Masturbating/Getting Off With a Flaccid Dick

There is more to sex than an erect penis. How do you maintain your sexuality both for yourself and for your partner? What techniques do you use to give both of you a great, satisfying sex life? How do you explore your own body and sexuality now that the rules have changed?
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Masturbating/Getting Off With a Flaccid Dick

Postby thinktank » Wed May 25, 2011 6:26 pm

Hello Guys.

Received a PM from Paul our great administrator who asked that I begin a thread on this section of the website on this subject.

First let me say that I have benefitted greatly from the wonderful transparency I see exhibited here among guys struggling to hang on to their sexuality and combat E D. For me, approaching age 65, I can feel the ravages of age and lesser erectile health. I have tried the pills but presently am trying to do everything to go at it with out pills or help. My sweetie has come to my aid with help in getting me aroused and hard for sex. She likes things fast and furious but is adjusting to an aging pecker. Thankfully my nipples are highly erogenous and she works them with lots of foreplay, arousal, and the touching of as many erogenous parts as I can get her to to help get me hard. Often in sex we will have to stop and do some nipple play, oral on me or whatever to help a flagging erection get harder. When my erection falls below 80 % or so, I get a little anxious to get it back up to something better. Strange how much of our masculinity is linked to the hardness of our dicks.

So on to solo work. My wife is menopausal and I cannot convince her how sexual my mind is even at my age. She is not well nor does she desire sex like I do. So that brings up times for solo/self release. A little self revelation may be in order from me to begin this thread on what I do to get off with an aging dick

I have learned that arousal using my nipples is best to get going before I ever touch my dick. Tweaking my nipples in all manners possible and deeply relaxing
seem to make P/pleasant waves eminate from my prostate and energizes my body. Soon I can feel my dick engourge slightly and then comes the attention to my frenulum, coronal ridge and the use of my foreskin to up sensations dramatically as I enjoy and savor each moment of the journey paying little attention to getting to the destination (like I did as a teenager.) I am thankful my dad, I would suppose, chose not to circumcise me and my foreskin has become a boon to arousal and enjoyment in my senior years especially. The foreskin grip method as set out on is a great way to up sensations using the foreskin against the frenulum and the coronal ridge.

SLOWY, my dick will harden to about 80% given this type of attention to my nipples and stroking my shaft, sweet spot, coronal ridge etc. My erectile hardness is directly related to how much time I have to play, the stress in my life, the anxiety I may be under, and how high my libido is, how relaxed I am. Once the wonderful orgasmic feelings start to emerge in my loins, my groin, and my thighs, I will get harder...........and get to about 95% hard before I spurt. Edging will make me harder when I do actually spurt....maybe over 95% if I have time to edge.

I know that given my track record losing hardness, that lesser erections and flaccid days jacking are probably ahead. I have wondered what that would be like and that is why I posted my question on the Injection thread. A couple of guys have already answered on that thread so someone with more know-how than me should probably move those comments here.

Again, I thank you guys for your transparency. Funny thing...we would have never talked like this as younger men when we were full of Testosterone and driven for sex as young men. But now, our vulnerability has made us more mellow and it is comforting to talk to good guys who may be in the same condition who can make suggestions. Thanks again Paul, and all of you guys for this great website. LET THE DISCUSSIONS BEGIN.

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Re: Masturbating/Getting Off With a Flaccid Dick

Postby antelope » Thu May 26, 2011 10:30 am

Dear Think,

Even though I'm normally shy and bashful and have a hard time thinking of something to say, I thought I might try to answer your question. You wanted Frank Talk? Here ii is.

Learning to wank with a softie/chubby/semi or any other less than magnificent state of penile arousal is not something any of us had on our bucket list. Rather, it is something we found necessary to learn in order to try to relieve some of the frustration and stress associated with the old Hawaiian disease lackanooky. My case history will tell you that I had inconsistent and mediocre results from the pills. So I have plenty of experience in the wanking with a softie department. Basically, what I figured out through trial and error was that using all of my imagination, very vivid visual stimulation, and plenty of lubricant, I could make very rapid hand motions in, under, and around Little Spike and eventually succeed in getting off. Over time, I was able to refine that technique in two ways that I can think of right this minute. One was to buy a cheap pump and use it for a few minutes before beginning a wank session. Pumping for a few minutes draws some blood into the little man and allows me to start with at least some semblance of an erection. Even a soft and partial erection is better raw material than zippo. The other thing I learned is that I can use my left hand as a kind of co*ck ring. I just form a "V" with the first two fingers--I don't try to use my whole fist. (Besides, my teeny weeny isn't big enough for two fists.) Pressing on the pubic bone with the bridge of my palm is actually stimulating and inserting my hoohoo in the crotch of the "V" gives me a co*ck ring of sorts. Bottom line: it's not that much different from what I was doing at 14. I've just learned to compensate for changes to the instrument. And even with my trimix success, I pump on non injection days and one thing leads to another....

That's my story and I'm sticking to it. Do your own experiments. I have no doubt you'll find the adjustments you need to make. The new reality is what it is; but there are always to adapt to it. If you have any questions, don't hesitate to ask. Having written a jack off narrative, there's not much left to hide.

Good luck and hard times. If you'd like to report back, I'd love to hear how it goes.


Age 62, married 41 years. BPH and Type II Diabetes 25 years. TURP 7 yrs ago; some ED issues about the same length of time. Cardiac valve replacement surgery 3 years ago. ED driven by diabetes. Tried pills. Just started injections. So far, so good.
antelope Posts: 281Joined: Sun Nov 14, 2010 3:17 amLocation: Baton Rouge
Born 1948, wed 1969. BPH & Type II Diabetes at age 35. TURP-2002; ED even before that--diabetes. Cardiac valve surgery: 2007 & 2019. Poor results with pills. Started trimix injections in Nov, 2010. Great results from the very beginning.

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Re: Masturbating/Getting Off With a Flaccid Dick

Postby barfinkl1 » Thu May 26, 2011 10:33 am

Think ~ Great post Greg. Wanking when there's no wind in the sails takes an adjustment...but I don't think anyone was more surprised when I came the first time after my surgery and of course, was totally flaccid. honestly, I didn't know you could do that. Mine was explosive feeling and about knocked me off my feet. And that's the way they've been for me now. Much more intense than they were before surgery. Kinda wierd but I'm glad. I don't always use lube as the extra friction without it is sometimes a good thing for me. I've also lost of a lot of sensation in my genitals, though my balls, if I touch them a certain way, can be sensitive. I'm thinking some of my loss of sensitivity is caused by my diabetes type II. I was beginning to suffer ED somewhat prior to the surgery, mostly attributable to the DMII. So I use shots now...for my first year, I used the VED and liked the nice hard erection I got, but it was too cold. I use the shots just for therapy as my wife and I, like many others, don't have sex anymore. Not sure why that is...we have a visit with my uro on Friday and he's going to discuss an implant for me. My wife has indicated she thought she would like that. I won't go there unless she convinces me that we will have a sexlife afterward. That's a painful and expensive fix for a broke dick if there's nothing to do with it but wank. But I I use the occasional injection of trimix and then I'll masturbate. Nice to have something solid to hold onto once in awhile. I have also begun using the Aneros progasm and while it hasn't yet given me that elusive super O, after I've lost patience waiting for something to happen, I'll finish off masturbating with it still in. That's a WOW. Some of my best orgasms ever. And I actually get little Charlie to respond a bit more than normal so at the time of orgasm, he's bigger than he ever is at orgasm. But this club we belong to certainly wasn't by choice, but here we all are. And I very much appreciate all the frank talk I find here. It's good to know we're not alone. I've been married 41 years and you'd think I'd have figured out the rules with my wife, but it seems she changed them in a way I can't master. 3 years without sex is no record, I know, but it sure isn't a record I wanna beat. The situation is complicated by my wife taking Lexapro for depression. That's a sex killer. I took that for awhile after my surgery and the first pill made my genitals numb. I took it for a couple months and told my doc I had to come off it. I couldn't lose my ability to wank too! Anyway Think...just use your imagination and anything that will help stimulate you. You'll find the technique that works best for you.


Age 62 married 41 years...2 kids and 2 grandkids. Had robotic RP in Apr 2008. Negative PSA since then. Suffer ED initially from Type II diabetes and then the RP. Trimix shots work but pills don't at all.
Age 63 married 41 years...2 kids and 2 grandkids. Had robotic RP in Apr 2008. Negative PSA since then. Suffered ED initially from Type II diabetes and then the RP. Had AMS700 LGX implant on 7 Nov 11.

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Re: Masturbating/Getting Off With a Flaccid Dick

Postby padreest » Sat May 28, 2011 4:09 pm

Age 75, diabetic with major nerve damage in lower body, no sex 3 yrs, several major spinal surgeries through gut and back, heart attacks and ultimatelt by-pass (4). Been diabetic at least 35 yrs, married 55 yrs. It sometimes takes me weeks to J/O to orgasm and a little ejacuate but still pleasureable somewhat. Cardiologist, at my suggestion, test for Lo-T (180) Been on 3 mo and am getting improved sensation in penis but I need stimulation to get off in a reasonable time and a feel good orgasm. Wife is out of picture until I have something to offer. I hate to admit but I use internet for help. I got two lavitra from cardiologist to try. I don't enjoy not being able to vent frustration and won't give up until the liid is dropped. I can live with Jing/O but miss imtimacy of partner. Have tought of a buddy but my convictions suppress that at least for now. I probably only get a 1/2 hard with internet but at least if I edge the sensation is adequate and sufficient pre-cum. That's my story for now. Thanks guys for being here.

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Re: Masturbating/Getting Off With a Flaccid Dick

Postby padraig1001 » Sat May 28, 2011 8:21 pm

Life can be a bitch sometimes, padreest. I certainly have empathy as I face many of the same issues as you. It's sad that our lives have to 'almost lonely' at this point. You have raised some important issues that many will be facing down the road. I look forward to hearing more from you and the route you take.


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Re: Masturbating/Getting Off With a Flaccid Dick

Postby thinktank » Fri Jul 15, 2011 3:50 pm


Hats off to you for wanting to stay sexual. I am so sorry about your feeling your have nothing to offer your wife. While I dont have to live in your marriage and wish you the best, I know that one of these days, I am likely to be in your situation where I cant get it up for intercourse. I have already told my wife about trimix and have told her about implants.

It is strange for us as men, but the older we get, the more we desire intimacy with our wives. I have a freind on This is a Christian website where men and women discuss intimacy in marriage in appropriate forums.

He is getting older and he and his wife have agreed to 20 sexual touches a day to foster sexual intimacy between them. I have discussed this with my wife and on a good day, I may get 5 sexual touches. My point is that intimacy does not necessarily take a hard penis to achieve in a marriage. I know..............we men are attune to hard dicks and erections are what we are all about.

But, when erections fail, there is still sexual touch, kisses, cuddling, hugs, and whatever floats your boat short of hard penis in vagina sex as we men knew so well in our younger days.

Maybe reading a good book together written for older couples would be a good start for you. The dialogue and communication between you and your wife have got to begin somewhere.

Again, I wish you well and I hope to see a future post from you where you Testosterone supplements and sexual touch are leading you to intimacy with your sweetie. How an aging man can live without intimacy is an enigma to me.

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Re: Masturbating/Getting Off With a Flaccid Dick

Postby evanstonjohn » Tue Sep 27, 2011 12:18 am

Gents, After radioactive seeding, (and my partner of 20 years had throyid cancer) we did not have relations for almost a year. My doctor told me that I need to masturbate daily to bring blood flow to the area. At first it was not easy but I made the most of it (ED pills and a cock ring) and was successful in having wonderful orgams. We have resumed relations and my penis it at 80% performance. Penetration is not mandatory - use your hand, tongue and what ever the you have in your arsenal. While it not waht we had 20 years ago, some afternoons it's mind blowing sex. evanstonjohn

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Re: Masturbating/Getting Off With a Flaccid Dick

Postby slob1934 » Mon Dec 05, 2011 11:38 am

I have a similar situation as do some other members.
My wife has no inerest in sex. I am 77 she is 75, married 57 years.
My only release is masturbation. I am implanted,so no problem getting it up. I do have a floppy head but am still able to orgasam.

Just wondering if anyone has any recommendations on masturbators , anal toys ,etc.( don't have a prostate) or anything else that would help improve the technique other than my hand?

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Re: Masturbating/Getting Off With a Flaccid Dick

Postby Techman52 » Mon Dec 05, 2011 12:20 pm

I'm at 2 weeks post- implant and have started to wonder the same thing. I would like to know if any other implantees have any experience with the FLESHLIGHT and how well does it work to reach climax ( with or without a prostate )? Does it make a good rehabilitation device?

Elevated PSA July 2009, Biopsy (postive) August 2009
Robotic surgery Sept 2009, Gleason 8-6, ED
VED, Cialis, Bi-mix unsuccessful
LGX Implant 11/22/11
Activation January 4, 2012

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Re: Masturbating/Getting Off With a Flaccid Dick

Postby Bobskud » Mon Feb 06, 2012 6:44 pm

I am very interested in learning advanced masturbaton techniques that will bring back my organ to the point of confident sex with my ssweetheart. Bring on the knowledge, guys- Bob.

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