Cheaters or sex outside relationship

What are your fears? Ideas? Hints? to coping with ED. What helps you with your mental game? How are relationships affected?

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Anonymous3
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Joined: Thu Aug 03, 2017 9:43 pm

Cheaters or sex outside relationship

Postby Anonymous3 » Thu Mar 01, 2018 7:35 am

* Larry if you think this would be better in Sexuality please move it.

We all know there is a small group of that for what ever reason we are getting sex from our wives(partner). Using the term wives as the majority of us have them, but it is any long term relationship partner.

There is another group that just wants more than they get at home.

Primarily talking about the first group. It seem to be more predominant with those of us implanted, but I am sure others have the same problem.

So with all that said. Some just say the hell with I don't need sex anymore because my wife decided she does not. I think that is very few the question there is Why the hell did you get the implant? I am not in that group. As I have stated in other post she has almost zero intresest, but I still love her. Now the issue is a physical need vs emotional feeling. Divorce is not a good option.
I have discovered this seems to be a problem not just in the ED world but in the normal erection world as well. A lot of guys that are bisexual are in the same situation. I am using some of the sites that are for just NSA. If anyone else is using them with sucess please PM ME. Others go the hooker routine. In alot of the profiles I read on the other sites or women I chat with have this no married men approach. The guys on the other hand when can we get together. After several encounters with just men I have realized I perfer pussy but dick is ok.

The question who is actually doing the cheating? The man that has a physical need that is not meet at home or the wife that is not taking care of that physical need? I believe it is the wife that is cheating the husband. If I was having regular sex at home would not be looking for someone else to fill that physical void. I think the cheating is the emotionally thing when you start using words of endearment ie I LOVE YOU .

Now for that small second group that it is having sex at home . The physical need is meet just not fully satified so I dont know if that is cheating or not.

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Larry10625
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Re: Cheaters or sex outside relationship

Postby Larry10625 » Thu Mar 01, 2018 8:49 am

hturner12 wrote:* Larry if you think this would be better in Sexuality please move it.

We all know there is a small group of that for what ever reason we are getting sex from our wives(partner). Using the term wives as the majority of us have them, but it is any long term relationship partner.

There is another group that just wants more than they get at home.

Primarily talking about the first group. It seem to be more predominant with those of us implanted, but I am sure others have the same problem.

So with all that said. Some just say the hell with I don't need sex anymore because my wife decided she does not. I think that is very few the question there is Why the hell did you get the implant? I am not in that group. As I have stated in other post she has almost zero intresest, but I still love her. Now the issue is a physical need vs emotional feeling. Divorce is not a good option.
I have discovered this seems to be a problem not just in the ED world but in the normal erection world as well. A lot of guys that are bisexual are in the same situation. I am using some of the sites that are for just NSA. If anyone else is using them with sucess please PM ME. Others go the hooker routine. In alot of the profiles I read on the other sites or women I chat with have this no married men approach. The guys on the other hand when can we get together. After several encounters with just men I have realized I perfer pussy but dick is ok.

The question who is actually doing the cheating? The man that has a physical need that is not meet at home or the wife that is not taking care of that physical need? I believe it is the wife that is cheating the husband. If I was having regular sex at home would not be looking for someone else to fill that physical void. I think the cheating is the emotionally thing when you start using words of endearment ie I LOVE YOU .

Now for that small second group that it is having sex at home . The physical need is meet just not fully satified so I dont know if that is cheating or not.



Hey Hugh... you post is fine right where it is. :D

Larry
51 years old, married 29 years. Implanted Mar 30/17 by Dr. Brock of London, Ont, CANADA. (AMS 700 CX 18 + 2). Had implant removed Apr 29/17 due to Septic Shock. Liposuction By Dr. Gan and re-implant by Dr. Brock (AMS LGX 15 + 2) Dec 14/17.

bldoink
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Location: Fl.

Re: Cheaters or sex outside relationship

Postby bldoink » Thu Mar 01, 2018 3:39 pm

I got the part where you're asking for PM's from anyone successfully using NSA sites.

Other than that are you just venting or are you asking for values or morals judgments or perhaps definitions? It seems you are.

My success or failures in the values or morals department aside (and we don't want to go there), these are my simple answers: #1) A spouse withholding sexual gratification is wrong but the old adage of "two wrongs don't make a right" is still true. #2) The use of terms of endearment is irrelevant.

I'm completely devoid of any moral purity that would give me moral authority to make moral judgments. But you asked, I think. I can offer no no practical advice or even comfort. I do have compassion for your predicament and pray you will find a resolution and comfort. The obvious is to suggest counseling for you and your wife from appropriate professionals or even pastoral counseling if that is within your belief structure.

If this reply offends you just let me know and it'll be gone.

Good luck
R.R.P 2011 Mayo Jacksonville by Dr. Michael Wehle. Nerve sparing but damaged. V.E.D, Viagra and Alprostadil manually injected. Originally Edex20. Switched to Alprostadil from compounding pharmacy - cost. Injecting 5-6 yrs. It works. Treasure coast of FL.

Anonymous3
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Joined: Thu Aug 03, 2017 9:43 pm

Re: Cheaters or sex outside relationship

Postby Anonymous3 » Thu Mar 01, 2018 3:53 pm

bldoink wrote:I got the part where you're asking for PM's from anyone successfully using NSA sites.

Other than that are you just venting or are you asking for values or morals judgments or perhaps definitions? It seems you are.

My success or failures in the values or morals department aside (and we don't want to go there), these are my simple answers: #1) A spouse withholding sexual gratification is wrong but the old adage of "two wrongs don't make a right" is still true. #2) The use of terms of endearment is irrelevant.

I'm completely devoid of any moral purity that would give me moral authority to make moral judgments. But you asked, I think. I can offer no no practical advice or even comfort. I do have compassion for your predicament and pray you will find a resolution and comfort. The obvious is to suggest counseling for you and your wife from appropriate professionals or even pastoral counseling if that is within your belief structure.

If this reply offends you just let me know and it'll be gone.

Good luck

Not at all on offending.

She will not go to counseling.

Some venting some seeing if others are in same situation and what they are doing. Moral values are on individual thing. Most of us know right from wrong.
There are 2 simple solutions her start having sex aga8n
Open marriage.
The divorce option is not a good one

newbie443
Posts: 342
Joined: Fri Dec 01, 2017 9:41 pm
Location: Sedgwick county, Kansas USA

Re: Cheaters or sex outside relationship

Postby newbie443 » Fri Mar 02, 2018 1:32 am

I have learned in all my years that I really know very little. All I can offer is a bit about my choices in life. And maybe an observation or two.

I stood up and gave my word when I was married. I never had sex with anyone else while I was married. I am not convinced my ex-wife did or did not. When she started menopause our relationship went really bad and she cut me off. This also was when my ED started badly so I really didn't care and we were both in bad shape. Seven years ago she left and it took about a year for me to start taking care of myself. Over time I slowly started to want to see women again. So now I am on (I hope) my way to looking for the right women. I do not know how that will go but I am happier than I have been in a very long time. I have 2 sons that I am very proud of. I had some great times with my ex in the early years. There are things I am not happy with that I did. I accept this as no one is perfect and all we can do is try to not repeat our mistakes and learn from them.

As I said I do not know much but if I had sex with another while I was married in secret I would be cheating on her as would she be cheating on me if she did the same. It was wrong for her to refuse to have sex with me as it would have been for me to do the same to her. Of course the refusing to have sex can be from physical and mental issues. As was in me and my ex's case.

Emotions are very powerful things and that is why when someone is killed the first ones looked at as a suspect is a significant other. Even in cases where the relationship was "open".

Now these are just my choices. I understand others will make different choices than I do. When my head hits the pillow at night or I look in the mirror I am the one that answer's to me.

Friend I do not have answer's for you. I wish only good things for you going forward with this.
Injections failed. Implanted 3-21-18 AMS 700 LGX 21 + 1 RTE 100 cc reservoir Dr. Kramer. https://youtu.be/QPu9pLBM0wM

61 years young.

Will show and tell and talk with others.

Anonymous3
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Joined: Thu Aug 03, 2017 9:43 pm

Re: Cheaters or sex outside relationship

Postby Anonymous3 » Fri Mar 02, 2018 3:08 am

Thank you there are no simple answers. It sucks to go thru this

dg_moore
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Joined: Mon Apr 25, 2011 9:34 am

Re: Cheaters or sex outside relationship

Postby dg_moore » Fri Mar 02, 2018 5:48 am

Seems to me that anybody's loss of interest in sex is not necessarily intended to be punitive to the partner, but to meet that own individual's personal needs. When my wife finally lost all interest she was not "depriving" me of something I was "entitled" to but was responding to her own needs. Life is not all that transactional, and you can't always get all you want.
Dave, 75, Maryland - Implant (Titan) 2008 by Dr. Andrew Kramer - never used due to a stroke that, among other things, ended my sex life.
Life is not the way it's supposed to be, it's the way it is.

David_R
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Location: Northeast Maryland

Re: Cheaters or sex outside relationship

Postby David_R » Fri Mar 02, 2018 10:50 am

dg_moore wrote:"Life is not the way it's supposed to be, it's the way it is."

So sad sometimes but so true.
Age 69. Prostatectomy in 2000. My urologist is Dr. Marc Siegelbaum of Univ. of Md. St. Joseph Med. Ctr. in Baltimore suburb of Towson. (LGX, and after regular inflating I regained my original length and girth.)

Gordon
Posts: 102
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Location: Somewhere in Alabama

Re: Cheaters or sex outside relationship

Postby Gordon » Sat Mar 03, 2018 10:31 pm

In my case I have a buddy that we have known each other for over 30 years. He is in same situation as I am. Wife not interested anymore. There are other alternatives. Keep an open mind. Men can satisfy men sometimes better because we know what makes it feel good. Only if you’re comfortable with your own sexuality can you pull that off. Doesn’t make you gay. Just open to other alternatives.
Married 63 AMS LGX 700 2/15/2017

Anonymous3
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Joined: Thu Aug 03, 2017 9:43 pm

Re: Cheaters or sex outside relationship

Postby Anonymous3 » Sun Mar 04, 2018 6:06 am

rick61 wrote:In my case I have a buddy that we have known each other for over 30 years. He is in same situation as I am. Wife not interested anymore. There are other alternatives. Keep an open mind. Men can satisfy men sometimes better because we know what makes it feel good. Only if you’re comfortable with your own sexuality can you pull that off. Doesn’t make you gay. Just open to other alternatives.


Rick

I agree been there done that would do it again just perfer pussy over dick


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