Envious of others

There is more to sex than an erect penis. How do you maintain your sexuality both for yourself and for your partner? What techniques do you use to give both of you a great, satisfying sex life? How do you explore your own body and sexuality now that the rules have changed?
Lost Sheep
Posts: 5168
Joined: Mon Jul 04, 2016 11:16 pm

Re: Envious of others

Postby Lost Sheep » Fri Mar 25, 2022 1:39 am

AmansinCali wrote:This subject came up this morning in my household before we had sex, my wife is 75 and I am 77. I use tri-mix so none of lovemaking is spontaneous. Having coffee first thing, she said, "Do you want to play today?" I said, "Well that was romantic." Then she explained in words that I and all you guys know, but haven't heard, "I don't get horny like you do, I don't have balls and a pecker talking to me, but I know how edgy you get when you don't have sex a couple times a week." Then, "I don't get horny until you start playing with me."

We never talked much about sex, just did it when the mood struck; however, since I have been on tri-mix for a little over a year it has almost forced us to speak more openly. As ED settled in I began to assure her that it was not her fault, it was just the way nature works, but I told her I would get it fixed. I began to share with her some of the stories I read on FT and how some women just don't seem to care about their husband's needs. I read one rather dramatic post to her once by a sex starved husband and she said, "That is just plain cruel."

We are having the best sex of our lives and I know it is from speaking more openly about our sexual relationship.

As it has been pointed out over and over again on FT, getting turned on and satisfied is about 90% in the brain. Those who recommend starting a verbal conversation about why you need sex more than her I think are on the right track. Open up and get it on the table.

Your testimonhy moved me deeply, sir. You have a treasure in such a caring, sensitive and aware wife. Congratulations on finding her, cultivating such a relationship with her and listening with a hearing heart.

Lost Sheep with utmost respect. Thank you for sharing.
Lost Sheep
AMS LGX 18+3 Nov 6, 2017 Dr Shaw
READ OLD THREADS to ask better questions and better understand answers
Become part of your medical team
Document pre-op penile size-photos and written records
Pre-op VED therapy helps. Post-op is another matter

AmansinCali
Posts: 46
Joined: Mon Apr 20, 2020 2:30 pm

Re: Envious of others

Postby AmansinCali » Fri Mar 25, 2022 11:36 am

Thank you Lost Sheep, that is very meaningful coming from such an active participant on FT. The best to you too.

BelleBite
Posts: 3
Joined: Fri Jun 10, 2022 10:40 pm

Re: Envious of others

Postby BelleBite » Sat Jun 11, 2022 2:35 pm

I am new to this site. Until a year and a half ago, when I was diagnosed with PC and subsequently had surgery I was fit (into body building) and looked, felt and acted young. I am 71. Since my surgery I feel I have aged 15-20 years and now I am facing the probability of a course of salvage radiation + hormone therapy. (Am definitely not looking forward to THOSE side effects!) Prior to surgery I experienced episodic ED, which usually responded to pills. Since, activity down there has been pretty much zero, I have developed Peyronies and been diagnosed with a venous leak. Am now considering an implant.
Part of what I am struggling with is the sad fact that my wife of 45 years has had NO interest in sex for 25-30 years. This has led me to depression and and a lot of negative self thoughts. Consequently, I have sought sex outside the marriage - including men and women - and I have found solace and fun in that. She doesn't seem to want to hear about it; raising the subject always distresses her and frustrates me so I no longer do. I give her frequent massages (she has a long history of back and leg pain); I knows she appreciates that but I find myself resenting that there is no reciprocation of touch.
Not sure how to explain to her why being able to get and sustain an erection is important to me and why I would go through the pain and discomfort of getting an implant. What I have said to her is that I think it will make me feel whole again.
71 radical prostatectomy; surgery at MSKCC.

AnotherOldMan
Posts: 398
Joined: Tue Dec 27, 2016 9:52 am

Re: Envious of others

Postby AnotherOldMan » Sun Jun 12, 2022 7:26 am

pump up and set the rings and then go to it - with or without the help of a vibrator. She does orgasm once and that's it - too sensitive and can't be touched after.... I guess I shouldn't complain too much because we do now have a date night weekly...but none-the-less, I do miss a little aggressiveness, desire and romance.


Your profile says you are 83 years old You have a weekly sex date with your wife who STILL regularly orgasms. Is this a subtle way of bragging?
Married 50+ years. Use VED for sex and do
daily exercises with both water and vacuum pumps.

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bldoink
Posts: 2939
Joined: Mon Apr 03, 2017 12:58 am
Location: Fl.

Re: Envious of others

Postby bldoink » Sun Jun 12, 2022 8:39 am

Not so subtle. But I'll give him bragging rights. I'd be kinda proud too. You go dude!
R.R.P 2011 Mayo Jacksonville, Dr. Michael Wehle. Nerve sparing - badly damaged. C in margin. V.E.D, Viagra and PGE-1 (80mcg/ml) injections @ ~ 14 units. Originally Edex20, then compounded PGE-1 - cost. Inject. 10+ yrs. It works. Treasure coast of FL.

Alan810
Posts: 65
Joined: Wed Jun 02, 2021 1:38 pm
Location: Florida
Contact:

Re: Envious of others

Postby Alan810 » Mon Jun 13, 2022 7:11 pm

AnotherOldMan & bldoink: Sorry, wish I could but I can’t accept the “bragging rights.” Yes, after many years of nothing, bitching, complaining, and guilt trips - finally got her to give in. The “rights” go to my VED w/rings and her helping herself during PIV with a vibrator. At our age positions and PIV is difficult and sometime a little painful for her, but we carefully find a way. I have yet to climax during penetration and sometimes have difficulty after with mostly self-help, but I still enjoy it. My reason for posting is to let other guys that have similar situations that there can be hope…with persistence. DON'T GIVE UP!!!
83 yrs old. Married 40 yrs. On meds for B/P, Cholesterol and BPH. Greenlight procedure yrs ago. 30 yrs ED w/Retrograde Ejaculations. Tried Pills, Injections & different pumps. Excellent results with ErecAId pump & Beige D & Gray D rings.

AnotherOldMan
Posts: 398
Joined: Tue Dec 27, 2016 9:52 am

Re: Envious of others

Postby AnotherOldMan » Tue Jun 14, 2022 6:38 am

The “rights” go to my VED w/rings and her helping herself during PIV with a vibrator.


Both of those, VED and vibrator, are a testament to you and your wife's willingness to continue your sex life at an age when a lot just give up and quit. I think you BOTH get "bragging rights".
Married 50+ years. Use VED for sex and do
daily exercises with both water and vacuum pumps.


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