). Naked physicality leads naturally to emotional nakedness and that's just awesome.
- Brag about cool, good things she does (being openly proud of her and stating it, not just to her, but to friends and family)
- Take sexual risks, push sexual boundaries, talk openly and ASK for WHAT INTERESTS YOU
- Touch her. Touch her. Touch her. (in any and every situation. not necessarily meaning salaciously, although that's a given. but also...just casually and frequently touch her. she should just feel like you can't keep your hands off of her. that's a hell of a feeling for a human being. give her that. you may be amazed what you get in return)
- Ask her opinions on things
- Do some things her way even when you have no real idea why, and without any discernible resistance. Just say, "ok!".
- Admit quickly and openly when you fuck up. Never equivocate or make excuses.
- When you have sex with her...ravish her. Consume her. Make her feel like life as you both know it depends wholly on the intensity with which you are driving toward her, clutching her, and fucking her. Make sure you make love to her. Gentle has its place and it's critical. But so does fucking her into a sputtering, stupefied exhaustion. You both need both.

Just a few top line thoughts about the things which make she and I work so well. Will be interested if this thread wakes up. I hope to read others' thoughts on their successful relationships!

Greg1956
Posts: 1536
Joined: Sun Aug 06, 2017 8:35 am
Location: Atlanta, GA USA

Re: What makes for a long, happy marriage/relationship?

Postby Greg1956 » Thu Dec 05, 2019 9:21 am

My wife and I recently had our 30 year anniversary. There is so much that goes into keeping our relationship strong. These are in no particular order.

1. Open Communication
This includes being observant when something is not being said. We draw things out of each other to make sure all is OK.

2. Participating in each other’s interests
We take turns choosing things to do in our free time. Sometimes it isn’t the way either of us would chose to spend our time, but we do it for each other.

3. Taking care of our health and bodies

4. Complimenting each other

5. Bragging to others about how lucky we are to have each other.

6. Automatically doing household tasks for each other.

7. Doing unexpected things for each other, just because.

8. Proactively asking questions about things we are each doing

9. Sexually, being more concerned about the other’s satisfaction than our own. Surprisingly, the result is being more personally satisfied.

10. Not hiding anything. For example, I still have the same intense sex drive I had as a teenager. My wife loves sex and for to people in our early 60’s we have great sex often, but my drive still wants more. My wife understands and I am able to masturbate in bed with her beside me. That way I can take my time rather than a rush job in the shower. She realizes it makes me more fulfilled so essentially I am a better man for her.

11. Sex is important, but not the glue that holds us together. All the years I had severe ED she stuck by me and we made do with the way it was.
I am 63 and had ED from a VL. Implanted by Dr. Ronald Anglade in Atlanta on 9/18/17. I have an AMS700LGX 21 cm via a Penoscrotal incision. Very happy with results. 5 3/4” soft and 6 3/4” x 5 5/8” hard.


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