Guys in long term relationships j Does your wife come regularly?

There is more to sex than an erect penis. How do you maintain your sexuality both for yourself and for your partner? What techniques do you use to give both of you a great, satisfying sex life? How do you explore your own body and sexuality now that the rules have changed?
CanGetItUpButNoMore
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Guys in long term relationships j Does your wife come regularly?

Postby CanGetItUpButNoMore » Sat Sep 03, 2022 10:11 am

My wife seems to enjoy sex but only if less than once per week. She professes that orgasms are not important and never complains if a session ends without her having come.

Our routine is very established. We manually stimulate each other but she doesn't like for me to penetrate her digitally so it's just on the outside of her labia. After about five minutes, she's ready for PIV missionary. To control my own ejaculation, I enter her slowly and partially at first. Simultaneously, I begin manually rubbing her clit. After about five minutes, she will come. She concludes with an orgasm, by my rough estimate, 70% of the time. So, not too bad. My own orgasm is usually good but not the subject of this post. She is one-and-done; never two orgasms in 50 years.

Although I would love to give her oral, she professes not to like it. I did make her come one time, fairly recently, by oral and I hoped that would lead to more but she seems to really be opposed. FWIW, surprisingly, she is OK giving me oral all the way to completion. Although I'm no psychologist, her hang-up seems to be anything that puts focus on her own orgasm.

All that is background to ask, How typical is our experience? Can you give your wife an orgasm via straight PIV sex without clitoral stimulation?
68yo. Diabetes & hypertension drugs but none that are infamous for ED causation. Increasing ED compounded by frequent anorgasmia. Viagra for 2 years. Cabergoline experimentation inconclusive. New to pumping (Encore). Supportive (to a limit) wife.

Old Guy
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Re: Guys in long term relationships j Does your wife come regularly?

Postby Old Guy » Sat Sep 03, 2022 11:51 am

I've heard that too, orgasms aren't important. But when I can get the wife to join in it usually leads to a couple orgasms for her. She seems to enjoy it once I get her going, although that takes some work. I used to get her to orgasm missionary style but her tummy and my shorter implanted member limits that now. Doggy works best for us.
Nov. 8, 2019
4+ years, Coloplast Titan OTR
Married 36 years to my beautiful young bride
Always here to answer questions if you PM me

CanGetItUpButNoMore
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Joined: Wed Oct 27, 2021 8:27 pm

Re: Guys in long term relationships j Does your wife come regularly?

Postby CanGetItUpButNoMore » Sat Sep 03, 2022 1:05 pm

Old Guy wrote:Doggy works best for us.

It's been years since we tried doggy. It didn't feel that great to me, as I recall. But things are much different now so I think I'll give it a try. Do you add clit stimulation or are you successful with just PIV?
68yo. Diabetes & hypertension drugs but none that are infamous for ED causation. Increasing ED compounded by frequent anorgasmia. Viagra for 2 years. Cabergoline experimentation inconclusive. New to pumping (Encore). Supportive (to a limit) wife.

Old Guy
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Re: Guys in long term relationships j Does your wife come regularly?

Postby Old Guy » Sat Sep 03, 2022 1:34 pm

CanGetItUpButNoMore wrote:
Old Guy wrote:Doggy works best for us.

Do you add clit stimulation or are you successful with just PIV?


She will use her clit sucker while I pump away. If it's been a while, she can have an orgasm that lasts 30+ seconds that way.
Nov. 8, 2019
4+ years, Coloplast Titan OTR
Married 36 years to my beautiful young bride
Always here to answer questions if you PM me

CanGetItUpButNoMore
Posts: 60
Joined: Wed Oct 27, 2021 8:27 pm

Re: Guys in long term relationships j Does your wife come regularly?

Postby CanGetItUpButNoMore » Sat Sep 03, 2022 3:57 pm

Old Guy wrote:She will use her clit sucker while I pump away. If it's been a while, she can have an orgasm that lasts 30+ seconds that way.

I would greatly enjoy something like that to be an option for us but the focus on her orgasm makes it a no-go. Does your wife enjoy receiving oral?
68yo. Diabetes & hypertension drugs but none that are infamous for ED causation. Increasing ED compounded by frequent anorgasmia. Viagra for 2 years. Cabergoline experimentation inconclusive. New to pumping (Encore). Supportive (to a limit) wife.

Old Guy
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Joined: Tue Mar 31, 2020 4:31 pm
Location: Ohio

Re: Guys in long term relationships j Does your wife come regularly?

Postby Old Guy » Sun Sep 04, 2022 9:01 am

CanGetItUpButNoMore wrote:
Old Guy wrote:She will use her clit sucker while I pump away. If it's been a while, she can have an orgasm that lasts 30+ seconds that way.

I would greatly enjoy something like that to be an option for us but the focus on her orgasm makes it a no-go. Does your wife enjoy receiving oral?


Yes, she likes oral. I like to tongue her while she uses her buzzer. Maybe 50% of the time she'll orgasm that way.
Must be tough since your wife doesn't care if she orgasms or not. Once my wife gets close to the point of orgasm doing it doggy, she'll start bucking back into me. When her orgasm starts is the only time she moans or talks.
Nov. 8, 2019
4+ years, Coloplast Titan OTR
Married 36 years to my beautiful young bride
Always here to answer questions if you PM me

sogwap
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Joined: Wed Jul 20, 2011 8:10 am
Location: Ontario, Canada

Re: Guys in long term relationships j Does your wife come regularly?

Postby sogwap » Sun Sep 04, 2022 11:02 am

CanGetItUpButNoMore wrote:Can you give your wife an orgasm via straight PIV sex without clitoral stimulation?

In my limited experience every woman is different.

My first wife was closeted lesbian. She only did one position with her always on her back and me servicing her.
Back when she allowed sex I would give her a 20-30 minute full body massage. Followed by 15 minutes of oral sex. She would then expect I get hard, and allow 1-2 minutes of PIV sex, Always with a condom. She never looked at me, never touched me. On the rare occasion when she allowed sex, I serviced her. Interestingly as I remember on those rare occasions I often gave her multiples, with oral sex. The last 15 years of our relationship was sexless marriage. :cry:

After 25 years of that horrible sex, I met my "better" wife, who actually wanted sex with me. :twisted:

With my better wife if we go to have sex and she doesnt come, she gets quite angry and upset and doesn't talk to me for several days.
I have come to realize that when she doesnt have an orgasm its because she does not pursue sex. But blames me for not doing it for her. As a result I have learned she has to be the one that initiate sex.
My better wife is one and done gal. On rare occasion after what appears she's had an orgasm I seen her get the vibrator and want me to digitally stimulate her to what seems like a second orgasm.
For most of our marriage I have struggled with ED & PE. As a result our sex has been limited for much of our marriage.
Several months ago I started using injections, and so far it seems the tables have turned. I have a full erection from the start to well past our orgasms.
Age: 68. Struggled with ED/PE for years.
Used Viagra for 10+ years with mixed success.
In May 2022 started using Trimix with very good results.
Feb 2023 developed PD

68CatFan
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Re: Guys in long term relationships j Does your wife come regularly?

Postby 68CatFan » Sun Sep 04, 2022 11:53 am

My wife and I have been together for 32 years. She's always had multiple orgasms while having sex in any position. She even has several orgasms while having anal sex. One day many years ago I discovered that I could get her to come just by telling her to. No thrusting, clit stimulation or anything. All I had to do was just enter her vaginally or anally, press my body against her and tell her to come while kissing her passionately. Kind of neat to have so much control over someone like that. Usually, she has 5-6 orgasms before wearing out. When's she's drunk she wears me out.
Fifty-one years old. ED started at age forty. I took Cialis for eight years and used Trimix for almost three. Implanted 12/6/22 by Dr. Jonathan Clavell. AMS 700CX 21cm.

azmike
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Joined: Thu May 05, 2022 12:27 pm

Re: Guys in long term relationships j Does your wife come regularly?

Postby azmike » Sun Sep 04, 2022 2:41 pm

You are a very lucky man!

68CatFan wrote:My wife and I have been together for 32 years. She's always had multiple orgasms while having sex in any position. She even has several orgasms while having anal sex. One day many years ago I discovered that I could get her to come just by telling her to. No thrusting, clit stimulation or anything. All I had to do was just enter her vaginally or anally, press my body against her and tell her to come while kissing her passionately. Kind of neat to have so much control over someone like that. Usually, she has 5-6 orgasms before wearing out. When's she's drunk she wears me out.

CanGetItUpButNoMore
Posts: 60
Joined: Wed Oct 27, 2021 8:27 pm

Re: Guys in long term relationships j Does your wife come regularly?

Postby CanGetItUpButNoMore » Sun Sep 04, 2022 3:55 pm

Old Guy wrote:Must be tough since your wife doesn't care if she orgasms or not. Once my wife gets close to the point of orgasm doing it doggy, she'll start bucking back into me.

Yes, it's confusing. She professes, and acts, that orgasms are unimportant but if I get her close, she really goes for it. But if it doesn't happen, then it's no big deal... "next time". I'm 100% confident that she never gives herself an orgasm.
68yo. Diabetes & hypertension drugs but none that are infamous for ED causation. Increasing ED compounded by frequent anorgasmia. Viagra for 2 years. Cabergoline experimentation inconclusive. New to pumping (Encore). Supportive (to a limit) wife.


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