Freaking Out

[Steven1111]

So I thought I was prepared for this. I told my Uro. on Wednesday last that I was ready to go ahead and do the implant surgery in about 6 weeks. I talked later to both my psychiatrist and counselor and was fine and positive and sure. Now since then I've been going thru "Buyer's Remorse" and I haven't even done it yet! I'm afraid I'm about to make the biggest mistake of my life. I have a good sex life now and could continue as a bottom and just not fuck anymore but I don't really want that. But it's not critical like it is for some guys, especially the straight ones who don't have the other ways of sexual interaction I have available to me. I feel like I should tell the scheduler on Monday that I want to cancel out. But I don't want to. I want to be OK and go ahead with it and get the implant But I'm terribly confused. Is this normal? I'm wondering if others have gone thru this kind of extreme backlash before the implant. Any others out there like me? I know I'm lucky to even be able to do it, but still. I just don't now if it's the right thing to do. Shit I hate this. I thought the indecision was over and I was certain. Now.... I dunno. I'm hoping this is just normal fears about surgery (I've been had before Bad) and fears in specific about having my cock dissected and implanted and the resultant risks. I'm scared I'll admit it. But I want to do it so badly. Sorry if I'm rambling here. That's my point I guess - that I'm all over the map again. Hopefully I'll be fine in a day or so. I just needed to post this and vent a bit. Thanks for reading, and wish me luck. I know - take a few deep breaths...

Steve

[Steven1111]

Well I guess I was ready after all. As soon as I signed the surgeons consent forms I mellowed out and I've been fine ever since. Cool, calm, collected and ready to go for it. Now I'm just excited and ready for that surgery date on May 9th which I have scheduled. Everything is cool and fine now. I'm so happy I decided to do it. Now I just have to wait a bit and I'll be starting a new life. I can't wait...

Steve

[jn1421]

I'd be freaking too! I do not have an implant yet, but I can imagine me thinking exactly like you. This is not an easy thing to wrap your mind around so don't think/feel it should be. I'm glad you are settled within yourself about it now. If you want, come in the chat room after you recover from surgery. A lot of guys in the past have got online in their hospital room and told us everything. Very good for everyone!

[Steven1111]

Thanks for the support, jn. It is a hard thing, or will be soon anyway I hope, to wrap your head around but I'm doing it quite well now. I still wonder sometimes, but I'm committed and happy I'm doing it. Now I just want it to happen so I can start healing and get to using it! 2 more weeks and I'll be a new bionic man. Robo-cocks rock!

Steve

[rschweiger]

Hey steve,
Just some support for you......I wasn't scared before I got implanted I couldn't take the mind games of ED anymore(I suffered from 37yrs old implanted 7/7/2012 @ 41 yrs old)it wasn't till bout 4 days later when I said what the hell did I just do?lol
But all worked out fine and I couldn't be happier.
So think positive you'll be fine
I wish you the best on your journey,keep us informed if u have any questions just ask i'd be glad to help if I can. You can even e-mail me @ angeltat2@msn.com
Or send me personal message here.
Best of luck,Rich

[Steven1111]

Hi Rich,

Thanks for your kind support. I really appreciate it. I'm still going back and forth some, and can imagine having the same reaction you had a few days after it happens, but I'm committed to getting this implant at this point for sure. I too have had enough of the mind games of ED and I hate it. I haven't suffered as long as you did - only about 5 months - but that was enough for me to decide that I needed to address it now before I get much older... I figure I have a lot of sex left in me and I want to be able to enjoy it. I know I will. I have my final appt. with my surgeon next week and I'll ask the final questions and see what he says but I think I understand most of what will happen now. I did my EKG and had my pre-admission appt. at the hospital a couple of days ago and all is a go. So off we go to the candy store to pick out the best all day sucker I could imagine!

Cheers,
Steve

[rschweiger]

Hi steve, it seems like your doing well.
It will all be worth it when its a distant memory.
The day of my implant I looked @ my dr. And said " hey doc all the other implants you've done was practice for doing mine......do your best work today"
Its for sure a scarey propisition but not as scarey as being 41 and loseing that part of me.
We're here for ya my friend, Rich.

[Steven1111]

Hey Rich,

Thanks again for your generous support. I can't live like this anymore either. It's too hard on me. I've always been very sexual and now I can't be and its hell on my self esteem and how I see and know myself. I'll remember what you told your doc and tell mine something similar. I'm trusting him to to do this right and I think he will. So here we go! I think you're right that I'm in a good place tho, even with the doubts I still harbor. But I think that's natural. I'll be so glad when the surgery is over tho so I can quit doubting and just go forward in peace, heal up well and have some fun again... Thanks for being there to help me out. I appreciate it a lot.

cheers,
Steve