ED effects on sexual practices and orientation

There is more to sex than an erect penis. How do you maintain your sexuality both for yourself and for your partner? What techniques do you use to give both of you a great, satisfying sex life? How do you explore your own body and sexuality now that the rules have changed?
longisland
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Location: Long Island, NY

ED effects on sexual practices and orientation

Postby longisland » Mon Oct 18, 2021 2:48 pm

"Has anyone ever considered a change in their sexual practices, behaviors or even orientation (for example hetero- to bi-)? because of or to compensate for their E.D.?

Caveat: I recognize that sexual orientation for most is not a "choice" and ask that anyone offended by that suggestion give me the leeway to make freely make my own choices based on my needs.

I have been feeling sexually useless at times and wonder whether I could be
of better service to the opposite sex.
64...married. Cialis very helpful. Open to suggestions.

vajim1
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Joined: Tue Jan 16, 2018 2:19 pm

Re: ED effects on sexual practices and orientation

Postby vajim1 » Tue Oct 19, 2021 8:04 am

Does the thought of doing something sexual with another guy improve your erections?
You are welcome to Pm me.
76 year old fart. Prostate removed Oct. 9, 2017,Psa 30 days after .15 next Psa .2. 37 Radiation treatments for recurrent cancer, 1 year out Psa .033 ZERO ERECTIONS, implanted Sept 5 2019 Dr. Lentz Duke Raleigh N.C. Titan 22cm.

Asquared65
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Location: Omaha, NE

Re: ED effects on sexual practices and orientation

Postby Asquared65 » Tue Oct 19, 2021 9:10 am

I wouldn’t necessarily say I have thought about sexual orientation due to my ED. Because of my ED I found FT and found several interesting threads that other guys have posted pictures of their cocks. With reading the threads I found out I like looking at other guys cocks and posting pics of mine and knowing other guys are looking at my cock.
56 nerve sparing radical cystectomy after diagnosis of Bladder cancer survivor, 2 yr plus. Pills and trimix did not work, VED Plus cialis, working for now. Interested in others experiences in getting implants.

Lost Sheep
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Joined: Mon Jul 04, 2016 11:16 pm

Re: ED effects on sexual practices and orientation

Postby Lost Sheep » Tue Oct 19, 2021 3:17 pm

Asquared65 wrote:I wouldn’t necessarily say I have thought about sexual orientation due to my ED. Because of my ED I found FT and found several interesting threads that other guys have posted pictures of their cocks. With reading the threads I found out I like looking at other guys cocks and posting pics of mine and knowing other guys are looking at my cock.

As a youth (with raging erections) I had little interest or knowledge about how other boys' (men's) erections were or worked. As E.D. became apparant (in my 30's and onward) I started to wonder about the differences between me and other men. Perhaps inspired by my lovers' experiences/reactions/comments, but those women were almost universally polite about comparing my performance with other men, so I did not get a lot of feedback. Nor did I have information from other men to go on.

So the Asquared65's response resonates with me.

I am less fascinated with pictures of other men's penises than with how they function, particularly in coitus. Porn films are useless since they are seldom realistic (in my opinion - they are intended to be at the extreme of normal at least and more theatrical than most experiences in real life, much like the fight scenes in martial-arts and action movies-more artful and perfect that usually happens).

I have no desire to compete with other men's penile performance, but wonder where I fall in the performance spectrum. Or, maybe this is one of those things I would be better off not knowing.

In any event, getting back to something more akin to the OP's question, I have always wondered what my penis feels like to my lover(s). Fantaszing being the (female) recipient of my penis' attentions, I think, has made me more sensitive to my lovers' needs. So, yes, my practices changed a bit from my callow youth where my full desire was just to "get off". Now, partly by emotional maturity and a lot by the handicaps of E.D. I learned (by needfulness) to change my attention practices so as to better satisfy my lover(s).

If that change in (my) attention/perspective to a more bottom, recipient or even feminine point of view is widespread among men with E.D., maybe there is something to the O.P.'s question for many more of us than we realize.
Lost Sheep
AMS LGX 18+3 Nov 6, 2017
Prostate Cancer 2023
READ OLD THREADS-ask better questions -better understand answers
Be part of your medical team
Document pre-op size-photos and written records
Pre-op VED therapy helps. Post-op is another matter

AnotherOldMan
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Joined: Tue Dec 27, 2016 9:52 am

Re: ED effects on sexual practices and orientation

Postby AnotherOldMan » Wed Oct 20, 2021 7:12 am

change in their sexual practices,because of or to compensate for their E.D.?


Both my wife and I have altered our sexual sessions over the years to accommodate our aging bodies. Not orientation as I think you mean, but certainly frequency, duration, positions, preparation, new toys, more lube, etc.
Married 50+ years. Use VED for sex and do
daily exercises with both water and vacuum pumps.

Al1962
Posts: 131
Joined: Wed Nov 14, 2018 3:56 pm
Location: Michigan

Re: ED effects on sexual practices and orientation

Postby Al1962 » Wed Dec 01, 2021 2:18 pm

I have always had interest in looking at both.
I have had a couple of girl friends, a stranger female ONS that lasted three days and a male FWB. I want a monogamous relationship with a woman. I would do another ONS if conditions were right. I don't look for men but enjoy my FWB. I never touched a guy until I was 47 and my wife was there also. That was before ED and the guy is my male FWB still. ED never affected my sexual practices and orientation. It has made me feel sexually useless and afraid of a relationship with a women. I do not have this fear with my male FWB. I sure would enjoy a woman but don't want to disappoint.
Short answer: No.
Born 1962. Married 21 yrs. Single since 2018. Diabetic ED has taken the fun. Began daily Cialis 2.5mg and hesitant to find/disappoint a new partner. Song, Beatles,"Let It Be".

Lost Sheep
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Joined: Mon Jul 04, 2016 11:16 pm

Re: ED effects on sexual practices and orientation

Postby Lost Sheep » Wed Dec 01, 2021 3:46 pm

Al1962 wrote:I have always had interest in looking at both.
I have had a couple of girl friends, a stranger female ONS that lasted three days and a male FWB. I want a monogamous relationship with a woman. I would do another ONS if conditions were right. I don't look for men but enjoy my FWB. I never touched a guy until I was 47 and my wife was there also. That was before ED and the guy is my male FWB still. ED never affected my sexual practices and orientation. It has made me feel sexually useless and afraid of a relationship with a women. I do not have this fear with my male FWB. I sure would enjoy a woman but don't want to disappoint.
Short answer: No.

If you feel this question is intrusive, do not feel compelled to answer.

I wonder about your relationship with your male FWB. If you act as the "top" sometimes, how do you manage that? Are you exclusively a "bottom" or receive fellatio?

As far as being sexually useless, I was pretty much impotent late in the progression of my E.D. but managed to be sexually useful by the use of hands, tongue and toys. Are those practices viable options for you? Women are incredibly supportive if they feel desired, trusted respected and safe. Women like to please men who take care to please them, in and out of sex. So don't be afraid of disappointing a woman. Sex is a cooperative activity. Make a woman your partner in that activity and she will not be disappointed.
Lost Sheep
AMS LGX 18+3 Nov 6, 2017
Prostate Cancer 2023
READ OLD THREADS-ask better questions -better understand answers
Be part of your medical team
Document pre-op size-photos and written records
Pre-op VED therapy helps. Post-op is another matter

Al1962
Posts: 131
Joined: Wed Nov 14, 2018 3:56 pm
Location: Michigan

Re: ED effects on sexual practices and orientation

Postby Al1962 » Thu Dec 02, 2021 10:55 am

Lost Sheep.
Male FWB is mostly fellatio. I have bottomed a few times in the past before ED issues with both of us. Not so much interest in topping. I'm more interested in penetrating female parts than male or female hind ends parts.
I think there are a lot of supportive women out there and I am always reminded to think positive.
Again, I don't feel ED had any effect on sexual orientation.
Born 1962. Married 21 yrs. Single since 2018. Diabetic ED has taken the fun. Began daily Cialis 2.5mg and hesitant to find/disappoint a new partner. Song, Beatles,"Let It Be".

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Jagtstein
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Re: ED effects on sexual practices and orientation

Postby Jagtstein » Sun Apr 10, 2022 8:12 am

Asquared65 wrote:I wouldn’t necessarily say I have thought about sexual orientation due to my ED. Because of my ED I found FT and found several interesting threads that other guys have posted pictures of their cocks. With reading the threads I found out I like looking at other guys cocks and posting pics of mine and knowing other guys are looking at my cock.

I am a heterosexual solo masturbator and like to look at penises. I prefer uncircumcised penises with frenulectomy, Meatotomy and shaved. Also, sounding and stretching urethra are very interesting to me. Homosexual practices and physical contact do not interest me :D
Attachments
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Masturbation is better than sex. :)

Anonymous FT Member
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Re: ED effects on sexual practices and orientation

Postby Anonymous FT Member » Mon Jul 04, 2022 11:19 pm

The way I masturbate has slightly shifted over time. In my teens and probably even into my early 20s masturbation didn't take much thought and erections were easier/faster. I would often fall asleep during the drive home from school, and during that resting period I would get an erection.

On into my middle twenties and thirties I began to notice changes in sensitivity of my genitals and difficulty reaching orgasm. Sometimes the lower half of my shaft and also areas of my scrotum feel numb. So I feel like I require more stimulation now to get myself to orgasm. This change or shift has caused me to explore my body a little more and learn new things that get me to the point of no return. Now orgasms can feel really intense, but maybe that is just because the frequency has changed over time. At my current age of 39 and even some years before I can go a long time without masturbation. Not sure why that is, but it does feel a bit odd from what used to be. Another thing I notice is my mind wanders away to some issue or problem of the day or some task I need to do. I wonder if this is why I seem to require more stimulation because my mind is not doing its part.

My body issues and much of it centering around sexual performance has caused me to question my orientation and sexuality. All the guys usually want to know if you're top or bottom. If I can't get erect, then does that mean I'm automatically a passive bottom? In summary I think I have experienced slight shifts or changes over time. I guess one has to consider it part of the journey of being a man, and I'm still willing to learn experience new things. I want to live my life and body to full potential.


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