I’ve enjoyed receiving blowjobs but they’ve never been super high on my list. Could name 20 other things right now that I’d choose instead. But I was also married for 20+ years to someone who would occasionally throw me a lick or two but it absolutely was not her thing and her efforts with blowing me definitely translated as just that: it was an effort on her part. Not in a particularly positive way.
When I was 19 there was a girl I dated for awhile who was 26. Turns out that was a serious difference in experience and the confidence which comes with it. She loved giving blowjobs. She would find reasons, times, situations…she just liked giving them for their own sake and she had I am sure a whole bunch of chemical reactions in her own brain which rewarded her when she went down on a guy. She could vacuum my dick down her throat, no teeth touching, and she did things I can’t even explain. Her mouth and throat were like an aroused aggressive pussy. At that time, I loved the experiences and even though she had some magic going there, I do remember frequently trying to shift gears before I would come, so we could fuck. Sometimes a little tussle would follow.
Now early 50’s and remarried and blowjobs are one fun part of a really broad menu for us. I love blowjobs with her but I honestly don’t want or need them frequently. Two ways this goes for us:1. Submissiveness on her part:
in the middle of…whatever…I initiate by telling her to do something. I pull out of her and tell her to open her mouth. Or I don’t tell her, I just move her where I want her and she happily complies. Or I tell her specifically what’s going to happen (“in a minute, I want you to __________ ie get on your knees, close your eyes” etc). In this context, these end up usually less like a BJ and more like me fucking her mouth or jerking off directly into her mouth – which she verbalizes and encourages and it makes her crazy. Me, too.2. Assertiveness on her part:
she decides we’re doing a BJ. She’s wrestled some control. She is mostly a submissive but it’s great because when she does
decide to assert…it makes everything that much more memorable and powerful to me because this is not her default behavior. In this context, she treats her relationship with my dick like her life absolutely…fucking…depends
on how she worships and treats it in that moment. It’s like water in a desert to her at these times, and her…deliberateness…and her eye contact…holy hell, man. I infinitely prefer to come in her pussy, but at these times, when she has asserted and when she is running the BJ, I let go of everything mental and physical and I drown myself in her and let it go however she wants. And it's the obvious fact that she wants
Number 2 there is so exciting because she seems starved for my dick and because that starvation translates through her touch and her eye contact and her pace and because she wants to swallow my come but she knows I like to see it…so she does that…opens wide…I see it jet into her open mouth…she knows that just unhinges me. It really is the pace and the deliberate nature of this and it’s (no small thing) what I know to be her utter authenticity of effort. So BJs for me now are 90% mental for those reasons. As I get older, the mental is such a critical playground to accompany the physical. The experienced 26 year old I knew back when I was 19...I'm certain she was a better BJ technician than my wife today...at a technical level of what her lips, tongue, mouth, all were working to accomplish physically. But my wife today adds those hundred layers of other elements which, for me anyway, far outweigh the physical adeptness of a talented mouth. If that makes sense.
[Have also more recently played with another guy and so another dick in MMF scenarios with my wife. So I’ve now experienced having my dick sucked by a guy and vice versa and I've had the seriously unique opportunity to see my wife with another dick and with two dicks together. A related but separate discussion. It’s still a dick in a mouth but…]
Yeah. Future discussion. A lot more to that one