Lost Sheep wrote:stephen54 wrote:SteveSW wrote:Several years ago, I had similar experience to yours Andrew, but I was included to take care of the husband's desire for male on male sex. His wife was supportive and loved to watch us have sex and she witnessed her husband getting fucked for the first time. I was honored. His M2M skills really improved over the months we were seeing each other. His wife said as a result, he had become a much better lover for her. Win win. They had an amazingly loving and supportive marriage, acknowleging one another's sexual desires.
That's awesome.
Were you and hubby strictly MM with wife spectating or did you all participate also as MFM/MMF with her being an active participant?
We have a male friend who joins my wife and I occasionally and while he and I haven't properly fucked yet, the three of us have done every other imaginable thing together I think and fucking is inevitable at some point. This for me was not a performance-related arrangement, it was just hot dirty fun to pursue for all. Occasionally we break off MM briefly (with her present, watching) or i watch him/her play for a bit or he watches she and I play. It's the sweetest most mind-bending torture ever, for me, to watch them play and enjoy as a spectator and to try to resist jumping into the pile. Pure rocket fuel. Jumping back in and "reclaiming" her is pure sweet madness.
Just curious as the third, if you also played with her, and how that dynamic worked for you all. Always just my dirty curious mind getting the best of me.
Thank god.
Stephen54, (and, SteveSW, too if you are inclined to answer) your description brought up confusion in my mental picture. As I read it, you three usually engage all three at once and only occasionally will one of you break away and be a spectator. Is that right? That is easy to visualize.
I imagine being able to watch your wife orgasm with an amount of concentration you cannot muster when you are the provider must be enlightening and watching another man orgasm under your wife's minitrations must be equally interesting. Congratulations of such an open and sharing relationship. Does your wife and third partner feel just as you do? Do you discuss the philosophical and social aspects of these activities or is it just the physical engagement you do?
When all three are involved, there are a number of body arrangements one could imagine. "Y" or "Delta" or "Sandwich". The mind boggles at the combinations, possible, improbable and impossible (but interesting to try).
Of course, I am open to anyone to answer these questions. Not only the physical orientations and gymnastics, but the mental and emotional as well.
Correct, when we play, we are all playing in the same room at the same time. That doesn't mean someone might not get up to go refill wine, or hit the restroom, etc, and while one person is gone, the other two may or may not play, it's just variable but the larger point being that there are not stand alone "dates" or something like that where one of the 3 of us is not present. He and I have played and it turns her on to watch. Really really turns her on. Everyone gets something from every combination. We feel very fortunate to have found someone safe to play with. He lives far away, so we play 4-5x a year. It's probably the right amount, and it helps that he's not a constant fixture locally in our lives. The physicality really is limitless and mind-bending at times.
For us, this is a male friend who was a co-worker friend of mine and, over time, he became our collective friend. Meaning, my wife and I spent platonic time with him when he would be in town. Dinner, good discussion, etc. There came a point where I floated the idea of MFM playtime to him. This was with full knowledge and approval of my wife and with one hell of a lot of discussion and planning and no small amount of anxiety at first.
There's a very long and involved explanation behind all of the mental/emotional dynamics which led she and I to the point where we actually took this leap. They're all readily explainable...it's just a lot to dig into and explain here, but I'm happy to discuss with anyone here who might have interest or benefit in this sort of thing.
It's easy to get naked and fuck. It's not always easy to navigate the emotionality and associated feelings, but I can honestly say that, for my wife and I both, the net positives way way outweigh the anxieties or negatives. It's a shifting, fluid dynamic the 3 of us have, but it's absolutely brought my wife and me closer to one another. Deeper. Threesomes are NOT...just absolutely not for couples who think they will be a tool to improve a relationship which has problems or which has problematic gaps already; threesomes in our experience are for a couple who is already on very solid footing and very healthy and in sync...to push boundaries for fun and to expand and enhance what is already very very good. Just an observation and opinion but it's definitely played out for us.
To answer your question at a basic level about the mental/philosophical vs the physical...it's both for all of us. We care about each other and we enjoy time together minus sex and we enjoy having sex altogether and we talk about daily things, current events, books, the world at large. It's all just whatever we feel at a moment in time. No strings dangle afterward. My wife is going nowhere, she does not have deep emotionality attached to our friend, she just likes him a lot, we have great deep conversations, and those dinner/conversations heighten the mood and the flirtation and the desire, and then things frequently tip over and we play. We verbalize what we want, we verbalize boundaries, etc. There are things he's not allowed to do with her. Some things we choose to keep just for she and I. Etc. It's simultaneously complicated and curiously easy.
Maybe it's in our future. Hurray for the sexual revolution!