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Widower a couple years ago from 35 year marriage... never would have thought in a million years at age 65 I'd be engaged to a funny, intelligent and smokin' hot 48 year old... and shopping at Adam & Eve....love it !

Evinrude wrote:Widower a couple years ago from 35 year marriage... never would have thought in a million years at age 65 I'd be engaged to a funny, intelligent and smokin' hot 48 year old... and shopping at Adam & Eve....love it !

Welcome to the forum and thanks for posting.

It is good to hear of good, healthy and active relationships (sexually active as well as in the other ways). It is a wonderment that women (of any age) are so accepting of us men, even with E.D. issues.

As your E.D. come on, what measures did you take (aside from what in in your signature) to deal with it and is your lady an active participant in treatment?

There are many men posting lately about relationship troubles (at least partly stemming from or exacerbated by their E.D.) and advice from a couple overcoming or avoiding said troubles would be invaluable. In other words, tell us your story. You have an attentive audience.

Evinrude,

Here is my non-helpful, irrelevant, smart ass comment. Given the topic of this forum, why pick Evinrude as your nick? Wouldn't Johnson be more appropriate?

Lost Sheep wrote:

As your E.D. come on, what measures did you take (aside from what in in your signature) to deal with it and is your lady an active participant in treatment?

There are many men posting lately about relationship troubles (at least partly stemming from or exacerbated by their E.D.) and advice from a couple overcoming or avoiding said troubles would be invaluable. In other words, tell us your story. You have an attentive audience.

Thanks LS. My story is a bit strange in that in spite of our ages, both of us were a bit like early 20 somethings in that neither of us had had sex for 15 years ! She, due to a loveless marriage, and me due mutual lack of desire with very overweight wife and her apparent lack of libedo (expecially for the four years of her illness)

Regardless, I was faithful, never had any affairs, and took care of her thru many years of terminal illness. After her death, I was so sick of being miserable, combined with feeling I had been in mourning from the time we knew it was hopeless, that I was ready in a few months to try a few internet dating sites. The web date possibilities seemed amazingly good at first, but in the end most were either just ok or disasters. Somewhere in that timeframe met my woman just by chance thru business dealings and the chemistry has been amazing.

Besides the intellectual and sense of humor compatability, we both rediscovered sex..... and OMG, what sex it has been...probably had more sex in the first three months of the relationship than have had in my entire life. And yet right off the bat I was having some trouble with ED... I couldn't believe it. I knew something was not quite right from masterbation becoming just a bit more difficult perhaps a year earlier, but I figured with a partner that smokin' hot and in love to boot, that would bring mister penis to serious attention regardless...but alas, it was not to be.

So...Viagra to the rescue ! At first 50mg did the trick and sex was amazing...I could last for 30 minutes, she with multiple orgasms. But over the months have needed more and more Viagra 100mg for awhile....but now it takes 150mg (overdose)...so looks like the implant is the way to go...have appointment with Broderick at Mayo Clinic in Jacksonville end of this month for first consultation.

Having said all that, another problem I never expected to have is achieving orgasm. Her magic hand has done the trick for me, but never via the vagina.... we have yet to experience simutaneous orgasm....that would seem the Holy Grail. Hoping the Viagra has something to do with my problem in that regard. Would be ironic that the one thing that gets it up also inhibits getting it off. Maybe drug free sex via going bionic will help ?

Still, I am so grateful to be in this wonderful relationship..especially after so many years of misery with my wife's cancer. Cliche' ...but ya never know what curves life can throw so best to make the most of it.

bldoink wrote:Evinrude, Here is my non-helpful, irrelevant, smart ass comment. Given the topic of this forum, why pick Evinrude as your nick? Wouldn't Johnson be more appropriate?

Maybe Johnson Sea Horse ?

Evinrude wrote:So...Viagra to the rescue ! At first 50mg did the trick and sex was amazing...I could last for 30 minutes, she with multiple orgasms. But over the months have needed more and more Viagra 100mg for awhile....but now it takes 150mg (overdose)...so looks like the implant is the way to go.

After Viagra lost effectiveness for me, Cialis, then Levitra (tadalifil) worked for a while, each in turn. I never rotated back to Viagra, but my tolerance for it might have abated...maybe. I bypassed V.E.D., suppositories and injections and asked to investigate an implant.

Evinrude wrote:Having said all that, another problem I never expected to have is achieving orgasm. Her magic hand has done the trick for me, but never via the vagina.... we have yet to experience simutaneous orgasm....that would seem the Holy Grail.

I never had problems (before implant) achieving orgasm. In fact, it came too early (partly due to having to keep up vigorous stimulation to maintain an erection, and that stimulation causing an inevitable climax).

Now, with the implant, for several months, orgasm has been difficult, sometimes not possible. I have not missed it one bit. Her orgasms are thrilling enough. And when I DO climax, often enough, it is during one of her episodes of near-continuous orgasm. So, the "simultaneous orgasm" has happened many times.

Evinrude wrote:Would be ironic that the one thing that gets it up also inhibits getting it off. Maybe drug free sex via going bionic will help ?

I will repeat. I do not miss my orgasms one bit.

Over the years, as my erections collapsed without my lover having had even one orgasm, I often thought I would be willing to trade my orgasms forever for being able to give her satisfying orgasms. (I phrased it, "my orgasms are easy and cheap, hers are exquisite; a mix of the earthy and the divine, rare and valuable).

I also thought that if I made that trade, I might regret the "forever/never" aspect of my orgasm trade. Thankfully, I orgasm about 75% of the time and she orgasms 100% of the time. She misses my semen and my orgasm a LOT more than I do!

Lost Sheep wrote:

Now, with the implant, for several months, orgasm has been difficult, sometimes not possible. I have not missed it one bit. Her orgasms are thrilling enough. And when I DO climax, often enough, it is during one of her episodes of near-continuous orgasm. So, the "simultaneous orgasm" has happened many times.

To clarify our situation, the simutaneous orgasm ideal was first expressed by her, not me. She experienced that decades ago with a partner, before she was married. Could be a chicken or egg deal, but I have a notion she would have a stronger orgasm if simutaneous with mine...thus my desire to improve my possibilites in that regard mostly for her benefit. Otherwise I'm with you in that her ultimate pleasure, pleasures me the most.

Just be aware, orgasms are difficult with lots of guys with implants. With me orgasm was easier with injection, even though the pge-1 in trimix was causing a lot of pain. Pain and scaring caused me to go to implant very quickly. Great that you have a new partner.

oldbeek wrote:Just be aware, orgasms are difficult with lots of guys with implants.

Maybe a better way to state this would be "orgasms are difficult for SOME guy with an implant"? The "lots of guys" implies an outcome likely to be expected. I'm sure you'd agree that might be counterproductive to the encouragement we give here? Please don't take offense to this comment, I meant it with the best intentions.

DaveKell wrote:

oldbeek wrote:Just be aware, orgasms are difficult with lots of guys with implants.

Maybe a better way to state this would be "orgasms are difficult for SOME guy with an implant"? The "lots of guys" implies an outcome likely to be expected.

I totally agree with DaveKell.