touble getting wife on board

There is more to sex than an erect penis. How do you maintain your sexuality both for yourself and for your partner? What techniques do you use to give both of you a great, satisfying sex life? How do you explore your own body and sexuality now that the rules have changed?
Lost Sheep
Posts: 6131
Joined: Mon Jul 04, 2016 11:16 pm

Re: touble getting wife on board

Postby Lost Sheep » Tue Feb 26, 2019 2:36 pm

QuestionGuy wrote:I have to ask: are you being sarcastic when you say you’ve been a lifelong bachelor, and therefore feel like an authority on the subject of marriage? (as in “you dodged that bullet” ?) It’s sometimes hard to tell if things in print are serious, or “tongue in cheek”. Anyway, you sound like a great guy, and you make a lot of supportive posts to guys on this forum, but I think our difference of opinion regarding sexual strategy is likely a product of very different life experiences.

There is another saying about men in Alaska. In years past, Alaska attracted a particular (possibly peculiar) type of man and very few women. So, the ratio of men to women in years past was very high. So, were advised: "The odds are good. But the goods are odd." :roll:

Yes, my comment about my qualification to give advice is tongue-in-cheek, but partly serious. I have observed marriages and thought about my relationships with women and my near-misses at making a Miss a Mrs. I like to think of it as less sarcastic than wry.

Of course, our life experiences are vastly different. One thing is that I lived a nomad's life. Raised in a military family, we moved often, then after my High School and College years, I joined the military myself and moved several times. My Brother had the same history of movement and he responded differently.

Thank you for the compliment on my posts. I try to make the world a better place in my wake and appreciate your efforts as well.
Lost Sheep
AMS LGX 18+3 Nov 6, 2017
Prostate Cancer 2023
READ OLD THREADS-ask better questions -better understand answers
Be part of your medical team
Document pre-op size-photos and written records
Pre-op VED therapy helps. Post-op is another matter

oldbeek
Posts: 2441
Joined: Sun Sep 10, 2017 1:46 pm
Location: Los Angeles area

Re: touble getting wife on board

Postby oldbeek » Sat Mar 23, 2019 3:01 pm

My wife was the most erotic woman I have ever known. We had sex almost every day our whole life and sometimes several times a day. She liked everything. Her mother came to live with us for a few months and I never got a single fuck in all that time. Moved mom into her own house and things got back to normal. At 75 prostate cancer came knocking. Same time had to move mom (96) in with us. After RP, all nerves removed, she said she didn't know why I would want to get an implant. She has absolute 0 sex drive. I really think it is all in her head with mom around. When I mention going camping in our RV, away from mom, she says, I have no desire for sex anymore. About ready to go find a woman that would really like to fuck.
82, good health, RP 7-2017, all nerves taken , PSA 0.05, 4-18,, .07 1/19,.05 4/19, .03 11-21, .04 11-23, implanted 4-1-18, Infra-pubic, AMS lgx 15 cm with 5cm rte. Implant at USC Keck. Dr Boyd and Dr Loh Doyle 6.5 x 5, 800 AUS 7-21-20

antelope
Posts: 1497
Joined: Sun Nov 14, 2010 3:17 am
Location: Baton Rouge

Re: touble getting wife on board

Postby antelope » Sat Mar 23, 2019 5:38 pm

No judgment here. I think many of us can relate.
Born 1948, wed 1969. BPH & Type II Diabetes at age 35. TURP-2002; ED even before that--diabetes. Cardiac valve surgery: 2007 & 2019. Poor results with pills. Started trimix injections in Nov, 2010. Great results from the very beginning.

Larry10625

Re: touble getting wife on board

Postby Larry10625 » Sun Mar 24, 2019 4:27 am

phz1950 wrote:Well, I've had Trimix for 3 weeks now. Tried it twice. Second time was successful. Hardest cock I've/we've had in years. lasted about an hour. I was so excited that this finally seemed to fix a long time problem. We've been together for 45 years now and I was hoping that our new found retirement could rekindle our lost love life. My wife has been menopausal for 25 years and her COPD meds don't help. She doesn't seem to have any desire to try. This has brought me down. I don't want to force her to comply as that would just defeat the purpose. I masturbated last week to relieve the tension. My doesn't know I mastrubate, I hate keeping secrets. Its was one thing to have ED and know that I couldn't jack off or get hard but now after just 2 injections I know I can get hard anytime I want. When I tried to jack off I got 80% hard and it felt good. I'm really at a lose. I feel like packing up the Trimix freezing the second bottle (first one already in the freezer) and quit. I love my wife too much to pressure her into doing anything. I don't even want to see the needles around anymore, it just reminds me of a solution that can't or won't be executed.
has this problem reared it's head for anyone else? I'm looking for some advice. Just trying to revive something we enjoyed.
thanks
ps. I'm a lucky guy that just has ED NOT caused by prostrate problems. My hat is off to all you guys that have fought back an won.


Welcome to Frank Talk.
Please create a signature. It makes things much easier to answer your questions without asking a lot of questions. Here's how you do it
Click on your name in the top right corner and select "user control panel"

Then under the big letters "User Control Panel" there is a row of words... select "Profile"

Then down the left had side of the "User Control Panel" select "Edit Signature" (You might have Create Signature or something. I don't know exactly what you'll get because I already have a signature to edit)

Most guys put something like what I have, but you can put whatever you want. Here is mine -
51 years old, married 29 years. Implanted Mar 30/17 by Dr. Brock of London, Ont, CANADA. (AMS 700 CX 18 + 2). Had implant removed Apr 29/17 due to Septic Shock. Liposuction By Dr. Gan and re-implant by Dr. Brock (AMS LGX 15 + 2) Dec 14/17.

Don't get too carried away with the doctor like his name, address, phone number, etc (anything that looks like advertising for him).. you can certainly say Dr. Jones (great Dr.)

Can you please be sure to put your city, state/province and country.

If you need further help, please ask, that's what I'm here for.

Larry
Moderator

Larry10625

Re: touble getting wife on board

Postby Larry10625 » Sun Mar 24, 2019 4:36 am

oldbeek wrote:My wife was the most erotic woman I have ever known. We had sex almost every day our whole life and sometimes several times a day. She liked everything. Her mother came to live with us for a few months and I never got a single fuck in all that time. Moved mom into her own house and things got back to normal. At 75 prostate cancer came knocking. Same time had to move mom (96) in with us. After RP, all nerves removed, she said she didn't know why I would want to get an implant. She has absolute 0 sex drive. I really think it is all in her head with mom around. When I mention going camping in our RV, away from mom, she says, I have no desire for sex anymore. About ready to go find a woman that would really like to fuck.



See, this is BS. You have NORMAL desires that most men have... how come they just get to say.. "nope, I am done with sex, I don't want it anymore? Then the expect us to be faithful..... NO way Jose. I would be finding a female or may sex kitten (or cat... older means more experienced) or I would be checking out the professional ladies. We stay loyal and true to our ladies for decades and then the say.... All done, you get no more, and we are suppose to respect and abide by that..... NOPE They are forcing us into having an affair :(

Larry

dg_moore
Posts: 1885
Joined: Mon Apr 25, 2011 9:34 am

Re: touble getting wife on board

Postby dg_moore » Sun Mar 24, 2019 9:08 am

Could it be that the woman's loss of desire, which is a natural process, is just as compelling to her as your - also natural - urges are to you? So how do you resolve the tension between two competing, completely natural - not intentional - forces? My wife continued to participate in sex for a while after her interest waned, but she was not in the least disappointed when I lost my desire. We have not been intimate for over 10 years, and we're fine with it because neither of us is interested. The difficulties arise when one partner is interested and the other is not, but casting blame is not helpful.
Dave, 80, Maryland - Implant (Titan) 2008 by Dr. Andrew Kramer (failed Sept 2020) - never used due to a stroke that, among other things, ended my sex life.
Life is not the way it's supposed to be, it's the way it is.

Larry10625

Re: touble getting wife on board

Postby Larry10625 » Sun Mar 24, 2019 9:11 am

dg_moore wrote:Could it be that the woman's loss of desire, which is a natural process, is just as compelling to her as your - also natural - urges are to you? So how do you resolve the tension between two competing, completely natural - not intentional - forces? My wife continued to participate in sex for a while after her interest waned, but she was not in the least disappointed when I lost my desire. We have not been intimate for over 10 years, and we're fine with it because neither of us is interested. The difficulties arise when one partner is interested and the other is not, but casting blame is not helpful.



I know Dave, I agree... That's why I have remained faithful for 30 years (this July 22). It's just so frustrating. What happens if I never lose my desire? :(

Larry

dg_moore
Posts: 1885
Joined: Mon Apr 25, 2011 9:34 am

Re: touble getting wife on board

Postby dg_moore » Sun Mar 24, 2019 3:50 pm

As we all are painfully aware, life isn't fair, unfortunately. I guess we just muddle through the best we can.
Dave, 80, Maryland - Implant (Titan) 2008 by Dr. Andrew Kramer (failed Sept 2020) - never used due to a stroke that, among other things, ended my sex life.
Life is not the way it's supposed to be, it's the way it is.

Robert66
Posts: 688
Joined: Thu Dec 28, 2017 10:39 pm

Re: touble getting wife on board

Postby Robert66 » Mon Mar 25, 2019 1:29 pm

Move to Asia many under 30 looking for stable old fart and don't mind 1 hour a day to keep them happy it's harder to find size 12 shoes then a gf
edex and tri mix 45/1/27 26 units

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Masonjames
Posts: 645
Joined: Sat Mar 16, 2019 3:54 pm
Location: Georgia

Re: touble getting wife on board

Postby Masonjames » Fri Apr 19, 2019 8:54 am

Never understood how a wife or husband could think that just because they are not interested, that their mate should just accept it. A sex drive will find an outlet somewhere and it is not fair to the partner to expect them to become celebrate just because they are.
It's a real challenge to a marriage. Thank God my wife still likes it.
70 year old, Married 53 years with two adult children.
Tried pills, herbs, and Trimix. Implanted by Dr. Hakky , in Atlanta, on the 1st, of September. Titan XL 24cm's with two 1.5cm"s RTE"s


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