Anal stimulation post prostatectomy

There is more to sex than an erect penis. How do you maintain your sexuality both for yourself and for your partner? What techniques do you use to give both of you a great, satisfying sex life? How do you explore your own body and sexuality now that the rules have changed?

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notsostiff
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Anal stimulation post prostatectomy

Postby notsostiff » Sat May 14, 2011 6:03 pm

I have found that an urge to use the toilet or the process of going to tyhe toilet can give me a full but still partial erection. This has led me to think that the nerves are being stimulated inside through the anal wall. Does anyone have any experience of anal stimulation? I am not gay but I am intersted to know if anal toys such as the aneros will help to achieve an erection.
Last edited by notsostiff on Sun Feb 05, 2012 7:16 am, edited 2 times in total.
Had a robotic prostatectomy on 16 Dec 2010, with partial bi-lateral nerve sparing.

hryqwert
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Re: Anal stimulation post prostatectomy

Postby hryqwert » Sat May 14, 2011 8:29 pm

Do a search for the Aneros and read the discussions of its use. Many guys here really enjoy it and how it stimulates.

JJ ;)
JJ ;)

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notsostiff
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Re: Anal stimulation post prostatectomy

Postby notsostiff » Sun May 15, 2011 9:12 am

hryqwert wrote:Do a search for the Aneros and read the discussions of its use. Many guys here really enjoy it and how it stimulates.

JJ ;)

I have read about the Aneros before but understood it to be a prostate stimulator. Does it still help for guys like me who don't have a prostate anymore?
Had a robotic prostatectomy on 16 Dec 2010, with partial bi-lateral nerve sparing.

regain-is-the-aim
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Re: Anal stimulation post prostatectomy

Postby regain-is-the-aim » Sun May 15, 2011 1:06 pm

Notso:

Thanks, this is a great post and question. Like you, I sometimes had the same sensations when I used the toilet. I asked my surgeon about them and he said that many guys experienced a small to significant increase in penile size while sometimes using the toilet and no one knew why. Well, that got me to thinking and with a bit or research I figured there might be gold between those 2 hills. . . . I am going to do 2 posts as I want to check something before I comment. I do have an Aneros and I really, really, really like it- more later.

Your post under sexuality is perfectly placed and I would like to further comment on your statement that you “are not gay”. All guys have a ton (not a scientific measure) of nerve, nerve endings and potential pleasure points in their anal area. Whether we are straight, gay or bi; basically our butts are built the same. If a guy becomes aware and enjoys such pleasures or even reaches the Big O, it does not change his sexual orientation according to the sexual experts. If you are gay that is great. If you are straight that is great. It you are bi that is great. Here, we have met the enemy and it is ED! Our reticence to explore, to remain defensive and to even enjoy our own sexuality comes largely from the burdens of bias and guilt of a society that has never mastered an appreciation of individual sexuality or pleasure. But times are a changing.

On our Homepage is a link to OG Guy’s website. His work with male sexuality is impressive and he has opened my mind and deepened my thinking about my own sexuality and pleasure. He has an e-book on masturbation techniques that I highly recommend. It is not expensive. It’s not the techniques but the opening pages and discussion on male sexuality that deeply impress me. Guys, it is a good read!

Notso; I truly hope I’ve not overstepped my manners. You are new to the clan and your openness and willingness to ask questions is impressive. We are all searching for a better tomorrow sexually. I know my journey is far from over and I don’t know where I will be when it ends. My understanding of sexuality and my own journey is unfolding and this site has been big contributor to my growth. I just felt the urge to take a moment to opine and perhaps contribute to a better understanding that orientation and sexual pleasure do not equate to separate columns of theirs and ours. Wherever we may be in the continuum.

Just a thought. On to the Aneros!!

Dick
"Regain-is-the-Aim"
Dick
PCa-surgery 10/06

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notsostiff
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Re: Anal stimulation post prostatectomy

Postby notsostiff » Sun May 15, 2011 2:55 pm

regain-is-the-aim wrote:Notso:

Thanks, this is a great post and question. Like you, I sometimes had the same sensations when I used the toilet. I asked my surgeon about them and he said that many guys experienced a small to significant increase in penile size while sometimes using the toilet and no one knew why. Well, that got me to thinking and with a bit or research I figured there might be gold between those 2 hills. . . . I am going to do 2 posts as I want to check something before I comment. I do have an Aneros and I really, really, really like it- more later.

Your post under sexuality is perfectly placed and I would like to further comment on your statement that you “are not gay”. All guys have a ton (not a scientific measure) of nerve, nerve endings and potential pleasure points in their anal area. Whether we are straight, gay or bi; basically our butts are built the same. If a guy becomes aware and enjoys such pleasures or even reaches the Big O, it does not change his sexual orientation according to the sexual experts. If you are gay that is great. If you are straight that is great. It you are bi that is great. Here, we have met the enemy and it is ED! Our reticence to explore, to remain defensive and to even enjoy our own sexuality comes largely from the burdens of bias and guilt of a society that has never mastered an appreciation of individual sexuality or pleasure. But times are a changing.

On our Homepage is a link to OG Guy’s website. His work with male sexuality is impressive and he has opened my mind and deepened my thinking about my own sexuality and pleasure. He has an e-book on masturbation techniques that I highly recommend. It is not expensive. It’s not the techniques but the opening pages and discussion on male sexuality that deeply impress me. Guys, it is a good read!

Notso; I truly hope I’ve not overstepped my manners. You are new to the clan and your openness and willingness to ask questions is impressive. We are all searching for a better tomorrow sexually. I know my journey is far from over and I don’t know where I will be when it ends. My understanding of sexuality and my own journey is unfolding and this site has been big contributor to my growth. I just felt the urge to take a moment to opine and perhaps contribute to a better understanding that orientation and sexual pleasure do not equate to separate columns of theirs and ours. Wherever we may be in the continuum.

Just a thought. On to the Aneros!!

Dick

Regain:
Thanks for the 'frank' reply and I wish to say that you haven't overstepped your manners at all. This is a 'frank talk' forum and so I was expecting and indeed hoping for a frank answer. I am 5 months post prostatectomy and still waiting for an erection that I can use for penetration. I have a loving wife and we have a good sex life still even though the last 5 months have been rather different. I am curious about trying the aneros to see if it would help but would like to hear from someone who has had a radical prostatectomy who has has tried one first. My thought is that it is the nerves around the prostate that have the sensation and they are still there. So maybe the loss of the prostate is not too big a deal. I am not fussed about only having dry orgasms and neither is my wife. We like not having the mess. I can orgasm quite readily when my wife gives me oral but I would like to have that full feeling again and certainly be able to penetrate my wife. I take 20mg cialis twice a week but that doesn't seem to help much.
Had a robotic prostatectomy on 16 Dec 2010, with partial bi-lateral nerve sparing.

barfinkl1
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Re: Anal stimulation post prostatectomy

Postby barfinkl1 » Sun May 15, 2011 5:30 pm

I had an RP in Apr 08 but just got the aneros about 10 days or so ago, so I'm no expert in it's use, but I'm working hard at it. I can't have an erection without help, which for me is injections. Pills don't work and pumping works, but don't like it. Leaves it like a cold salami. But the aneros is causing a little stir I think. Each time seems a bit more sensual. The other day, I masturbated after using it for awhile and had a pretty powerful orgasm...kinda trembled all over, so that felt really good. I'm intent on having the super O and I guess I'll know when I have it. I don't know about you, but since the surgery, my orgasms have been quite a bit more powerful. I find that odd, but it's so. I also can't really orgasm that way unless I'm standing up. At this stage of my life, I say if it feels good, do it. I think anyone who gets an aneros will enjoy it. Probably best to start with the basic one if you aren't experienced with anal play. It doesn't hurt to insert it but one of those big boys might. Once you get to a certain point, it more or less sucks it right in. Good luck.

Steve
Age 63 married 41 years...2 kids and 2 grandkids. Had robotic RP in Apr 2008. Negative PSA since then. Suffered ED initially from Type II diabetes and then the RP. Had AMS700 LGX implant on 7 Nov 11.

regain-is-the-aim
Posts: 260
Joined: Sat Apr 03, 2010 11:09 am
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Re: Anal stimulation post prostatectomy

Postby regain-is-the-aim » Sun May 15, 2011 7:46 pm

Notso:

Aneros. A very good question of can it help with penile rehab or erection quality. As I said in my prior post your thinking was much the same as mine and I wondered if those nerves that had surrounded the prostate could be “stimulated/rekindled/reconnected to provide a better and fuller erection. My robotic surgery “spared” my nerves on both sides which gave me great hope I would have no issue; as with almost every surgery guy I was disappointed to learn the nerve damage was severe.

So I began to closely look at the different styles of the Aneros. I decided buying one was a “risk” worth taking since the possibility of enhancing my other efforts was worth the $$. Now, as you look over the styles they are different and of different sizes. I settled on a style with 2 posts. My thinking was the extra post would provide extra nerve stimulation which I would need. I also choose the larger one thinking that without a prostate I would need to make up the “bulk” to find any nerves left after surgery. I selected the “Progasm”. When you read, it is advised for the advanced or expert and I was neither. This was the first foray into this inexperienced unknown arena for me. Yes, it is large and does take a bit of getting use to but was comfortable; I never found it hurting or unmanageable. I am 6’ and about 210 lbs so within normal body size.

This sexual experience is very different and takes time to master. Like you, I am married with a supportive wife but this seems to me to be an alone thing. I watched a number of vids on the Aneros and the outcomes; with all the movement and etc, seemed to be “me time”. It took me about 4 – 5 tries before I made it over the edge. BOY was it worth the wait. If you get an Aneros I would be glad to talk specifically as this is a rather interesting topic.

Generally speaking: you need quiet, no distractions, time, good lube (and lube the entire Aneros shaft especially the bottom and the 2 posts), it is almost as though you were going into a meditation mind-set. It controls, not you. When it is ready with your body the ride begins; slow and somewhat quiet and then builds to wave after wave of amazing pleasure. I think some guys make the mistake of a routine or “forcing” the Big O as the site calls it. It happens when it happens and you will know- believe me. Calm and patience, patience and patience is the key to success.

Now, to your question will it get you hard- easier, better or sooner? I, honestly have no idea. I think it helps but can’t prove that. Also, it is such a different and amazing experience that I no longer care as it is a part of my pleasure with myself. Once the ride is over, there is a calm euphoria that lasts for 2-3 hours. The world is a good place. What seems “strange” is that my penis is not involved at all. He seems to feel none of this and does not participate in any way. But, I find, I think, erections are better after. There is a lot more to this but I think this is enough for now.

I would recommend you purchase one and I would recommend you seriously consider the “Progasm” as I fully believe the 2 posts help. Right now the Foundation is conducting a fund drive to enhance the services provided, in part, thu FrankTalk and when sufficient $$ are raised FrankTalk will open a Marketplace where we will be able to purchase in private and with enhanced security such devices, toys and such. I look forward to that day.

I am now to the point I would like another style, which is new and called the “Tempo”. It is quite different in design and I think it could also assist with Penile rehab and sounds like it could really be fun- I wasn’t ready to spend the $$ on that one. Have fun and keep us posted as to what you decide.

Cheers,

Dick
"Regain-is-the-Aim"
Dick
PCa-surgery 10/06

barfinkl1
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Re: Anal stimulation post prostatectomy

Postby barfinkl1 » Mon May 16, 2011 11:02 am

Dick ~ Thanks for sending me over to this text...a very good message on the aneros. I will have to save my nickles to buy the progasm. I just wanna have the best experience I can with these toys. I'm envious of you and anyone else who's "been over the top". I also find it amazing that this process doesn't have any affect on the penis...but it was only recently that I learned there were 3 types of orgasms. Got a lot to learn it seems. Is it recommended that you lie on your side with your knees drawn up while using the aneros in order to achieve O? I have started on my side to do the insertion but then move to my back...maybe that's where I'm going wrong. I figure my nerves have been turned off for so long, it's gonna take awhile for them to reawaken.

Also wanted to comment on the earlier post about bowel movement affects. Before my prostate was removed, I would often get a "boost" from using the toilet. It was the oddest thing to me at the time. Perhaps it was because my prostate was enlarged? Just wanted to comment because I, too, experienced something from it. Now that I have no prostate, I don't get that any longer.

Regards,
Steve
Age 63 married 41 years...2 kids and 2 grandkids. Had robotic RP in Apr 2008. Negative PSA since then. Suffered ED initially from Type II diabetes and then the RP. Had AMS700 LGX implant on 7 Nov 11.

regain-is-the-aim
Posts: 260
Joined: Sat Apr 03, 2010 11:09 am
Location: Indianapolis

Re: Anal stimulation post prostatectomy

Postby regain-is-the-aim » Mon May 16, 2011 2:03 pm

Steve:

The Aneros is a great addition to our lives. You will get there. I do not lay on my side but mostly on my back with my legs in different positions as to comfort. I don't think the side is a key. I also insert, for what it matters, while standing in my bathroom. Then I wash my hands and what ever before moving to lay down. Standing and moving around a bit can also be an interesting sensation in itself; I also think it helps seat the Aneros better and begin the process of working it's magic. Also, they say that the Aneros should not be used every day but to rest all those nerves (when we find them) for at least a day in between sessions.

Time and Patience seem to be a key ingredient to success. I'm convinced there is no formula. Perhaps a good single malt will assist you; I've been known to imbibe. . . It's when you body connects thru nerves with the unit and they become one in a frenzy of pleasure and O.

Notso, see what you've started!! Good Man!! This is great and helps all of us get better.

Dick
"Regain-is-the-Aim"
Dick
PCa-surgery 10/06

barfinkl1
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Re: Anal stimulation post prostatectomy

Postby barfinkl1 » Mon May 16, 2011 2:33 pm

OK then. Thanks for your informative reply. I have usually inserted while lying down but will stand next time and let it seat before laying down. Guess I could try my nightly glass of wine beforehand instead of waiting. I always wait until after just because I didn't want to "dull" the nerves. Plus, I think I don't give it enough time. A half hour must not be enough...so I'll have to wait until the wife's out to give it more time. I shower after my evening workout and do the aneros before the shower, so if I'm in there for an hour and a half, she'd think I was dead. I'm not a quitter, so I'll keep after it. Your remarks have given me hope.

Regards,
Steve
Age 63 married 41 years...2 kids and 2 grandkids. Had robotic RP in Apr 2008. Negative PSA since then. Suffered ED initially from Type II diabetes and then the RP. Had AMS700 LGX implant on 7 Nov 11.


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