FrankTalk.org

needsomehope wrote:I swear everyone on here is 7 inches plus. the fact were supposed to put our size in our signature just feels like a way to boast. maybe us small guys just aren't meant to have sex. guess it doesn't matter my dicks been broken all my life, probably wouldn't have used it much anyways.

Simply and wildly untrue.

The guys here run the entire bell curve and spectrum of both physiology and psyche and, if there's one thing FT overwhelmingly isn't...is a bragger's forum. It's a safe place to be vulnerable and let one's guard safely down, though. Which, you are certainly sort of doing here with your posts.

Because of the significant baggage you are obviously carrying, maybe you are (understandably) only hearing and seeing those things on FT which most demolish your already compromised state of mind on all things related to your dick. I respectfully submit to you that not all of this is about your dick - it's just not - and that you might benefit from doing some really serious and committed work with a very capable therapist to scrape down to the things underlying here. Your dick (its size, and what it will or won't do) are just the too-obvious focal points.

I'm not lecturing, man. I'm just stating what seems patently obvious. You need to dig in with a therapist who knows what the fuck they're doing. You think all you need is an iron-bar 8" dick and your life will be a carefree party? Maybe not. My size is (was, before implantation) at the bigger end of things and I was unhappy as hell in my prior relationship. Was not even particularly motivated to get my dick fixed, though there were at that time fairly easy options to do so. I was unhappy, my relationship was sideways, work was all wrong, I was just generally ambivalent and unsatisfied for a short period in my life there, I was in the mental abyss and my 8" dick was not my savior. Not even close.

Larger point being - maybe you need to do some serious foundational work on yourself...AND...get your dick working as best as medical science, your abilities, your motivations and wallet will allow. Both. Soon.

The depressive funk you find yourself in is no good. Obviously. Please work on getting that stuff figured out and on a better path. There are ways to get both going in a more positive direction. Until you do, I'm not sure there's a dick in the world that will fully reconcile your uncertainty and lack of self-admiration and self-respect. You've gotta recapture those things. Find purpose and motivation. I'm no shrink, but that much seems obvious.

While not the perfect analogy, I'll share this, because I do think there's a similarity and something instructive:

My wife has very small breasts. On the top end of "A", or a very very small "B". She grew up in the same world as the rest of us, where TV and media and porn focus was always, overwhelmingly, about big breasted women. That's changed somewhat more recently. But not too much, and what she grew up on was the idolization of big boobs all around her. This was our cultural reference and societal standardization. And girls of course walk around with their breasts in front of them on full display to the world. You can see an A-cup vs a D-cup from 30 yards away. Judgements are made from afar. (But you can't see a guy's dick size in the same way, right?).

So fortunately my wife is extremely secure in who she is overall as a person. Very confident, very self-assured. Not much affected by external shit. And she would never alter her body or do anything with her breasts. Her ex-husband wanted her to. They could afford it, he persistently suggested and encouraged it. To the point where it became a real issue for her, and an issue which was far less about her boobs and much more about his lack of acceptance of her as-is, about his inability to see her...like, really fucking SEE...HER...in her entirety. And not just "accept" those micro-boobs...and her - but to really embrace her in her entirety. Long story short, I grew up in the same big boob culture but I was always somehow fascinated and turned on like crazy by the tiny ones. We're together almost 10 years now. I mostly obsess over those sweet tiny things constantly and I'm still not convinced she totally gets me on that, but she's super aware that my love for those little things is very real. It's only one of a thousand things, though. I found a girl with a thousand things because I wasn't focused on one.

So I'm just suggesting you are a unique person with god knows how many positive traits and abilities and things to offer another person. And I guess you may say, yeah, but it's hard to get the chance for someone to see you so holistically in a world where you need a certain kind of dick to get the ball even rolling. Like jacks or better in poker, you think you need a certain size/capability of dick to just get things out the gate I suppose.

Back to what I suggested, then. Get your mind better in order on who you are and what you offer...in your entirety. And get your dick attended to as best you can. As you know from reading FT, there are so many ways to address an uncooperative dick, and while the right doctor may be an unknown and while finances to afford an implant or whatever may be challenging, I just think you need solid ass direction at this point. A plan. Then...work the plan. Work fucking tirelessly toward your plan, understanding it will take some time. But the really good shit typically does take time and consistent investment of your time and mental capital and does not come to you via hanging your head.

The tough love I can offer (which I know you likely won't want to hear and may well tune out) is simply this: the self-flagellation and self-deprecation in your words and tone...that shit, my friend, is unhelpful. Understandable but toxic and unhelpful. This has become your story that you repeat and repeat to yourself and to others and the problem is: now that's your fucking story. There's always someone with something shinier, bigger, more expensive, faster, etc. So what? It's not competitive dick time. It's be-the-better-version-of-YOU-time. The woe-is-me stuff will never move you forward, man. In fact, it rides you backward and downward.

I'm a thin 5 inches (12.3 cm) and have had many happy girlfriends in my younger days. Chelsea Handler says women never tell their boyfriends that they're small. That was my experience; after I got married my wife said "you're kinda small;" news to me! She never said anything like this in the two years we dated! (She had a big ex.) So we had a good sex life for years with no medicine, then some years with Viagra, then Cialis, now with Trimix, but we've always included big dildoes in our sex sessions and she masturbates with them while I hold them in and urge her to fantasize about a real guy doing her. Sometimes I do her first and sometimes after her orgasm with "big guy," her choice. I always ask her "Do you want the big penis first or the little penis?" So she has an orgasm every time and is happy the rest of the day. I urge her to associate different dildoes with different "guys" and she'll occasionally have two orgasms in a session: one with "guy 1," then I'll do her while she just lays there, and then I'll hold another dildo in her while she masturbates with "guy 2." I told her the day she said I'm small, early in our marriage, not to "pretend" with me and she doesn't, just lays there and thinks of the "big guy" orgasm she had/will have or the grocery list or something but that's totally OK with me. Honesty in marriage is the best policy, and we're now going through my ED phase of life as well as can be expected.

I recall a friend who bragged, "I can do more tricks on 3 inches of dick than a monkey can on a mile rope."

Attitude goes a long way with women. And caring even further. Re-read Martin469's post. His caring for his wife's satisfaction in bed, and, I will wager, out as well) carries a lot of weight.

It only takes a few inches to get the clit that satisfies 90% of women and that same few inches if artfully applied to get to the G-spot for the others. I have found that on mature women, that girth at the entrance matters more than porn-star-donkey length. My sweetie actually prefers it near the entrance with girth and not all that deep. Work the clit and then hit the G-spot an inch or so inside. Work on girth with daily use of 5-10mg Cialis and light VED. A soft ring (released every 10-15 min) can also help. Injections also seem to help develop girth (3 1/2 yrs now). Yea, certain position take more length but we all have limitations in some capacity (me on bottom now is out even with TriMix) and you can do quite well with the basics and keep her humming. I've found that side-saddle works well for ED-impaired units even though I'm a "middler" at 6". Lose the pube fat pad for an extra 1" and hers for another 1". See this: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Rbpy_fc719c

Honesty in marriage is the best policy, and we're now going through my ED phase of life as well as can be expected.

Excellent response.

I note you say "WE are going through..". It has been my personal experience that a loving life partner and open, 2 way communication goes a long way towards a vigorous sex life in our later years.

We live in a time of readily available sex toys of a large variety. We are never too old to experiment! Some experiments result in new additions to our toy box.

Another point to consider...When people are listing their implant sizes, that doesn't map directly to penis size. I do NOT have a 23cm penis, despite my 23cm implant. I have a very average 14.5cm penis that was about 15cm before the implant. Super average girth too. I'm bi and have been with guys with significantly smaller penises than me, and enjoyed the hell out of the experiences. I also know at least one dude with a micropenis (like, 1") that has had sex with more women than I have...and no complaints from them!

I'm not going to blow smoke up your ass and say nobody cares about penis size. But I can promise you that way more men care about their size than women do...The point being that your penis size is only really a problem if you believe it to be a problem. If you can get over that, you can have a VERY amazing sex life even if you've got a small dick.

hopeful_future wrote:I'm not going to blow smoke up your ass and say nobody cares about penis size. But I can promise you that way more men care about their size than women do...The point being that your penis size is only really a problem if you believe it to be a problem. If you can get over that, you can have a VERY amazing sex life even if you've got a small dick.

Best response ever. I 100% agree. I've been with guys of all sizes, including micro. The real intimacy and beauty of the act is about so much more than the inches, even for a man whore like me.

We men give ourselves a much harder time by talking and posting all this negative stuff about how big our dicks are and much sex we get a week and on and on! As long as my wife takes care of me I am a happy man. I am as guilty as anyone about posting or reading things I shouldn’t read or post. I think we should talk more to one another as we have a tendency to shut down and not talk to other men period. Why is that? Do we not trust other guys or what? I think we all long to have more friend's that we could really talk to and open up too! I’m not sure why we have the problems we week in and week out. I think we just need to be more honest with one another and talk more about the things that really matter.

I would imagine most of the guys on this site are also aware that some/a few/many/a small number/ etc of the words/pictures on the many forums of this website are plain lies. There are some 'tells' orbiting around web photos that show they are not genuine and one of those 'tells' is the file name. In terms of length, I know that the average size of the male penis is between 5"and 5 and a half inches, that's proven by research, so it stands to reason that the majority of the guys showing photos of their cock will be right between those averages. It follows, therefore, that if you view 10 erect penises and they are all 7" or 8" long, then someone is lying.

I never considered my self above average until I started looking into an implant and found this web site. I always considered myself on the small side. I was always a grower.

But now I realize I am above average, right about 7 1/4" bone pressed. Well that's what the ruler says anyway. So why would I want to lie about that. There are guys on here that say that they are larger, I don't have any reason to question them.

But I do like my size.