touble getting wife on board

There is more to sex than an erect penis. How do you maintain your sexuality both for yourself and for your partner? What techniques do you use to give both of you a great, satisfying sex life? How do you explore your own body and sexuality now that the rules have changed?
phz1950
Posts: 8
Joined: Mon Feb 20, 2017 11:22 am

touble getting wife on board

Postby phz1950 » Sat Mar 11, 2017 8:05 am

Well, I've had Trimix for 3 weeks now. Tried it twice. Second time was successful. Hardest cock I've/we've had in years. lasted about an hour. I was so excited that this finally seemed to fix a long time problem. We've been together for 45 years now and I was hoping that our new found retirement could rekindle our lost love life. My wife has been menopausal for 25 years and her COPD meds don't help. She doesn't seem to have any desire to try. This has brought me down. I don't want to force her to comply as that would just defeat the purpose. I masturbated last week to relieve the tension. My doesn't know I mastrubate, I hate keeping secrets. Its was one thing to have ED and know that I couldn't jack off or get hard but now after just 2 injections I know I can get hard anytime I want. When I tried to jack off I got 80% hard and it felt good. I'm really at a lose. I feel like packing up the Trimix freezing the second bottle (first one already in the freezer) and quit. I love my wife too much to pressure her into doing anything. I don't even want to see the needles around anymore, it just reminds me of a solution that can't or won't be executed.
has this problem reared it's head for anyone else? I'm looking for some advice. Just trying to revive something we enjoyed.
thanks
ps. I'm a lucky guy that just has ED NOT caused by prostrate problems. My hat is off to all you guys that have fought back an won.

dg_moore
Posts: 1202
Joined: Mon Apr 25, 2011 9:34 am

Re: touble getting wife on board

Postby dg_moore » Sat Mar 11, 2017 8:58 am

This is by no means unusual. There are plenty of men here whose wives are no longer interested or receptive. I am one of them - I got an implant in the hopes that our sex life could be restored after years of ED, but it was not to be. My wife had lost interest long before, and I had a stroke that killed my libido. We/I are perfectly happy with our loving, but platonic, relationship.
Dave, 75, Maryland - Implant (Titan) 2008 by Dr. Andrew Kramer - never used due to a stroke that, among other things, ended my sex life.
Life is not the way it's supposed to be, it's the way it is.

Cigar56
Posts: 523
Joined: Fri Aug 15, 2014 10:56 am

Re: touble getting wife on board

Postby Cigar56 » Sat Mar 11, 2017 10:20 am

My advice: You should get to a place where at a minimum, your wife supports your desire to masturbate. Obviously, full marital intercourse would be best, but if you still have the desire it shouldn't be all or nothing. There are ways she can help you enjoy sex even if it does not mean vaginal intercourse. Try having some conversations with her. You might be surprised what you can work out.
Last edited by Cigar56 on Mon Mar 13, 2017 12:50 pm, edited 1 time in total.
62. Was under "active surveillance" for prostate cancer. Scheduled for prostate radiation -- Stereotactic Body Radiotherapy (SBRT) -- in December 2018. Considered implant for ED but decided to stay with injections.

dg_moore
Posts: 1202
Joined: Mon Apr 25, 2011 9:34 am

Re: touble getting wife on board

Postby dg_moore » Sat Mar 11, 2017 12:27 pm

You're right, Cigar. But in our case my wife lost desire for any form of intimacy (but with my loss of libido I did as well, so we're on the same page).
Dave, 75, Maryland - Implant (Titan) 2008 by Dr. Andrew Kramer - never used due to a stroke that, among other things, ended my sex life.
Life is not the way it's supposed to be, it's the way it is.

phz1950
Posts: 8
Joined: Mon Feb 20, 2017 11:22 am

Re: touble getting wife on board

Postby phz1950 » Sat Mar 11, 2017 1:25 pm

thanks guys I'll try to keep you posted

AnotherOldMan
Posts: 103
Joined: Tue Dec 27, 2016 9:52 am

Re: touble getting wife on board

Postby AnotherOldMan » Sun Mar 12, 2017 9:19 am

I think it kind of depends on what how your pre-menopausal sex life was for her.

There are many studies that detail the benefits of a rich, fulfilling sex life for women after menopause. They have to work for it as we men do.
Lubes, sex toys, and even clitoral creams are just a few things that can help.
Then there is this study: https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/11480099
Yes, pumps for women can also help!
All of these methods depend on the woman taking an active part in continuing her sex life.
74 years old, married 50+ years, wife 75 years old
Started using VED about 2 or 3 years ago.

Cigar56
Posts: 523
Joined: Fri Aug 15, 2014 10:56 am

Re: touble getting wife on board

Postby Cigar56 » Mon Mar 13, 2017 12:56 pm

dg_moore wrote:You're right, Cigar. But in our case my wife lost desire for any form of intimacy (but with my loss of libido I did as well, so we're on the same page).


Dave, I believe intimacy can be restored, and I think there are workarounds for a loss of libido. BUT if you and your wife are both perfectly content with a sexless marriage then that's just fine too. That means you're both on the same page.

In your case with an implant, you know that physically you can have sex even if you don't desire it. If your wife suddenly desires sex again you could satisfy her. That's the great thing about implants. But as long as you are both happy without sex you all have a situation that works for you both. Congrats on that.
62. Was under "active surveillance" for prostate cancer. Scheduled for prostate radiation -- Stereotactic Body Radiotherapy (SBRT) -- in December 2018. Considered implant for ED but decided to stay with injections.

dg_moore
Posts: 1202
Joined: Mon Apr 25, 2011 9:34 am

Re: touble getting wife on board

Postby dg_moore » Mon Mar 13, 2017 1:05 pm

You're right, Cigar. If you both want sex, or neither wants sex, everything is fine. It's that middle ground where everything goes south.
Dave, 75, Maryland - Implant (Titan) 2008 by Dr. Andrew Kramer - never used due to a stroke that, among other things, ended my sex life.
Life is not the way it's supposed to be, it's the way it is.

AnotherOldMan
Posts: 103
Joined: Tue Dec 27, 2016 9:52 am

Re: touble getting wife on board

Postby AnotherOldMan » Mon Mar 13, 2017 3:05 pm

If you both want sex, or neither wants sex, everything is fine. It's that middle ground where everything goes south.


Very true! My feeling is that she more or less set the time, place and frequency(with few exceptions) when we were "in our prime". If for any reason she wished to shut
it down at this stage then that is what we would do and I would do my best to make it seem like a mutual decision.
74 years old, married 50+ years, wife 75 years old
Started using VED about 2 or 3 years ago.

Cigar56
Posts: 523
Joined: Fri Aug 15, 2014 10:56 am

Re: touble getting wife on board

Postby Cigar56 » Mon Mar 13, 2017 3:37 pm

AnotherOldMan wrote:
If you both want sex, or neither wants sex, everything is fine. It's that middle ground where everything goes south.


Very true! My feeling is that she more or less set the time, place and frequency(with few exceptions) when we were "in our prime". If for any reason she wished to shut
it down at this stage then that is what we would do and I would do my best to make it seem like a mutual decision.


Well, I am 61 and my sex drive seems higher than ever. At this point I would not stop having sex if my wife simply decided to quit. If she did that I would exercise my right to masturbate in private, which of course is a form of sex. Whether that would be enough would be something we'd have to determine.
62. Was under "active surveillance" for prostate cancer. Scheduled for prostate radiation -- Stereotactic Body Radiotherapy (SBRT) -- in December 2018. Considered implant for ED but decided to stay with injections.


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