Sex surrogates

What are your fears? Ideas? Hints? to coping with ED. What helps you with your mental game? How are relationships affected?
Martin6469
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Sex surrogates

Postby Martin6469 » Tue Aug 23, 2022 12:13 am

In the 1960s and '70s, Masters and Johnson experimented with hiring experienced women to socialize with men with psychological ED, have lunch with them in a restaurant perhaps, and eventually go to bed with them and get them comfortable with sex. This turned out well and now surrogates can be found in moderate-size cities. I'm told by my local university school of social work that surrogates are legal in all fifty states. Now that we have Viagra, this should work even better than it did fifty years ago.

So how do you find a surrogate? Psychologists who deal with sex problems can refer you. How do you find a psychologist? Ask Mr. Google (or DuckDuckGo for better privacy), ask your urologist or GP; all hospitals have social workers who can refer you.

Masters and Johnson found that the surrogate's physical type should match the guy's mental picture of his ideal woman, as much as is practical. (Not all surrogates can be tens, of course, so don't get unrealistic! Just mention your preferred body type.)

The bad news is that it can be expensive, since you have to pay two hourly rates. www.healthline.com mentions $3000-5000 for 12-15 sessions in their article on surrogates; the psychologist's fee is extra.

Now that the virus is fading a little, maybe this is becoming feasible, for those who can afford it, after getting the omicron vaccine this fall.

I've not hired a surrogate, but maybe some guys who have will comment.
Age 78 in 2023. On testosterone replacement due to hypothalamus malfunction. (Attention depressed guys: low testosterone is a cause.) Healthy health nut but ED due to getting old. Like to keep enough cardiovascular ability to thrust for 30 min.

Old Guy
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Re: Sex surrogates

Postby Old Guy » Tue Aug 23, 2022 8:26 am

The first thing that stops me is they hired "experienced" females. Does that mean the surrogates are ladies of the night? Then I wonder how many males one lady deals with at a time. A date only takes a few hours so she could have several males going at the same time. No Thanks.
Nov. 8, 2019
4+ years, Coloplast Titan OTR
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Anonymous FT Member
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Joined: Thu Jun 30, 2022 2:17 am

Re: Sex surrogates

Postby Anonymous FT Member » Tue Aug 23, 2022 10:03 pm

Old Guy wrote:The first thing that stops me is they hired "experienced" females. Does that mean the surrogates are ladies of the night? Then I wonder how many males one lady deals with at a time. A date only takes a few hours so she could have several males going at the same time. No Thanks.


I thought the "experienced" part might mean they were experienced or familiar with the issue of psychogenic ED with men. I would have the same concerns, and I bet they have to have regular std/sti testing. Probably a mountain of paperwork involved in something like that. I'd still be nervous :oops:

Lost Sheep
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Sex surrogates Legitimate?

Postby Lost Sheep » Tue Aug 23, 2022 11:15 pm

Yes, sexual surrogacy is an actual therapeutic practice. I don't know how widely accepted it is in the professional canon, but it is recognized.

https://www.webmd.com/sex/what-is-sexual-surrogacy

Of course, the "amateur professional sexual surrogate" (known by many euphemisms) is less expensive than what was described here but a true professional therapist, licensed, trained, cognizant of the many issues involved in sexual problems (and not just only ED, but the wide range of issues a person might have) could be of benefit. DEFINITELY NOT focused on sexual gratification of the client, but rather, on exploring the client's needs, whether physical skills, social skills, comfort around intimacy, etc. A sexual surrogate is more of a counselor than a sex partner, by far.

Of course, the traditional way for a boy to be intiated into sexuality used to be when his Father would take him down to the local "House" and get his pubescent son a kindly madam who would introduce the boy to the wonders of sex. (Possibly with one of the "ladies of the evening" with whom the Father is familiar.) Call it a rite of passage. But not traditional in Puritan societies. And not much talked about in public. :roll:
Lost Sheep
AMS LGX 18+3 Nov 6, 2017
Prostate Cancer 2023
READ OLD THREADS-ask better questions -better understand answers
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Pre-op VED therapy helps. Post-op is another matter

Old Guy
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Re: Sex surrogates

Postby Old Guy » Wed Aug 24, 2022 9:30 am

I can grasp the need of a sexual counselor for some issues but being that intimate with a person is bound to lead to sex. The bad part is once the therapy ends there is no more contact allowed, which could be emotionally devastating and start the issues all over.
Nov. 8, 2019
4+ years, Coloplast Titan OTR
Married 36 years to my beautiful young bride
Always here to answer questions if you PM me

Lost Sheep
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Re: Sex surrogates

Postby Lost Sheep » Wed Aug 24, 2022 11:58 am

Old Guy wrote:I can grasp the need of a sexual counselor for some issues but being that intimate with a person is bound to lead to sex. The bad part is once the therapy ends there is no more contact allowed, which could be emotionally devastating and start the issues all over.

That is probably why there are always two therapists involved. One solely counsels and the other provides counsel and (when required by the therapy and agreed between both therapists or all three people) intimacy.

The therapy is (supposed to be) tightly managed and the termination of the counselling as well-managed as the rest of it. Of course, mis-management or mistakes in judgement are always possible. As you (Old Guy) point out an emotionally vulnerable person might be especially subject to the aftereffects of separating from someone with whom one has been intimate. And this applies not only to the surrogate, but to any psychiatrist or counsellor, even one who only engaged in talk therapy.
Lost Sheep
AMS LGX 18+3 Nov 6, 2017
Prostate Cancer 2023
READ OLD THREADS-ask better questions -better understand answers
Be part of your medical team
Document pre-op size-photos and written records
Pre-op VED therapy helps. Post-op is another matter

Old Guy
Posts: 2473
Joined: Tue Mar 31, 2020 4:31 pm
Location: Ohio

Re: Sex surrogates

Postby Old Guy » Wed Aug 24, 2022 2:37 pm

Lost Sheep wrote:As you (Old Guy) point out an emotionally vulnerable person might be especially subject to the aftereffects of separating from someone with whom one has been intimate. And this applies not only to the surrogate, but to any psychiatrist or counsellor, even one who only engaged in talk therapy.


As humans sometimes any emotional bond can make for a tough separation. As a former medical professional who worked very close with my patients, some of them had a tough time letting go when therapy ended. Just human nature to attach to a person who shows care for you.
Nov. 8, 2019
4+ years, Coloplast Titan OTR
Married 36 years to my beautiful young bride
Always here to answer questions if you PM me

Old Guy
Posts: 2473
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Location: Ohio

Re: Sex surrogates

Postby Old Guy » Wed Aug 24, 2022 2:39 pm

Old Guy wrote:
Lost Sheep wrote:As you (Old Guy) point out an emotionally vulnerable person might be especially subject to the aftereffects of separating from someone with whom one has been intimate. And this applies not only to the surrogate, but to any psychiatrist or counsellor, even one who only engaged in talk therapy.


As humans sometimes any emotional bond can make for a tough separation. As a former medical professional who worked very close with my patients, some of them had a tough time letting go when therapy ended. Just human nature to attach to a person who shows care for you. And I have to add there was one or two I had a tough time ending therapy with.
Nov. 8, 2019
4+ years, Coloplast Titan OTR
Married 36 years to my beautiful young bride
Always here to answer questions if you PM me

ScrewedbyDoctors
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Re: Sex surrogates

Postby ScrewedbyDoctors » Thu Sep 15, 2022 1:13 pm

In Spain prostitution in not against the law, you can have a very hot young woman for $60.
I had a trauma 2 years ago, caused me narrowing, dent and shortening. PRP injections three months ago=worse narrowing, and worse ED. Now I only have two choices: impotent or implant. Born in 1975, in a relationship with girlfriend fir 4 years

AmansinCali
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Re: Sex surrogates

Postby AmansinCali » Thu Sep 15, 2022 2:41 pm

It’s said, if it flys, fucks or floats rent it, don’t buy it. :roll:
Used Viagra & Cialis until lost vision in one eye due to AION, therefore can never use pills again, then tri-mix 1 1/2 years until unreliable. Implanted 9/20/22 at 77 years old by Dr. Yafi, UC Irvine. Married 55 years wife 76. 20cm Coloplast Titan.


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