Depression haven't moved out of bed for the 4 days

What are your fears? Ideas? Hints? to coping with ED. What helps you with your mental game? How are relationships affected?
young_and_impotent
Posts: 215
Joined: Mon Apr 23, 2018 1:00 pm

Re: Depression haven't moved out of bed for the 4 days

Postby young_and_impotent » Thu Jan 02, 2020 10:31 am

DAY 7

Thanks guys, your words help a lot.

I just wanted to write down my thoughts daily, this is more like a venting place tbh. I'll write down my 'journey' here.

Today I didn't do anything as usual but had a bath. Right now I'm sitting with my legs open in front of the heater. I hope this aids in healing and bettering my mood.

It's shocking I have been doing absolutely nothing for 1 week. Not even my favorite thing like watching TV series. There's a new TV series called Witcher, I tried watching it. I'm not that interested anymore. Also not preparing for my new job, but I have lots of time for that.

I want to start inflating and deflating as soon as possible, I might have to go to the office on Monday. I would prefer to be deflated.
28 year old with severe lifelong ED.
Implanted in New Delhi on 26/12/19 with AMS CX (15x12) + 4cm RTE
Post op length 4.5 inches from ~ (5.5 to 6) inches. Disappointed!
Wish to have a revision to LGX some day.

Lost Sheep
Posts: 4423
Joined: Mon Jul 04, 2016 11:16 pm

Re: Depression haven't moved out of bed for the 4 days

Postby Lost Sheep » Fri Jan 03, 2020 8:15 pm

young_and_impotent wrote:I want to start inflating and deflating as soon as possible, I might have to go to the office on Monday. I would prefer to be deflated.

Your co-workers might prefer that, too. :D

It is good to hear/read that you are on the mend.
Lost Sheep
AMS LGX 18+3 Nov 6, 2017 Dr Shaw.
READ OLD THREADS to ask better questions and better understand answers.
Make yourself part of your medical team.
Document your current penile size: photos and written records.
Pre-op V.E.D. therapy helps.

Agfa13
Posts: 1187
Joined: Thu Oct 31, 2019 6:03 pm
Location: Laurel, Maryland

Re: Depression haven't moved out of bed for the 4 days

Postby Agfa13 » Fri Jan 03, 2020 9:47 pm

Young....repeat after me...patience, patience, patience. Your junk just went through a VERY traumatic experience (have you seen the vids on what the Drs do when they operate on your dick)?
I posted a before pic of my junk in Dick Of the Day...damnit, I want it all back!

My surgery was on 12/10. Right now, I am going around with a 4" dick (compared to pic). I have definitely lost girth big time!
I chose this avenue because it was causing me angst when performing. I know it will be a long road to get my full 8" back.
Reading around FT, I have to be patient and let nature resolve itself. Dr told me that what I went in with, I will come out with...he better be fucking right, lol!
Reading, I just have to wait. Keep yourself busy, and move on with life. I actually worked out today. Hanging out at friend's house kind of got me depressed too because I was not in my own domain. Now I am, and have more control of what I am doing. No jostling of the balls.
You are a man. This testosterone of ours gets us in trouble more times then we care to admit, and we are our own worst critic.

Once your body feels better, you will notice little things. Those little things add up. Your confidence will soar, I guarantee it! It will take a while, but believe me, others that have gone before us will be screaming at the top of their lungs if this was a bad choice. So, hang in there. Keep reading stuff on here in FT. I am sure you will eventually drop off this site because you have no need for it. You will have put in your 2 cents on here, and someone else will be going through the same thing and eventually arrive at the same end when they practice PATIENCE!

4 days (and counting)? You should be walking around to get your body healing.

Good luck!
Ag, 57, Maryland
Document with BEFORE and after pics
AMS cx 24cm, Titan malleable, Titan Legacy on 3/2/20 (20cm/bilat 2cm RTE/ 75 cc)
Face pic on pg. 23: names and faces; dick pic on pg 7: on Dick of day

young_and_impotent
Posts: 215
Joined: Mon Apr 23, 2018 1:00 pm

Re: Depression haven't moved out of bed for the 4 days

Postby young_and_impotent » Mon Jan 06, 2020 1:15 pm

DAY 11

Worked from home today. A change from sitting alone wallowing in pity.
Also getting used to my new length. Maybe one good night with a girl will change my mind.
Desperately want to cycle but I can't deflate, painful. Its day 11 so it's still early days, not even 2 weeks.
I hope I start cycling on day 14.
I tried using a manual penis pump, it didn't work as I couldn't create a suction between the public and scrotal area and the pump. I won't start it now just experimenting with it. I hope there is a ved that works just by creating suction between the penis and the opening.
28 year old with severe lifelong ED.
Implanted in New Delhi on 26/12/19 with AMS CX (15x12) + 4cm RTE
Post op length 4.5 inches from ~ (5.5 to 6) inches. Disappointed!
Wish to have a revision to LGX some day.

Lost Sheep
Posts: 4423
Joined: Mon Jul 04, 2016 11:16 pm

Re: Depression haven't moved out of bed for the 4 days

Postby Lost Sheep » Mon Jan 06, 2020 1:38 pm

young_and_impotent wrote:DAY 11

Worked from home today. A change from sitting alone wallowing in pity.
Also getting used to my new length. Maybe one good night with a girl will change my mind.
Desperately want to cycle but I can't deflate, painful. Its day 11 so it's still early days, not even 2 weeks.
I hope I start cycling on day 14.
I tried using a manual penis pump, it didn't work as I couldn't create a suction between the public and scrotal area and the pump. I won't start it now just experimenting with it. I hope there is a ved that works just by creating suction between the penis and the opening.

If I read your post correctly, I am worried about you. The LAST thing you want to do is stress your now-healing surgical wounds. ESPECIALLY the internal incisions on your tunica. Split THAT with a Vacuum Device or cycling too soon and you will effectively undo the implant surgery and require reconstruction!

You are, however, VERY correct that one successful fuck with a willing partner will change your outlook for the better. Not like night turning into day, but more like the thunderclap following a nearby lightning strike.

Just be patient and follow your surgeon's post-op instruction TO THE LETTER!

You came this far, going through hell to get and endure the surgery. DON'T FUCK IT UP NOW by reaching too far too soon.
Lost Sheep
AMS LGX 18+3 Nov 6, 2017 Dr Shaw.
READ OLD THREADS to ask better questions and better understand answers.
Make yourself part of your medical team.
Document your current penile size: photos and written records.
Pre-op V.E.D. therapy helps.

young_and_impotent
Posts: 215
Joined: Mon Apr 23, 2018 1:00 pm

Re: Depression haven't moved out of bed for the 4 days

Postby young_and_impotent » Mon Jan 06, 2020 3:25 pm

You are right sir.

I won't touch the ved till at least 2 more months. Will focus on healing, deflating and then cycling.
28 year old with severe lifelong ED.
Implanted in New Delhi on 26/12/19 with AMS CX (15x12) + 4cm RTE
Post op length 4.5 inches from ~ (5.5 to 6) inches. Disappointed!
Wish to have a revision to LGX some day.

vajim1
Posts: 362
Joined: Tue Jan 16, 2018 2:19 pm

Re: Depression haven't moved out of bed for the 4 days

Postby vajim1 » Sat Jan 11, 2020 9:07 am

My doctor said DO NOT use a Ved, I know some doctors approve of it though.
76 year old fart. Prostate removed Oct. 9, 2017,Psa 30 days after .15 next Psa .2. 37 Radiation treatments for recurrent cancer, 1 year out Psa .033 ZERO ERECTIONS, implanted Sept 5 2019 Dr. Lentz Duke Raleigh N.C. Titan 22cm.

young_and_impotent
Posts: 215
Joined: Mon Apr 23, 2018 1:00 pm

Re: Depression haven't moved out of bed for the 4 days

Postby young_and_impotent » Fri Jan 31, 2020 4:26 pm

Update:

I have been cycling the implant twice daily.
There hasn't been any change in length, don't know if CX will change. But I see some people got something getting some length back with CX but I have not given up hope. I have started using a penis pump once a day.

I am having doubts if I was undersized in the first place. The tips are in the glans. Maybe I lost the length because of severe ED for so long. Some people in the forum have recovered length using VED so I am a bit hopeful there especially as pre-operative VED use has shown to increase size of the cylinder implanted.

I regret not using VED before implant but its my doctors job to tell me that. I read all about pre-operative VED in the forum and even tried 3 different pumps before giving up. I could never create suction with my very limp noodle. I didn't know about lube and never really tried too much. Bathmate didn't work either. I never believe a silicon ring could ever keep my erection as I used to lose erections pretty instantaneously.

Also, I always thought I would get the LGX and didn't mind using less than 1-inch length. Also, I was hell-bent on getting the implant as soon as possible as I am moving to another city soon. The doctor said that pre-operative VED use is not standard protocol and can cause edema. There's of video of Dr. Eid saying it hasn't shown to work. But I think it does because of the research article on it and many stories on FT.

Now for the good news. I noted that the tight sleeve of the vacuum pump keeps my penis engorged, especially the glans. Would a VED have worked before the implant? I doubt it but I'll never know now. What's done is done and I don't want to dwell on it. Even injections didn't work so I was kind of hopeless.

The glans engorged clearly gives me an extra inch and makes me not insecure about my penis. The huge glans kind of gives it an ok look to the penis and definitely gives it good girth at the top. Maybe I will use the pump before a session and seal it with a ring. Hopefully, the glans will remain engorged after a lot of movement. The ring will look weird but then I have a fucking implant. I have a girlfriend right now, we haven’t had intercourse yet. Don’t want to freak her out. Really hoping the ring will keep me engorged.

A problem with this is that the glans have almost no feeling. But right now the size insecurity is my main concern. Maybe when I am confident I will start enjoying myself and enjoying life in general. I will definitely work on oral and other things. I’ll work on fitness so I can penetrate well. I guess a flexible and fit body will make up for a bit of length on the penis. I am not fat and have little pubic fat. But getting rid of even that might help a bit.

I am moving to a new city tomorrow. There are a lot of good things going on in my life so will try to focus on that. Will keep working on cycling and pumping.
Yes my life is weird.
28 year old with severe lifelong ED.
Implanted in New Delhi on 26/12/19 with AMS CX (15x12) + 4cm RTE
Post op length 4.5 inches from ~ (5.5 to 6) inches. Disappointed!
Wish to have a revision to LGX some day.

Hunchback
Posts: 267
Joined: Sun Apr 30, 2017 5:00 am

Re: Depression haven't moved out of bed for the 4 days

Postby Hunchback » Tue Mar 03, 2020 9:37 am

You are really focusing too much on the size thing.
I know it feels bad to have a small dick, I myself have a 15cm At Best, most of the times it's more like 13 tho. It's also thinner than most, since it's at least proportionally fine - about 12-13cm in circumference.
I keep telling myself that if I had a bigger dick my wife would enjoy what we do even more, since she already seems to enjoy it a lot. That's true to some extent, especially concerning the width, however it's not THAT important. Her ex had a 20cm huge cock and she actually prefers mine since the huge thing hurt her more often than not...
Women really are not all that vaginal, believe what you want but the only real orgasm comes from the clit and even if you have a monster black cock you won't make her come just by penetration.

You might have a small dick now but many many other men have the same without having any health problems. Be happy that you have dealt with your main problem - you can get hard on demand, no more meds, injections and shit. No more angst and performance fear. In a way, even if it's not perfect its gonna work better than healthy men.
Heal up and go enjoy it with your GF. That's all that matters.
37 years old, married. ED all my life because of spinal cord injury caused by a tumor in early infant age. Using standard EDEX20 for ~ 16 years.

tiburonpup78
Posts: 8
Joined: Mon May 25, 2020 1:09 am
Contact:

Re: Depression haven't moved out of bed for the 4 days

Postby tiburonpup78 » Mon May 25, 2020 6:25 pm

I am so sorry to hear how sad you are. It is a process, truly, because there is the mental health component that is great as the medical aspect. Be good to yourself and hopeful, somehow these things have a way of working themselves out. I had my surgery last week, after two years of waiting, and the recovery is tough and I too, am up and down with my depression as looking at my penis with all of the swelling and stitches, as well as a third testicle. It is much heavier and spatial than I expected and it is overwhelming. :) In addition, they have it pumped up halfway, I guess that is part of the healing, so I can't go to the store or see people right now. Wearing boxers and loose shorts, but it is getting better. Hang in there my friend. :)


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