can't do this anymore (cross-posted)

What are your fears? Ideas? Hints? to coping with ED. What helps you with your mental game? How are relationships affected?
needsomehope
Posts: 46
Joined: Tue Jul 02, 2019 9:12 pm

can't do this anymore (cross-posted)

Postby needsomehope » Thu Aug 01, 2019 6:35 pm

I just can't take it. ED and lack of sex has ruined my life. if you look through my other posts, I've got a real nightmare situation. peyronies left untreated for years, venous leak, loss of size, atrophy, etc... I've been without physical intimacy most of my life and it's killing me. therapists/friends & family I've talked to try to tell me bullshit like "oh there's more to life than sex!" "you just need to volunteer and develop hobbies!". they either don't understand the pain I'm in or they can't bring themselves to be honest.

I had a glimmer of hope about getting the implant done by Dr. Eid, but even if it was successful, I'd have a diminished size 4.5 inch penis. I'm 6'4" so that looks extra pathetic on me. I just can't take it anymore. think I'm going to end things tomorrow.

thanks for the feedback I got on here. take care of yourselves fellas. and don't ever take your average sized units and sex lives for granted.

Frank Talk Admin
Site Admin
Posts: 597
Joined: Mon May 18, 2009 11:06 am
Location: NYC

Re: can't do this anymore (cross-posted)

Postby Frank Talk Admin » Thu Aug 01, 2019 7:06 pm

Ben,
Please don't. I just reached out to you. Help is on the way.
Paul

David_R
Posts: 2145
Joined: Mon Nov 02, 2015 1:03 pm

Re: can't do this anymore (cross-posted)

Postby David_R » Fri Aug 02, 2019 4:57 pm

I am willing to help, too, brother. I have done this with guys in similar depressed sexually-related situations. PM me if you want to. (Not a professional therapist, etc.)

radioradio
Posts: 1012
Joined: Tue Aug 09, 2016 2:44 pm
Location: Philly Burbs

Re: can't do this anymore (cross-posted)

Postby radioradio » Fri Aug 09, 2019 7:52 pm

David_R wrote:I am willing to help, too, brother. I have done this with guys in similar depressed sexually-related situations. PM me if you want to. (Not a professional therapist, etc.)

Ben,
Count me in too. Willing to talk to you any time, day or night.
I have suffered from and dealt with depression personally and watched as my son suffered from bipolar disorder, which drove him to take his life. It does not end pain, it transfers it to the people who love you.
I’m so happy Paul has reached out to you.
Bob
Born '52. Married '79. RALP 3/1/17. ED 50+% prior to surgery even w/ meds. VED, Injections, ineffective. Considering implant even before PCa diagnosis. Dr. Kramer 8/2/17. LGX 21cm+0.5 RTE. Kramer replaced/repositioned pump 12/13/17. Willing to Show/Tell.

User avatar
Quincy
Posts: 358
Joined: Tue Mar 27, 2012 6:03 pm
Location: Boise, ID

Re: can't do this anymore (cross-posted)

Postby Quincy » Fri Aug 09, 2019 8:44 pm

I've been depressive all my life, as have all of my children. Like Bob, I lost a son to suicide. It's the most painful thing I've ever been through. I deeply wish I could go back and hug him one more time and even more I wish I could speak with him and help him so that he wouldn't have made that move.

My depression has involved sexuality at times and I am another who is willing to talk with you at any time. My heart goes out to you. We all need intimacy, love, and friendship. I've found a lot of new friends just by being here, some developing into strong relationships with friends I'll have for the rest of my life. We can't understand what you're going through, but we can relate to a lot of it. Please reach out if you want to talk.

I don't want to add any pressure, but if you're interested in talking, just drop me a PM. I'll give you my phone number and we can talk, anytime.

Quincy.
68, Boise area, Married 44 years
ED from type 2 diabetes and PCa radiation. Gleason 3+4=7
AMS LGX surgery 6/5/18 with Edward Karpman in Silicon Valley, 18cm+3RTE

DougMac
Posts: 38
Joined: Sat Nov 09, 2013 9:36 pm
Location: NC
Contact:

Re: can't do this anymore (cross-posted)

Postby DougMac » Sun Aug 11, 2019 11:05 pm

Most of us have experienced to some degree. I am about to have a replacement of my implant and have been depressed. The last 2 years have been sexless except my hand LOL. Wife;s health is bad. I do understand and hope you will PM me.

needsomehope
Posts: 46
Joined: Tue Jul 02, 2019 9:12 pm

Re: can't do this anymore (cross-posted)

Postby needsomehope » Mon Aug 12, 2019 8:42 pm

I sent PMs to several of the guys in this thread who offered support. hope they got through to you. thank you all for the encouraging feedback.

DougMac
Posts: 38
Joined: Sat Nov 09, 2013 9:36 pm
Location: NC
Contact:

Re: can't do this anymore (cross-posted)

Postby DougMac » Wed Aug 14, 2019 10:20 pm

Hope you are doing well. Thinking of you today.

improvement87
Posts: 17
Joined: Sat Aug 10, 2019 8:19 pm

Re: can't do this anymore (cross-posted)

Postby improvement87 » Tue Aug 27, 2019 4:28 am

this whole story about people telling you "oh dont worry just go help other people, focus your life outward, just get involved in activities, maybe do some charity work.. etc.." enrages me to no end, even reading that.. I had to cool off after that.. thats how angering that is.. I want you to know i feel your pain on that man.. .. ive had people tell me stuff like that at difficult points in my life and i honestly took it as neglect and abuse.. my best solution for dealing with people telling me that is tell them something very negative like "id rather hurt people than help people im not here to help anybody, i dont care about anyone but myself, i dont care if everyone drops dead tomorrow i only care about myself.. the only thing i care about is my problems and i dont give a damn about anyone or anything else.."and be really angry and dead serious when you say it.. if anything sound a little threatening and unhinged about it, this will forever make them not see you "that way" again.. and end that crap right where it started.. maybe it will make them take you and your needs serious..

people need to realize they are neglecting YOUR needs... and YOUR cries for help. and you need to make sure they never ever tell you that ever again.. those are like the most horrible, empty, non-understanding.. "socially approved responses" one can ever receive when they need to help THEMSELVES .. anyone who says that crap to me I will say things to them so terrible they will never ever say that to me again as long as they live and they will never see me the same way.. after my experiences ive decided forever if i have the choice its better to be seen as unhinged terrible angry selfish lunatic than to be neglected and rolled over and not listened to .. just my 2 cents

sorry, have to vent here because ive gone through something similar before, dont let anyone NEGLECT YOUR NEEDS

Anyway, an implant is only 4.5 inches? maybe you can get to 5 inches? im 6'2 and my natural erection is about 5'5, i think thats pretty average, i never thought it was small.. honestly 4.5 inches is not "good" but its not "horrible" either.. id understand total despair if it was like 2.5 or 3 inches.. but 4.5 .. sure some girls may think youre a bit "small" but youll find somebody.. i honestly dont think thats a deal breaker for a lot of women.. 4.5 isnt really as bad as you are making it out to be.. by the way height doesnt matter for dick size.. 5 foot tall guys have dicks the same size as 6 foot tall guys

i mean there are women out there who are understanding of guys who cant get it up, take injections, etc.. you probably i dont think will have much difficulty getting someone being understanding of a 4.5 inch erection.. honestly.. its probably on par with being a guy whos 5 feet tall, plenty of guys like that can still find girlfriends and wives, its not like "deformed" or "midget" level.. I was just talking to a guy who was getting married to a beautiful young girl and he had terrible ed and wasnt taking any treatments and was afraid he wouldnt even be able to get it up on his wedding night at all.. and yet this girl was marrying him.. think about that vs a perfectly functioning 4.5 inch cock that goes for hours non stop perfectly

anyway man best of luck, keep the focus on yourself and what you want and what you need always, dont let anyone or anything else dissuade you even 1% and smack the shit out of people metaphorically if need be to get them to wake up or back off..

sorry for the unorthodox advice but ive been there myself and i know how it feels.. better to deal with it like this than to hurt yourself in any way i think...i am a big believer that its healthier to turn your anger outward than inward.. im just giving you what has helped me and my personal approach even if its a bit different perspective maybe, if you want to reach out feel free any time man..

Flavio
Posts: 648
Joined: Wed May 19, 2010 4:56 am

Re: can't do this anymore (cross-posted)

Postby Flavio » Tue Oct 15, 2019 5:37 am

I have a small dick and I've suffered from ED for most of my adult life. And yes, anxiety and depression can take over our lives. The good news: there are effective solutions out there.

When I go through a negative sexual experience, I just have a break: one week, one month, three months without any type of sexual activity, whatever it takes to clear my mind.

Advice #2: lots and lots of research on this subject. Knowledge is power and the more you know about ED, the less stressful it will be. Stay strong, God bless!
Age 40. Psychogenic ED for over 20 years. Current regimen: Udenafil 200 mg, oral phentolamine mesylate 40 mg, Seredyn.


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